Conversations with Mary Harper

Today we’d like to introduce you to Mary Harper.

Hi Mary, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I was born in Denver, Colorado, and raised in St. Louis, Missouri, in a deeply faith-centered household. My father pastored for more than forty years and later became a bishop, and my mother served faithfully as a First Lady and evangelist. Growing up in the Church of God in Christ shaped my spiritual foundation and instilled in me a lifelong commitment to service. I am the fifth of six children and the proud mother of one daughter.

Behind that upbringing, however, was a truth I carried quietly for decades. At eight years old, I was raped by a young man who attended my church. At an early age I knew that if I told anyone, especially my father I would grow up without a dad. So at a young age, I made a very grown up decision to keep that secret to protect my father. I held that secret for forty years, carrying its weight in silence. Living with that burden day after day. The consequences of keeping that secret where that throughout the years I was often forced to share the same space with the person who assaulted me. As an adult, and now a mother myself, I would absolutely dread the times when my assailant was in the same space as my daughter. His presence in my place of worship often paralyzed me with anger, anxiety and fear for my daughter. So I ultimately made the decision to leave St. Louis in search of safety, healing, and a new beginning.

In May 2012, my daughter and I relocated to Texas knowing no one—no family, no friends—just faith and determination. That season became what I now call my faith journey, when my relationship with God deepened and sustained me.

In August 2015, I met my now ex-husband Darren. We married in April 2016. At the time, I believed he was the love of my life. Through our marriage, I gained two beautiful daughters and three grandchildren, and for a season, we felt like a complete family.

That same year, Pay It 4-ward Projects was born. I’ve often shared the story of how Pay It Forward projects started on accident! This particular year I fixed Christmas dinner for friends. There was so much food that somehow we forgot the turkey that was in the oven to stay warm. At the end of the evening once everyone had packed there to go plates my girlfriend yelled out, hey what’s up with this turkey in the oven? At that point I realized that I had so much food that I had forgotten to take the turkey out. So we decided to carve it up and make turkey sandwiches. My friends agreed to come back the next day bringing bags of potato chips, Hostess Cakes and bottled water. From that turkey we were able to make 76 Brown Bag lunches for the unsheltered. The feeling of serving the less fortunate in our community was so overwhelming and humbling that we decided we wanted to do it again the next year. We thought, if we could feed 76 people on accident how much more could we do with intent? So we purposed in our hearts to return the next year with the commitment to double the amount that we had served and from there our efforts grew into a movement across the Dallas–Fort Worth area—launching Tiffany’s Heart for the unsheltered, Sharon’s Rose for families, and Young Survivors Camp for youth. Over time, that work expanded into the Inspiring Women’s Award Gala, The Inspire Project Women’s Empowerment Network, and my podcast, Sistah 2 Sistah: Coffee and Conversations.

In November 2019, Darren’s relapse into substance abuse marked the beginning of what I often refer to as “the beginning of my Job experience”—a period when personal trauma, professional pressure, and survival collided and my faith and commitment to God were tested. As the home environment became mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive, protecting my child became my priority. I made the painful decision to leave, and in February 2021 our divorce was finalized. In the aftermath, I lost not only my marriage but the family I had grown to love.

After the decline of my marriage I was hit with devastating loss back to back. My mother was diagnosed with dementia right before my divorce was final and 2021. She passed away in August 2022, and in February 2023 my father died from what some no as broken heart syndrome. When a person passes away from what is colloquially known as “broken heart syndrome,” the medical cause of death is typically listed under terms like Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, stress-induced cardiomyopathy, or stress cardiomyopathy. He passed away exactly one month after I finally shared with him what happened to me as a child.
After his passing, I chose to stop carrying my story alone. I began sharing my truth publicly and became part of the nonprofit organization Speak Our Truth, founded by Delashawn Bordeaux, which supports victims of assault in being transparent about their sexual abuse experiences.

Today, what began with one forgotten turkey—and one long-kept secret—has become a life devoted to healing, advocacy, faith, and service.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
It has not been smooth.
I have experienced a lot of growing pains as a person , as a businesswoman , as an entrepreneur and as a community partner . My faith has been tested, my commitment to service and Ministry has been tested , I’ve had to endure Health crises, which included life long side effects of being diagnosed with covid long haulers syndrome, which has included repeated episodes of Bell’s palsy and petite mom seizures just to name a few. Somehow I managed to keep showing up in the midst of a season marked by cascading hardship. I navigated domestic abuse, the collapse of my marriage, professional instability, and profound grief—all while continuing to run a nonprofit organization and serve my community.

During this same period, I experienced homelessness twice.

Layered onto that grief was the emotional toll of finally disclosing decades-old childhood trauma, first to my father shortly before his death and then publicly afterward.

These experiences tested my faith, finances, emotional endurance, and physical health. Yet they also deepened my empathy, strengthened my leadership, and sharpened my resolve to advocate for survivors and underserved communities.

My professional life has always been mission-driven, but it was forged most intensely during crisis.

While navigating abuse, homelessness, and devastating personal loss, I continued leading Pay It 4-ward Projects—coordinating volunteers, organizing outreach events, securing donations, mentoring youth, and expanding programs for women and families.

Those seasons shaped me into a trauma-informed leader with strong operational discipline and a deep understanding of the systems that either protect people—or allow them to fall through the cracks.

I have learned to lead with compassion while maintaining structure, to build organizations while rebuilding myself, and to turn lived experience into effective advocacy.

My career is defined less by titles and more by impact—by the lives touched, the conversations opened, and the communities strengthened through sustained service.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I pride myself on being a connector in the community. Currently I host the DFW Non-profit Roundtable that allows various nonprofit organizations that serve throughout the DFW metroplex to come together for opportunities to learn, grow, connect and collaborate. Through the Inspiring Women’s Award Gala I have the awesome privilege of highlighting ordinary women who are doing extraordinary things in the community, which brings awareness to their efforts and the impact that they have on the communities that they serve. I also have the privilege of serving as director of Pay It Forward projects, a non-profit organization that has provided resources to the unsheltered and low-income families throughout the DFW metroplex for the past 10 years.

What matters most to you? Why?
What matters most to me is faith, truth, dignity, and legacy.

Faith sustained me when everything else collapsed. Truth freed me after forty years of silence. Dignity guides how I serve people who are hurting, displaced, or overlooked. Legacy drives my work—to ensure my daughter and future generations understand that trauma does not get the final word.

Having lived through childhood abuse, domestic violence, profound loss, homelessness, and professional upheaval, I am committed to building spaces where people feel safe enough to speak, strong enough to heal, and supported enough to rebuild.

My life’s work is about transforming pain into purpose—and silence into systems of support.

Contact Info:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tish.harper.92/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@QueenSpaceConvo