Today we’d like to introduce you to Kiley Parish.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
Looking back, I never could have imagined that I would become the director of a transitional living program for young men. But, when unexpected needs arise, plans tend to go out the window. Starting out, I always knew that I wanted to help people, specifically I wanted to help alleviate suffering. However, when you are in college considering future career paths, the life goal of alleviating suffering can take many different forms. Almost any job, when done with character and care, can help alleviate suffering. In fact, throughout my time at Criswell College (shout out to my alma mater!), I had intended to become a licensed counselor. However, the more classes I attended, the more I realized that I wanted to help meet the needs of others in a different but just as needed way, which introduced me to the world of social work!
As my focus was turning to social work, I began interning at Exodus Ministries, a transitional living program for formerly incarcerated mothers and their children. It was during this time that I was able to work underneath Stephanie DeBose, LMSW, Director of Case Management at Exodus. However, Stephanie was more than just a case manager to the women at Exodus. She was an advocate, a resource, a friend, a counselor, a coach, and whatever else they needed her to be. I witnessed firsthand her passion and work to change the trajectories of so many futures, and through this time, I became confident that social work was the field I wanted to be in. When my internship at Exodus ended, I started looking at other organizations that I could join, and one late night, I came across a job posting for a house manager at Jim Riley Outreach (JRO).
As I learned more about JRO, my love for their mission and their work grew. JRO serves young adults who have aged out of the foster care system or who are homeless without critical support. “Adulting is hard ” is our slogan, and while I believe that is true at any age, it certainly felt true as a fresh college graduate! I was elated to be hired as the house manager for Blake’s House (BH), our program for young women, and I lived and worked at BH for a year. During that time, I had the honor of doing life with my girls in the big and small moments of life. Suffering was being alleviated in the big work we were doing through counseling, life skills classes, and life coaching, but also in the smaller moments of picking up one of my girls from work so that she did not have to walk in the rain or going out on a late-night drive with one of my girls to talk about the hard feelings that the week has brought to her. The year I spent as house manager of Blake’s House remains very special to me, and I still remain closely connected with the girls I had the privilege to walk alongside that year!
After that first year, I decided to take a break from living and working in the same space. I left JRO wishing I could stay in a different capacity, and although I didn’t realize at the time, a door would open for me to come back sooner rather than later! Four months later, I would get to come back to the JRO family as the Volunteer and Aftercare Coordinator, where I would get to head up our mentoring program and help continue the vision of family to all of our JRO Alumni. It was during this time that His House, our program for young men, entered into my vision. His House was undergoing staffing turnover, and unfortunately, we were not able to find the right person to step in and provide the consistent care our boys so desperately needed. Through an unforeseen need for immediate staffing at His House, I was asked if I would step in as director to provide some stability in what had been quite a turbulent time. While being a completely unexpected ask, I said yes because our boys were and are worth saying yes to, and they desperately needed someone to be what Stephanie was to the women at Exodus: a resource, an advocate, a friend, a counselor, a coach, and whatever else they would need me to be. And now, here I am sharing a chapter of my story that is turning into one of my favorite chapters yet!
We all face challenges, but looking back, would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
It has definitely not been a smooth road, and I think that would be the typical answer for anyone and everyone in social work. You willingly sign up for a bumpy road! For JRO as a whole, but even more so for His House, one of the biggest struggles has been finding the right people to join our JRO family. This struggle is seen across the board in both staffing and volunteer needs. We struggle to find capable and caring house managers who want to work and live at His House, as well as relief house managers who will step in for the weekend when our house managers are taking some well-deserved time off. House managers are integral to the rhythms and consistencies of our program because they are key to the community and family that we strive to create at JRO. But, as I mentioned, it is not only in finding staff that we struggle with but also in finding male volunteers who are reliable role models for our young men. We always have a need for male mentors to meet with our guys and become a part of their support system, and a need for life skills teachers and spiritual discussion leaders to help teach and engage our guys with new ideas and skills. Another volunteer role that is vital to what we do is professional counselors who are willing to meet with our guys for free or for a discounted rate so that they can begin the process of healing deep wounds. I could go on about the people-centered needs that we have, but I am sure you get the idea! We need good people, specifically good men, who want to love on the young adults in their community and join us in our mission to equip homeless and at-risk individuals to cultivate long-term life change!
As you know, we’re big fans of Jim Riley Outreach. For our readers who might not be as familiar, what can you tell them about the brand?
As I mentioned before, Jim Riley Outreach serves young adults 18-25 who have aged out of foster care or who are homeless without critical support. Our vision is to empower individuals through life skills, supportive community, and accountability, to go forth and lead self-sufficient lives that bring pride, purpose, and peace to their days. We work toward this vision through our two programs in Collin County: Blake’s House for young women and His House for young men. We provide a safe living environment, equip residents with life skills, foster educational and career advancement, and build a network of support around them through mentors and individual coaching.
