Today we’d like to introduce you to Stella Duff.
Hi Stella, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
Well, I’m just a woman from the south side of St.Louis, Missouri. My mother moved me and my siblings here officially when I was 10. So I basically grew up here in Dallas. As I was growing up, I experienced much trauma that I never talked about but I know it will change another woman’s life. So I’ll share a little that was life changing for me. Most people see me as I positive strong person that speaks her mind often but nobody sees the little girl in me that’s always had to protect herself because there was nobody there to make her feel safe and protected. Starting after I moved from my great great grandmother’s house to Dallas and being molested by a man that my mother married and my oldest brother. I never talked about it or told anybody because I just felt like it was me against the world. Those situations caused me to be a person who was always to herself most of the times, even throughout school. I’ve had a couple of friends, but none that made me feel at safe. So as I graduated from high school, I honestly didn’t have a plan. Nobody talked to me about planning my life but just after getting my first job at Sears with the help of an officer at Franklin D. Roosevelt High School and having to pay help my mother pay bills instead of being able to do anything for myself, I knew I wanted to be my own boss because I didn’t want nobody else telling me what to do with my own money. Not because I didn’t want to help my mother pay bills but so I could spoil myself because I never knew what that felt like, not even a little bit. So although I didn’t have a plan, I still believed somewhere that God had a plan for me through it all. I wasn’t focused though because I thought I had found the love of my life at just 17, and didn’t go to college and ended up having a baby. I was honestly thinking that I had the opportunity to build my own family now and have a safe place where I would always be loved and protected. My Babygirl, Brooklyn, became my world. I never thought about having kids, it was not anywhere in my plans but having her gave me a real-world awakening and I knew I had to get it together. So I enrolled in college, which was Remington College in Garland, TX at the time, for Business Management. I still didn’t have a plan but I knew I needed to learn something if I wanted to be my own boss. Now that I think about it, it was a weird time because I was still staying with my mother, and we wasn’t getting along, especially after she found out I was pregnant. So I moved with the Father of my child and his mother, and I say weird time because I still didn’t feel at home anywhere. At this point I was deep in survival mode, waiting for things to change. As I look back, I didn’t know what real love felt like because I had no real loving support that was pushing me forward. The school was far now that I had moved, maybe got a few rides here and there but nothing consistent. I still tried with public transportation I was getting bigger and I couldn’t take it anymore so I just stopped going. I lost my drive, and I believe it’s because I didn’t have a clear vision of what I was doing in Business school. So at this time I’m 19 & my baby was born August 18th, 2009, and my world changed for the better. I felt real love, like the love I wanted me & my mother to have. Now was my opportunity to be the Mother that I needed. I started having a real vision because there was a bigger purpose behind it because I knew that my daughter could not just be in this world and me not have a plan because, of course, she wasn’t going to be a baby forever. It was time to start breaking generational curses. So as she started growing up, through everything that I was going through I started getting back close with God as my great great grandmother had me before having to move to Dallas. That helped my vision because I was just a girl with no plan. I had a couple of jobs, but in 2011, I was hired to work at a Mortgage company. It was great pay at the time, and I was able to get me and my daughter established in an apartment. I knew it wasn’t enough, but it definitely had me feeling secure at that time. In the midst of all of that, I found myself helping and giving money to people I thought had my back too, but I was wrong. Looking back I was mostly being used and not even knowing it. On top of not managing my money correctly, buying unnecessary things for my daughter and myself because I still craved for that feeling of being spoiled so I was spoiling us myself, until I couldn’t afford to anymore. That happens when your own plans are not clear. I wasn’t receiving back the money that was owed to me, and I started falling behind on things and my world was just getting crazy to me, but I was still managing on my own with my daughter and bare minimum help. I would always listen to Eric Thomas the hip-hop preacher on the way to work, and he would always say something that lit a fire under me, I just needed a plan. Something happened in October 2013 that I could never imagine, but it had to be in God’s plan. I was doing a lot of overtime at the same Mortgage company that I was working at, and one day I was picking up my daughter, and I was told she wasn’t active like her usual self, so it hurt my soul that I couldn’t notice that there was something wrong with my child because I’ve been giving majority of my time to my job. So we took her to the doctor, and they claim it was just a virus. So