Today we’d like to introduce you to Abida Minhas.
Hi Abida, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstories.
My parents came to the United States, immigrating to Texas from Pakistan in the 80s, with hopes of raising their children with the best American education and success in life.
I, being the oldest sibling of four, often witnessed my father and mother laboring at menial jobs. My father, being an architect by trade, often worked night shifts in local gas stations and night security in various restaurants. My mother would often work to babysit small children or help cater for local community members, to make ends meet. I often saw my parents struggle or having to watch my younger siblings, thought of dropping out of school, but my parents always encouraged education. They often, even in anger at times, said “the only path to success is education.”
During high school my father was finally able to get a professional job and things finically stabilized for a few years, as my family was starting to see some prosperity.
I got a scholarship for college and was exceling academically, and my parents were so happy.
During freshmen year, my world changed. I got a call from my mother, and it became a “flashbulb memory”. She asked me to come home, and as I reached home, my father’s best friend waited and said my father had been taken to the hospital from his office. My mother looked somber, and no one spoke for the hour car ride. In the hospital, we were asked to wait in a room for the doctor to come update us. As the doctor came in, I knew from his face, my father was gone.
My father had suffered a fatal cardiac arrest and within hours my life turned from a nineteen-year-old college student to roles of a parent and caretaker for the family. I, as the eldest, in a traditional Pakistani family, became a second parent for my siblings.
I found a full-time job, at a doctor’s office, and my mother and I became the income earners.
Things were tough then, there was school and work, and due to the stress, my grades started slipping. I, once again, proposed, to my mother that I drop out and once again my mother very sternly said “I cannot ever imagine life without your father, and our dream was to educate our children, and I will not disappoint him.” I took that as a “no.”
After my father’s passing, I also observed and experienced the impact of trauma, in a finically limited immigrant home. My forty-four-year-old mother could not grieve her husband, someone she truly loved, instead had to focus on providing for her children. My young brothers and I had no resources, or access to therapists, who could help us through trauma.
Then exactly two months after my father’s sudden passing, 9/11 happened. I remember walking to my biology class and a hoard of people running out of classes, and chaos around me.
It seemed like the world was ending and again I felt the fear and anxiety of the unknown.
That year, to my mother’s dismay, I changed my pre-med route to Psychology.
If I had to “be educated” I wanted to help people who were also lost like I was. I wanted to find hope in the chaos and help others find it too, and that became my goal.
From my father passing to a post 9/11 world, as an immigrant Pakistani American the world seemed scary. I often started having racist remarks made towards me.
My friend and I even experienced someone running after us yelling, while we ran to our car for safety. In hindsight, little did that person know, my world had not yet healed from my father’s passing, and now I felt even more unsafe.
In junior year, I started working as a student intern, for my Social Psychology professor, that paved my career. I often found solace in my psychology classes. I learned about grief, the world of trauma, and more than that, about myself.
From early college experiences, that almost took me out of college, from being a working student and provider for my family, my career has seen it all.
I went on to receive a masters, get married, have children, licensed as a mental health provider.
I have created a network for therapists, from multicultural backgrounds. I am on the board for organizations to help communities have access to mental health services, something I could not find in my own grief.
In the COVID-19 pandemic, I have worked tirelessly to help many clients struggling with their mental health and have felt so fulfilled. However, seeing so much loss again, something pulled at my heart to keep my educational journey going.
I have always had the drive and hard work my parents gave to me. It’s the same aspiration of my parents wanting their daughter to be educated.
It has been a great honor to fulfill a generational dream and truly achieve a personal purpose of helping those who need hope through chaos.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
I wish I could say it was, but it took a lot to become who I am today. Along with my career, as well as being a wife and a mother, it wasn’t always easy balancing both family and work. My wonderful husband, Zahid, has helped and supported me through out the journey.
Another hurdle I face was being a Pakistani Muslim female. There has many times in the process of building my career where I faced discrimination and was talked down to, I tried to not let that get the best of me. However there were times where I would often think “maybe they are right.” With persistence I learned to be confident in myself, and the more confident I became in my work and the more communities I connected with. These were communities that faced inequalities and inequities in mental healthcare. I started working and building networks in these spaces to provide mental health education and in parallel that grew my own practice. I saw a need and that transpired a lot of change in Muslim multicultural communities in DFW area. I was soon able to prove that hard work paid off. It has been a true journey of the American dream.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
Our team provides mental health counseling services for people of all backgrounds struggling with shaping a sense of personal identity in a world of instant information. We provide a range of services to support the mental and psychological needs of our community and utilize expert psychological strategy and assessments with all of our clients. With the right amount of time, effort, and guidance, know that you can create healthy and positive relationships, careers, and lives. We are transparent, approachable and provide a safe space for you to have open and honest conversation with no judgment.
Who else deserves credit in your story?
A huge chunk of my success goes to my family, my husband, kids, parents, siblings, and friends. Without their support, I don’t know how any of this would be possible. They have constantly supported me through thick and thin, and have been my biggest cheerleaders though-out the entire process.
Another person would be my colleague, Madiha Ashraf. She was with me though-out the process of creating The Impact Counselors and is a current one of the partners at the practice. I also have great colleagues in the community and a great team that works at the Impact group. They make a very intense field of work, a journey of hope and comfort!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.theimpactcounselors.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theimpactcounselors/
