Today we’d like to introduce you to Kim Muench.
Kim, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I am the founder of Real Life Parent Guide, and I am passionate about empowering parents of adolescents to create happier, healthier, more functional relationships with their sons and daughters.
In May of 2008, I went through the greatest parenting challenge of my life. The eldest of my five children called me from across the country to say he was in trouble… he was failing classes, about to lose his job, and his use of alcohol was out of control. At the time he was twenty years old.
When I answered his call for help, I didn’t waste time wondering how it had happened or ask myself, “Why me?!” I knew the way I had parented and was parenting, was a contributing factor to the life-threatening situation he was in and one that I could no longer deny.
During his spiral through the darkness, I worked with my son to help him find long term sobriety by supporting and encouraging him but never doing for him what he could do for himself. It wasn’t easy, all the while my energy and focus were on discovering and understanding where things between him and me, actually myself and all of my children, could be different/better/healthier/more connected.
I knew any change in our relationship started with me. And, to this day, it continues with me. So, I began to educate myself and practice parenting in a completely different light.
Today, my son is nine years sober.
In my journey to redefine my role as a mom who would guide, instead of trying to control my kid’s choices and behavior, one who would work hand-in-hand with them instead of trying to dominate the relationship, I was led to research dozens of parenting, self-discovery, and personal growth books and courses. It prompted me to return to college to finish a degree in psychology, and it led me to an internship where my greatest responsibility was supporting and encouraging other parents who had teens in outpatient addiction treatment. In addition, my path led me to spend a year writing and publishing a memoir about my experience as a mother with a child in the throes of addiction.
Ultimately, my journey prompted me to pursue a certification in parent coaching through the Jai Institute for Parenting because I believe the quality of the relationship between ourselves and our children is the essence of what it will take to create positive change in the world, not only during our lifetime but for future generations as well. Everything else in the world changes, why would we expect to continue to parent the way previous generations have?
Everything our kids learn and experience starts at home with us so our continued pursuit of emotional connection to ourselves is the essence of being emotionally conscious and available to our children.
I call myself a real-life parent guide because I have a very down-to-earth approach to balancing kids needs, parents desires, and keeping what our culture tells us about how our family life “should look” in check. Parents who choose to work with me are ready to embrace discovering what I have found with my own kids…peace, mutual trust and respect, playfulness, camaraderie and… above all else… unconditional love and acceptance.
My kids, who are now in middle school to married have taught me about where I needed to grow as a mom, and about the importance of having faith, calm, courage, patience, and grace incorporated into my parenting.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
The greatest obstacle I have faced (and continue to face) is the stigma and judgment around parenting in general. Connecting with parents interested in improving themselves in order to better the parent/child relationship. Many parents know there are behavior or emotional problems with their kids but would rather find a reason it’s the child’s fault than to work on themselves in the name of taking accountability for their part in the relationship.
This is because most of us were raised in the traditional parenting paradigm where we didn’t ever question our parents or disobey their authority… we complied and we performed in order to gain their love and affection. This squelched our spirits and causes is to not want to look within ourselves to change. Instead, we feel shame and project it onto our sons and daughters.
But you see, our children come through us, not for us, but for the lessons they reflect us… during their own journey… in an effort to grow us up along the way.
We’d love to hear more about your work.
I specialize in working with parents and their teens (when the teen is interested in becoming part of the solution by meeting with me) through one-on-one sessions done in my Flower Mound office or via Zoom video call. I am known for being a compassionate, non-judgmental listener who helps uncover what’s going on beneath the surface behavior issues in the home. I then identify what is being triggered in the parent by the teen’s actions (often limiting beliefs that stem from childhood experiences) and helping the parents gain clarity and new beliefs that will better serve their current parent-child relationships. This is the work of changing generational patterns so the outcome improves not only family life today, but also (when/if those teens grow up to have kids of their own) their future grandchildren as well. Parent coaching is an investment of time and energy today that will affect generations to come!
There is no greater feeling than helping families create and build stronger connections with one another because family is the foundation that is then brought into the school, community, and world at large. There is no more urgent time to do this work than now, our children’s behavior is screaming for us to evolve the parent/child relationship from one of “over” the child to one of parenting WITH our children and allowing them to become who they are meant to be, rather than who we want or need them to become to satisfy our ego and agenda.
What were you like growing up?
I grew up in an upper-middle-class suburb of Milwaukee, Wisconsin… so, Midwestern roots. My husband got a job in Texas in 2007 and we moved our family (minus my oldest who was in college at the time) to Flower Mound where we knew no one. I have always hated long, cold winters so I LOVE Texas heat… but I very much miss the people from that part of the country.
As I child, I was labeled “shy”, I had a hard time making friends because I lacked confidence and my family did move around (in the same area) a lot. I didn’t like sports… I enjoyed writing in my diary a lot!
Looking back, I would say I was introverted, which I am still very much this way today. I didn’t have a lot of friends but those I did were very close. For the first 35 years of my life, I wanted to fit in; I did things/said things/bought things that would gain me acceptance. However, in the past 10-15 years, I have really worked on uncovering my authentic self and embracing me without care for how it may affect others.
Pricing:
- I offer a 20-minute complimentary phone consultation before beginning any work together
- I charge $75.00 per hour for a 60-minute session
- I have an 8-week online course I personally guide parents through, which also includes 8 one-hour personal sessions for $699.00
Contact Info:
- Website: www.realifeparentguide.com
- Phone: 972-689-0250
- Email: realifeparentguide@gmail.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimmuench.realifeparentguide/
- Other: www.realifeparentguide.com
Image Credit:
Jessica Renee Photography
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