We’re looking forward to introducing you to Courtney Istre. Check out our conversation below.
Courtney, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: Are you walking a path—or wandering?
I feel like I am set down the path before me, and I sometimes find myself wandering off course, only to be brought back after a bit. The best comparison I can make is that it can range from browsing some flowers a few feet away to taking myself off into the woods entirely. However, I feel that either the path finds its way to me, or I somehow end up back on it. It took a while to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, and that concept is constantly evolving. However, there is a core focus that the rest tends to revolve around. It’s the unmovable center at the core of my being. The rest flows in and out, or contributes to that focus in some way. I find it hard to fully explain to others, but I feel like that’s the best way to put it.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Courtney Istre, and I have been a musician for the past 5 years. I’ve officially changed my artist name to “istre” as I feel it fits an indie/alternative concept I’m working towards. As those genres have always been what I’ve gravitated towards. I’ve also recently started teaching yoga as a side hustle at my friend’s Day Spa & Wellness Center. I have also been working on various crochet and pottery projects that I hope to start selling.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
Before I figured out who I wanted to be, I was constantly molding myself into who I thought everyone wanted me to be. At my core, I’ve always been an artist. However, like so many others, I was told that being an artist isn’t a way to support myself. There was this unwritten rule that I needed to go to college, move out, get a job, and then figure out the rest. But, that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to travel the world, to create, and to connect with others. Once I figured out what I really wanted and how to achieve my goals, I moved from what was expected of me and started doing things that made me excited to get up in the morning. That didn’t come without sacrifice, and it still means consciously making decisions that I might not always like.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
There came this breaking point in my life, in which I was tired of being angry. I looked in the mirror and realized that so many years had passed, and all I could recall was being sad or angry. All the times I cried or threw something, or just sat in silence. I didn’t want to be miserable anymore. I thought, at one time, it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t, but I also realized that I had allowed myself to be hurt, in a way. I kept scratching at my scabs, instead of putting on ointment, and letting them scar over. It doesn’t seem that simple, and it really isn’t, but for me, I can best explain it like I woke up one day and decided to live my life. I walked out of class early, called into work, and wrote in a journal what I wanted from myself in the coming years. From there, I played guitar until my fingers bled, sang until my throat wouldn’t let me speak the following day, and then took my first trip alone. It was only then that I thought it paid off, even just a little. Music was a way for me to express myself and my pain. It was when I started seeing people share that with me that I realized I had this power within myself. It had been building, and it was always there, but I had finally seen something in myself that I had never really seen before. Believe me, the scar itches now and again, but I can’t help but feel sorry for who I was in the past. They were so hurt, they couldn’t see it. Now, I try to share my pain and my journey in the hopes it helps someone else wake up, look in the mirror, and decide to live.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Is the public version of you the real you?
I feel like the public version of myself is forced, but it’s still me. As a performer, I’m paid to make connections with audiences and entertain. To some extent, every performance is that, a performance. However, I try to keep everything I do genuine and real. I’m never someone who’s going to lie or pretend to be someone I’m not. I spent enough time doing that when I was still trying to have a “normal” life. It’s more like I force myself to be an extrovert and share parts of my life with others. I’m normally a little more shy and keep to myself. Also, I tend to be a homebody. But, being in the entertainment industry, I’ve had to force myself to get out there and talk to people. In order to make people want to connect with you, you have to be able to share that connection. Many performers get that wrong. They think there has to be this wall between them and their audience, when there doesn’t need to be. There’s a difference between boundaries and faking it. The only times you’ll catch me faking it is when I’m pretending it’s not too cold to be outside, or that I’m happy when I’m a little sad. It’s all real, but then again, even if I say that, will people believe it?
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. When do you feel most at peace?
It’s hard to say, as sometimes I feel peace in places I find discomfort in. Sometimes it’s the other way around. When I’m at pottery class, and I reach an artistic flow, when I’m dancing to choreography, and it’s making me feel and look good, when I’m singing a song I connect with, and others are connecting too. I could go on. Lately, it’s usually when I’m trying something new. I spent the summer backpacking through Europe, and I’ve done my fair share of travel. But even locally, this is the case. When I’m playing somewhere, and there’s a new coffee place, I find this sense of adventure. This freedom in the unknown is where I find comfort. The unknown is scary and intimidating. It sometimes makes me so nervous that I want to throw up. However, it’s the sense of discovery that I find peace in. The discovery in connection with people, a place, or a song that is most comforting to me.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.istremusic.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/istre_music
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/istremusic/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@istre_music