we went home, but a week later, we ended back up there because while being at the Texas State Fair, she just started throwing up out of nowhere and just staring into space. We rushed to hospital to find out that she was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, which is fluid on the brain and she had to have a major surgery. Brain Surgery!!! Now this is when I knew my Faith kicked in because there wasn’t a worry bone in my body that anything was going to go wrong. My main thoughts were, what am I going to do after this because I didn’t ever want to spend so much time at a job that I didn’t notice something was wrong with my daughter. She could have died, they said. I was really in deep thought at that moment. My mindset shifted in a major way, positively. She was released from the hospital after a week and some days & that’s when everything changed, and those Eric Thomas videos started replaying in my mind. I went back to work afterwards, and ironically my badge wasn’t working, so I was called into the office and was fired because I went beyond the days from the short-term leave. Something that I didn’t understand and honestly at this point I didn’t have the mental capacity to care about that job. I couldn’t do anything but laugh because one thing I’ve learned is when it doesn’t make sense or you’re confused, it’s most likely God making it better and making sense of it all. That was when my vision started coming together. I started thinking about other everyday mothers that maybe spending so much time at work that they can’t even tend to their children. I wanted to know how I could change that. Like how could I help mothers that have dealt with past trauma take care of bills, have the time freedom with their children, and not have to stress about life due to lack of help. One day an old middle school classmate introduced me to an affiliate marketing program called WakeUpNow. I know many have heard of it and thought it was a joke. It was actually an amazing concept that introduced me to seeing what else was possible in entrepreneurship because all it took was to find people on social media or outside, that wanted an extra income that came with products, which was like travel trips and everyday products that we use. Now I was learning something new but after a couple of easy checks made, something still didn’t click for me. I wasn’t apart of it long because I realized that I needed to learn some people/communication skills. I seriously needed a coach or mentor to help me develop and with me being a person who was always to herself most of my life, I was cool with talking to people but I wasn’t as confident talking to people about business. So 2014, I came across some mentors through social media who was apart of an financial services company. Which taught a lot about credit and money management. What was funny is I didn’t make any money but those skills that I said I needed to learn, I learned them by going to several of the company events in different states over the years and meeting people from all walks of life. All while seeing what was possible through the successful individuals from those events. I still had different jobs here and there because I still needed income to pay the bills and at that time to travel to. I was more excited about traveling and meeting new people because once I was able to gain that confidence, I realized I was what more I was capable of. Starting taking more photos of myself and I was being noticed by photographers that wanted to do photoshoots which led me to being in a few fashion shows. Modeling is something that I have always wanted to do but didn’t really pursue because of what I experienced as a child on top of girls trying to bully me because they thought I was “thinking I was all that” Literally their words…Lol! So I can honestly say, all of that killed my confidence a little because I couldn’t understand how I could be mistreated the way that I was and hated for just being me. The bullying was weird but I believe it was just my walk because I used to watch America’s Next Top Model with Tyra Banks and mimick her as if I was on the show. People always tell me, still today that I walk like I’m on a runway. I just walk tall with my head high, no matter what I maybe going through in life. The devil tired to steal my innocence early and I may not have had confidence with talking to other people about certain things, but I’ve always had a strong love and confidence within myself. I don’t take any credit though because I know that was just God building me up. I think that’s what people have hated the most about me and tried to destroy. What I love about it though is that it has also inspired many. So I’ve enjoyed the photoshoots and fashion shows because I still have the dream of blessing the world with my beauty on a Magazine. I was close to being on Maxim magazine, but it was a people’s vote which many people didn’t click the link to vote for me after I reached Top 10. It was still a confirmation for me that it’s possible one day. The trajectory of my life changed as an adult in 2019 when I lost everything. My job, my apartment, my car, and almost lost my mind because the people that I would give my last to was little to no support. I laugh now because I needed that. My little brother Clifford was most definitely my angel though because he did what he could to support me in any way possible even with him having his own family. We all need somebody at some point in our life but I realized I had been figuring life