Today we’d like to introduce you to Kylie Cross
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I hit my rock bottom the spring of 2016. We had just moved out of state and everything I knew about my life changed. I was a stay at home mom to 2 amazing kids and had been married 10 years to a man I loved. I wanted to stay married and a stay at home mom but I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being overwhelmed in resentment, bitterness, and regret! I felt alone, I lacked purpose, and felt numb to my world around me. I felt shame for not finding more purpose and joy in this life that I chose. How could I be so ungrateful when I got exactly what I had wanted? All the effort I was putting in to fix my marriage and my life wasn’t working. Nothing was getting better. I was out of Ideas, energy, and resources. That’s when I was invited to attend a transformational coaching workshop that ended up giving me the tools needed to get my life back. My first major transformation was definitely becoming a Christian 13 years prior but somehow because of my mindsets and my limiting beliefs about God and myself and my value I couldn’t see the box I had put God in or the box I had put myself in. I walked away from that weekend being able to clearly see that I am who God says I am, Loved, valuable, free to create a life fully engaged using the talents and abilities he gave me. I realized that most of my life I was demanding to live it small so I could be safe! I was living it small so I wouldnt make mistakes. I left that weekend believing full heartedly that I was going to become someone who could do hard things. I was no longer going to chase comfort. I was able to rechoose my marriage, rechoose motherhood, and rechoose life. I was open to the possibility that I was needed in my world, I had something to offer, and that I was going to go after things that were worth failing over, worth risking, worth the reward of being alive!
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
I had to overcome so many limiting beliefs. One of them was that I was an authority pleaser. What’s the difference between an authority pleaser and a people pleaser you might be asking? Well to me a people pleaser fears conflict and is trying to make everyone happy. An authority pleaser is someone who says to someone else who makes decisions ( ie: Parents, teachers, legal authorities, boss, husband, religious leaders, mentors etc) “if your happy with me, Im happy with me?” “What do you think is best, what do you want me to do, how can I help you”
I didnt realize how much I had willingly, intentionally handed my life over to others. I didnt have my own dreams, I didnt take personal responsability for my life and my choices. By doing this it allowed me to feel safe and if things didnt go well than it wasnt my fault. I was just doing it your way.
But playing it safe and unresponsible in this way lead directly to my feelings of resentment, bitterness, and especially victimhood.
I also was chasing after comfort. I significanly undervalued effort, excellence, doing your best and was constantly settling for “good enough” or the bare minimum.
I became committed to not allowing myself to say no or not go after something just because it was new, hard, risky or challenging.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
All of this between my childhood, my breaking point and my life after has all lead me to this moment of becoming a life coach. I have always enjoyed and loved being with people, helping people, serving people, and being the biggest cheerleader to help them become all they were designed to do. My sister helped me come up with the title of Beyond the Walls which I think is a beautiful description of the intent of the coaching and podcast. When we can break free from our self imposed prisons then we can be truly free. After going beyond my own walls I can now serve and help women out of my own personal value, out of my own strength and security instead of my lack and fear. I work with women who feel stuck and trapped just like I was. My desire is to help as many women as possible to take back their life, Own there choices, live life boldly and confidently because they have purpose and value and talents that only they can give to the world around us. When we are fully engaged in the life around us then we can find true purpose and Joy.
On my podcast I share my personal life lessons and regularly have guests who have their own stories of overcoming and being able to Go Beyond their walls too.
What were you like growing up?
I moved a ton my whole life. I loved it, I loved big changes, new adventures and meeting new people. But unfortunately for me it also allowed me to stay hidden. To only allow people in to a certain degree because I learned early on that relationships don’t last. They will end one way or another. With this kind of mindset it significantly hindered my ability to resolve conflict and be vulnerable with myself and others. I was always one foot out ready to move on to the next phase, next school, next group of friends. But as I became a Christian at 19 my heart began to soften and to be willing to take on a new desire for vulnerability, honesty, and true connection with my community. I began to face my own fears and emotions and be willing to let others along for the journey. I still had so much to learn and be refined in but even at that first spark of facing my fears it was worth everything.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.beyondthewallspodcast.com
- Instagram: beyondthewalls.podcast