If I was to break down the three main components of JRO, they would be life skills, life coaching, and connection nights. Our life skills classes cover a variety of topics in the areas of finances, personal living, interpersonal communication, and resilience development. Each year, I find myself learning something new right along with our residents, whether it’s a new trick from our car management class or a new budgeting nugget from our financial series! In addition to classes, our residents all have access to life coaching. Our residents meet weekly with myself or our other director, Hope, to develop goals, create action steps to reach their goals, and to have accountability for their personal growth. These meetings are one of the sweetest parts of our week because you get to work directly with our young men and women to achieve their goals. Some goals that I work on with our young men include getting a driver’s license, gaining their GED or starting college, and/or budgeting to get out of debt or save for a first car! And the last component of our programs would be connection nights. On connection nights, activities alternate between meeting with mentors and having spiritual discussions. JRO provides our residents with mentors throughout their time in the program, with the hope that the connection lasts well beyond the program. We hope this relationship will serve as a resource for life for our residents. Mentors serve as advocates for our residents in the small daily things, as well as the big life decisions. Our mentors are amazing men and women who have given their time and energy to on love our residents! The second part of connection nights is spiritual discussions. During spiritual discussions, residents explore big-picture ideas about God, such as “How do we even know God exists?” or “Why would God allow suffering in the world?”. Through this space, residents have the opportunity to untangle what spirituality means to them without having to be worried about having the right answer.
One of the main characteristics of JRO that sets us apart from other programs would be our intentional family-like environment. We only serve three residents per house at a time, and residents can stay with us for up to two years. These decisions were made with the mindset of quality over quantity. We want to be able to invite our young men and women into the JRO family and give them individualized care and attention, which is no less than what they deserve. We believe that this intentionality allows us to equip our young people to cultivate long-term life change.
When I think of what I am most proud about at JRO, two things come to mind. First, I am proud of our holistic approach. We believe for futures to be changed; healing needs to touch every area of our residents’ lives. For this reason, physical wellness, emotional wellness, intellectual wellness, spiritual wellness, social wellness, and occupational wellness are all woven into our program, rather than just focusing on one area. The life skills, life coaching, and connection nights are all intentionally cultivated to encompass all areas of wellness, and we regularly review our holistic approach and make adjustments as needed. Two of the newest additions to the JRO life skills roster are our boundary and trauma restoration life skills, which aims to help our residents find greater emotional wellness!
The second characteristic of our program that I am most proud of is our desire to embody a family for our residents. We celebrate birthdays, holidays, graduations, and all the wins, big and small, throughout the year. We hang our residents’ pictures on the walls, just as you might see your pictures on the walls at your family home. We enter into everyday rhythms of life with our residents from grocery shopping, taking walks in the neighborhood, and watching movies on a rainy day, just to name a few! We also have an aftercare program where our sole purpose is to stay connected with our alumni so that they know that they are always part of the family! Helping our alumni with taxes (because that never stops being hard!), editing papers for college courses, and going to scary doctor appointments are just a few examples of how we continue to embody a family for our residents, even after they have graduated the program. Our motto is “Once a JRO resident, always a JRO resident,” and we pray that our young men and women not only know this in their minds but also feel this in their hearts!
What was your favorite childhood memory?
My favorite childhood memories always center around my grandmother, or as us grandchildren call her, Grandmere. Staying over at her house created memories that I can still feel decades later. Whenever bedtime arrived, she would softly sing me Blue Skies and Rainbows over and over until I was eventually ushered into sleep. Some of the best sleeping I can remember happened in Grandmere’s huge king-sized bed that felt like the epitome of comfort and luxury to me as a child (and still is!), and I would always wake up feeling snuggled like a bug in a rug! As I would prepare to go back to sleep once I woke up in the morning (because I never wanted to leave the comfiness of Grandmere’s bed), the smell of Malt-O-Meal would waft into the room, and any thoughts of going back to sleep would vanish, as Grandmere’s Malt-O-Meal, was, and still is, the best thing to wake up to in the morning! Even though these memories encompass everyday moments of going to sleep and waking up to eat breakfast, they still bring a smile to my face today, and to this day, I can still feel the love that my Grandmere was giving me in those moments. Many of my favorite childhood and even adult memories include my Grandmere. She has had a profound impact on my life and has always made sure I knew that she loved me, that she was proud of me, and that she would always be there for me. If she gets the chance to read this, I would want her to know how grateful I am for her presence in my life, and that I consider having her as my grandmother one of the biggest blessings and privileges of my life. And I can only hope to leave those around me with the type of memories that can still be felt a decade later, as she has done for me.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://jimrileyoutreach.org/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hishousetx/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hishouseinc/ https://www.facebook.com/blakeshouse4U/
- Other: https://www.instagram.com/blakeshousetx/
Image Credits
Alyssa Masters
Aaron Helm