out on my own, my entire life. That was my lightbulb season though. Like a light came on and everything that I had learned over the years, it was time to take the lessons serious and apply it. Especially since I gained the passion for wanting to help other everyday mothers step boldly into their purpose. I always felt misunderstood as if people was always expecting a whole lot more from me, so I could only imagine the women that I would be able to relate to and help along the way. With so many people around me being against me and my entrepreneurial journey, my Faith grew stronger, and blessings started pouring in by the end of 2019. Everything started falling into place, and still to this day more pieces to my puzzle are coming together. I am a Licensed Life Insurance agent, helping individuals learn how to create generational wealth to give their children something that we didn’t have by helping them protect their families through affordable Life insurance and Investment, to build 6-figure retirement accounts outside of a job & create 6-figure income. I am also the Founder of brand and Podcast Livin’ Stellar, which is a name I came up with in 2017 working a dead-end job in West Dallas. I’m also an aspiring Keynote speaker, Self-development coach and model because one thing I learned throughout my journey is that my story/testimony is someone else’s roadmap. What I have survived through, there is somebody out there that feels like they won’t make it. I said in the beginning I never felt like home anywhere, but this space that I am in with the few family members and friends that I’m surrounded by now, by the Grace of God it feels like home for me. God has healed and restored me in ways I can’t explain. The best thing is, I didn’t have to get revenge on nobody and I have gracefully forgiven everyone that has hurt me in anyway. Which is how I remain blessed. I’m now being coached daily by Millionaire coaches who has paved the way for everyday people like me who once didn’t know what else was possible in this world outside of a deadend job that had me feeling like I was going in circles of depression because it was never enough. My goal is to give hope to those women/mothers who’s battling past trauma, who don’t know or don’t believe what’s possible. Even if I can change one woman’s life, I served a person because that one woman could go change 10,000 lives. Don’t let your story destroy you. Take time to heal, get the help you need and use that story. Let your story build you up and impact this world in whatever way you see fit!
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
It has not been a smooth road at all. In fact, I’m glad that it wasn’t because you can’t build strength without struggle. Like if everything went your way, how would you know what to do when it finally doesn’t. If you always had support, how would you know how to persevere when you don’t get that support that one time or whatever. I used to have to drop my daughter off at school early before the doors even opened just to get to work on time. Then most of the time, I had to leave work early to pick her up from school on time. I didn’t need no pat on the back for doing that because I was only doing what a mother had to do until my situation got better. Not having support, people talking down on me, and my plans like I was nothing gave me endurance that I couldn’t even imagine before because that was proof that it was some power in my vision and I couldn’t be stopped. By 2019, after being fired from my last job working for Facebook, I was now a full time entrepreneur. I felt like God was saying “Ok Stella, you prayed for this. Show me what you got!” I laugh at that too because I wasn’t financially prepared but I was up for the challenge because I was already depending on the wrong people to come and save me. Then lost so much so in my eyes, I had nothing else to lose. God is my savior. It was time to depend on God. So from then until this day I’ve been thriving and getting better by the day. There wasn’t always happy days but every day I had a smile on my face because I knew one day all the obstacles would be behind me. Then on the next level, it would be new obstacles for me to just step over. Having the setbacks and unnecessary drama help me understand that most people don’t want you to make it. Most will team up to bring you down before they team up to build you up. It’s true when they say “People want to see you do good, just never better than them!” Crazy but inspiring for me. I had more friends and more people around me when I was at my lowest but when I started reaching my full potential, I suddenly became a problem or as they called it “lazy” because I found entrepreneurship as my way out of poverty and they just wanted me to struggle at a job so they could have something to relate to. I understand now though, when that’s all you know, then most will place their beliefs or fears on you. This is why you have to have control of your mind. Your mind is the most powerful thing God could have given us. So when you operate like you have control of your own mind and do what’s fulfilling for you, you may be looked down upon until you’re looked up to. That’s the world we live in but you have to push pass that pain and push through. I pray for those people because I do this for my daughter, so she can know that she controls her destiny but it’s never too late for anybody to bring a vision to life. There will never not obstacles, I’m just grateful that I have the heart to never give up.
