Life and Work with Saihba Ali

Saihba, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
It was a cold day when I made my way home from my therapist’s office. I wondered if she could make any sense of the crash course that I gave her in the cultural aspects of my turmoil. I felt more disturbed then when I had entered her office. An overwhelming sense of loneliness and helplessness continued to drown me. A life altering tragedy, a nervous breakdown, a lesson in spiritual resilience, a wonderful husband, and fifteen years later – I found myself face to face with a young woman facing a similar situation – and like me – Alone. She could not find any counselor that she felt could understand her culture, her choices, and her consequences. As an immigrant – she had left all her family, friends, and community support network – “back home”. While she carried with her the burden of cultural expectations and fear of social disgrace – all the way to her “new home”. She had no one here to share her sorrow. She could not bear to worry her family far away, especially since they would be powerless to help long distance. It was imperative that she is able to find the help and the hope to survive this crisis in her life. The help and hope that I had needed and did not find. “Be the Change….” whispered my Gandhian legacy.

I had a Masters in English literature and was pursuing a career in teaching. Switching gears, it took me two and a half years to complete my Masters in Counseling program from Southern Methodist University. I speak three languages and am well versed with the cultures and religions of the South Asian and Middle Eastern communities. I had moved to America as a young woman, and have now lived more of my adult life here than the country of my origin. Texas is ‘Home’ and being American is a vital part of my identity. I can also relate to the immigrant narrative, and the acculturation challenges. I am cognizant of their struggle to navigate between their own cultural identity, and to understand and support their second-generation children. I found an abundance of reasons for pursuing a degree in mental health counseling, in addition to the unique joy of doing homework at the dining table with my kids, and cribbing about the lunch that I gave all of us that day. It also helped that this profession valued my diverse cultural experiences, and considered my age acquired wisdom an asset.

The field of mental health is not only plagued with stigma, there is also a general lack of clarity that makes it difficult to seek help and find the relevant resources. In an effort to fight the stigma and dispel ambiguity – I began to work with the East Plano Islamic Center to add a counseling referral help line service, named Helping Heal Hurting Hearts (H4). In my second year of the master’s program, that effort reached fruition as we successfully launched the  H4 program at EPIC that helped guide and assist community members to mental health resources.

During my internship, I joined Texas Muslim Women’s Foundation – a non-profit organization founded by Muslim women to serve all survivors of domestic abuse. Even though I had joined TMWF for the duration of my internship, I could not imagine drawing myself away from the indiscriminate and incredibly rewarding comprehensive care that they provide to our most vulnerable populations. They are a culturally sensitive trauma informed agency, that is also active in building bridges with their interfaith initiatives. This is exactly where I needed to be, and I am honored that I have been able to help empower many young women. I am now fully licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I also volunteered (in part) at a free clinic run by Islamic Association of North Texas in Richardson.  I have established my own private practice as Calme Hearts of Texas and practice at clinics in Richardson and Plano.

Has it been a smooth road?
The personal journey that inspired and tempered me to be in this healing profession, was heart breaking more often than not. Counselor education requires you to begin with confronting and working through your own pain. In comparison, the logistical hurdles seemed to be of reasonable difficulty. Going back to school after a long break, navigating through a new education system, juggling home, family, social commitments, and pop quizzes posed their own set of challenges. Having my children, nieces, and nephews scrutinize my grades as a payback to my scrutiny of theirs, kept me running out of highlighter ink and wearing out the keys on the keyboard.

My advice to young women is to pause and be very thorough in selecting their destination, prior to embarking on their journey. Try to imagine that you are on the stage for a lifetime achievement award. What do you envision that they are saying about you? Focus – not on the size of the stage or the sound of the applause – but the number of lives that you have impacted in a positive manner. When you find your passion, you become unstoppable. Every wall that you encounter is no more than a gateway to a new adventure.

When my father passed away, several streets around our home were filled with crowds of people that walked with the funeral procession. We were humbled to see the people whose lives he had touched so deeply that they seemed to have lost someone very close to them. I wonder who will come out for me? Drop whatever it is they are doing and see me off on that eternal journey? My lifetime achievement stage simply – is that one. I won’t be here to see it, but I work every day to make it spectacular. What is you stage? Where do you see yourself in a hundred years? What do they say about you AFTER? That is the blueprint of your journey.

So, as you know, we’re impressed with Calme Hearts of Texas – tell our readers more, for example what you’re most proud of as a company and what sets you apart from others.
My private practice clinic Calme Hearts of Texas is at two easily accessible locations in Plano and Richardson. I offer a sliding fee scale to make therapy affordable for most. I see a range of issues and offer individual counseling, group counseling, adolescent counseling, pre-marital counseling, couple’s counseling, and family counseling.