Thanks – so, what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I specialize in financial services. I didn’t choose this industry, this industry chose me when a coach that I’ve prayed for reached out to me. I tell anybody as I continue to grow, know what you need so you can know what to pray for if that’s what you believe to do because it will eventually come. When you least expect it but in perfect timing. Although we learn something new every day, What I love about what I do is being able to help bring more of our people into the light about keeping their families protected and increasing their income to have financial security. People say “life by life-ing” majority of the time, it’s because our finances are not looking good. When you can be real with yourself and admit that, then that’s when your life will begin to change. You will start understanding that it’s ok to take advantage of an opportunity UNAPOLOGETICALLY and change your situation confidently without shame. Everybody is going through something but not everybody wants a solution. I’ve been to many fish fries and contributed to families so that they can bury their family members but I’m grateful that I committed myself to getting my State Life insurance License. At first I was just an entrepreneur that was trying to create a little extra money but being a Life Insurance representative, being able to help more families become protected with affordable life insurance. I shouldn’t be attending anymore fish fry events and seeing less go fund me accounts because now I’m committed to helping more families stay protected and when the business opportunity is something that those individuals can honestly say they’re interested in and ready for, I’m here to help them get their State license which is paid for. After that I am surrounded and connected to the perfect coaches that will help them get to their next level too. Since money was something that wasn’t talked about for most of us growing up, we try avoiding the money conversations but there’s nothing to avoid when money is like oxygen. You need it for everything. It’s 60% of Americans that’s living paycheck to paycheck and have less than $1,000 in their bank account for an emergency. Once I realized I was in that category with the people around me, I knew it was time to change my circle and in my mind. So becoming an entrepreneur was a no-brainer for me. I’m known for being an entrepreneur but it’s not for the weak. Entrepreneurship builds you up in a way mentally, spiritually and financially that a job could never unless you have a career. I’m also not knocking a job because you have to do what you have to do but if we’re being honest, most of us have been lost just trying to find our way to financial security/stability because a job isn’t enough. That’s why getting my State Life insurance license after 7 years of being an entrepreneur became so important for me because the financial services industry has created more millionaires than any other industry and with the Millionaire business coaches that I have, you can’t fail if you’re coachable and willing to put the time into learning. Behind every trying student, there’s a great and successful coach with a passion to helping that student reach success and their fullest potential. I want more of us to believe that it’s possible for us too. I feel like there are people that each of us are meant to impact while we’re here on this earth. Certain people hear you differently, especially people like me from hood/projects areas of the world and I’m proud to say that I gained the wisdom & experience and still growing the knowledge to help more people get to that desired life. I just don’t believe that I was put on this earth to just pay bills and die. What sets me apart is, I get paid to be me and still grow gracefully into my best self. I refuse to settle for a life that was just given to me or a life that people want me to live just to keep them comfortable so that they won’t feel bad about not doing more in their own life. I’ve been able to borrow the belief of coaches over the years and the ones I currently have now. That alone has been golden for me because I didn’t have role models growing up. I watched many through social media, through coaching calls, or seminars that I’ve invested in just to learn and be in the environment. Many of them don’t even know me but they showed me that it doesn’t matter what people have to say about you because people will ALWAYS have something to say. You just have to be ok with being a beginner and get started where you are. It will never be a right time, you have to make the time right. It’s all about what you have to say about you, so more than anything working on a positive mindset and being in a positive environment where value is being added to you instead of taken from you, will get you further than you can imagine. Which is where the Livin Stellar brand and podcast comes in. I started my 1st season of the podcast in 2022 and will be launching my 2nd season by Fall of 2023. I share my raw and real self-development experiences with my audience because I know I used to think nothing major was possible for me, because of all of the embarrassing situations and mistakes I’ve made so I want to change that belief for another individual, especially women/single mothers that’s out there and feel alone because of the opinions, trauma, or negative titles that may have been thrown on her. We don’t have to live through the stories someone gave us. Hitting rock bottom is your perfect opportunity to recreate your story, your way! That person, that woman, or that mother needs to know that greatness is still in her, no matter what they did to you, no matter whether you hear that apology or not…. That power is still in you! & if I can be the one to help her see it in her then I will be an advocate and continue to show what’s possible. I’m not where I want to be yet but I’m so proud of how far I’ve come and the lives I’ve been able to impact & inspire thus far. This is just the beginning for me though. The growth is in the journey and I want to continue being an example that no matter where you come from, what you have been through or what you have to go through, just never give up. There’s something very rewarding on the other side of all that pain you’ve experienced and there’s something very rewarding on the other side of those things that you don’t want to do or don’t think you can do. Make the necessary sacrifices and don’t be afraid to get around people that’s smarter and more experienced than you because that’s how you learn to get to your next level. If you stay around people that’s familiar to you, your life, those struggles, and that pain will stay familiar and you’ll keep experiencing it until you get tired of being sick and tired and boldly make the changes with only having to look back to see how far you’ve came.
Risk-taking is a topic that people have widely differing views on – we’d love to hear your thoughts.
Well…. The way I see it, life is a risk within itself. Driving a car, flying on a plane, riding in an Uber/Lyft, and even depending on a job that you solely depend on to pay you so you can take care of your family. Shoot even getting in a relationship with the one you love, that you think you will grow with and be with forever, is a risk because things change, people change or most people don’t grow at all. Then it all becomes uncomfortable and now you have to change. That’s a risk as well, that’s why most don’t change. Fear of the unknown. It’s ALL a risk though. I do consider myself as a risk-tasker. Depending on a job was the biggest risk for me, especially since I was fired from a job that I was almost on my 4-year mark with, in one of the worst times of my life when my daughter had that brain surgery at 4 years old. Many would probably say investing their money is a bigger risk, because you may not get the return on your investment that you expect right away. Which I thought since I was seeing successful people and I was investing like them that I would make a quick 6-figures. So funny but I realized you have to actually believe it in your mind first. Which takes developing because when you have been doubted all your life, you have to move different and begin to build yourself up in only a way that you know you needed. So it was a risk to stop going out partying, drinking, and smoking because I was coping with life for so long I didn’t realize the things that were truly distracting me. Even dating had to stop because I kept running into men who just didn’t care to understand so it was just another distraction. So taking those risk to break what society sees as normal for people like me was big because I knew it was come with loss of friends and people who looked down on me because they thought I was acting as if I was better than anybody. When actually I had only been proving to myself that I was better than those things but in the end, letting those things go has been so essential for my growth and was still worth it. When I started investing in self-development & financial literacy, I realized that type of education is a major investment for somebody like me that didn’t attend college fully. Risk-taking depends on your mindset and the perspective you see in whatever you may be taking a risk in. Any risk we take will definitely come with unpleasant surprises, always! Whether good or bad. There’s no way around it because it’s life. That’s why learning the necessary lessons as you go through different obstacles are important because there will never not be unpleasant surprises. Like when people say, “it’s always something”. Yes, it is always something, and it always will be, but that’s why building a positive mindset is essential. Your mindset is what will make the difference in how you react to whatever outcome. Taking risks does not have to be as bad per se; sometimes, you just have to change the perspective of the way you’re looking at the risk and know what outcome you’re looking for. If you know it’s not worth the risk then don’t you ever be afraid to change directions. What’s for you, will always be for you. When you learn and believe that, you are officially out of survival mode and in vision mode. So let’s live…. The Stellar way!
Pricing:
- $124
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/iam_stellad?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Stella.ChangedWoman.Duff?mibextid=LQQJ4d
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/thestellad?s=21&t=5ZqwVpYGPFpNXRDFbxzy8w
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thestellad132
Image Credits
Lostboy & Brenden Williams
Rhegan Thornton
