Meet Trailblazer Melody Akhavan Abbey

Today we’d like to introduce you to Melody Akhavan Abbey.

Melody, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I grew up on the East Coast as a child of immigrants and had a pretty narrow view of success for many years until really finding myself in my early 30s. If you had told me a decade ago, that I would leave corporate law practice and end up as a mom who writes on the side, I’m not sure I would’ve believed you! But the past several years have led to a beautiful self-discovery for which I’m grateful.

So, how did I get here? I attended the University of Virginia (loved it!) and spent three years after graduation working in legal environments to decide whether a law would be a good career path for me. I ultimately decided to start at The University of Virginia School of Law. For many years after that, I was on a pretty focused professional trajectory.

UVA Law was an incredible experience and exposed me to some of the best legal thinkers in the world. I eventually took a job at a big corporate law firm in NYC. Even though I felt like corporate litigation was a good fit for me intellectually, it was a tough few years marked by long hours, ruined weekends, holidays, and vacations, and dealing with some very difficult personalities. Working in BigLaw, as it’s known, isn’t for the faint of heart.

After I got married and my husband finished his medical training, we decided to make Dallas our permanent home, and I decided to leave corporate law. I worked for a legal non-profit until I had my son in 2016 and then spent the first year of his life exclusively focused on being a mom.

A few months ago, I started searching for a professional outlet that would allow me to analyze and write, grant me flexibility, and give me a chance to connect with others. I was inspired to start my blog, From City to Suburbia, which discusses my evolving priorities and the perspectives I’ve gained from my experiences as a woman, professional, and a mom. I haven’t looked back since!

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Achieving anything at a high level, in any career is a challenge. It requires vision, time, and sacrifice. And of course, if you’re a young woman in a traditionally male-dominated field, you will likely be faced with people underestimating and undervaluing you, and sometimes, treating you badly. But this isn’t new to anybody.

In hindsight, one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced has been internal, rather than the external factors one might expect. I’ve had a hard time being honest with myself about what my values really are and where my talents are best used. It’s so easy to get swept up in a career and only realize ten years down the road that you’re probably better suited for something else. It’s hard to step away from a path like law when you’ve invested so much into it for so long and have achieved substantial success. If you’re doing well, why wouldn’t you keep going?

My best advice to everyone starting out would be to really reflect on who you are, who you want to be, and what kind of impact you’d like to leave on the world.

Knowing yourself takes work and being yourself takes courage. If you’re armed with self-awareness, it will help you make authentic choices all the way down the line. And, most importantly, knowing your values is essential in coming up with your own definition of success.

Since I became a mom and decided for sure that I didn’t want to return to law practice, it was hard letting go of the image of success I had kept in my mind for so long. But I’ve had to be honest with myself about what my priorities are. And I strongly feel that working on From City to Suburbia is exactly what I need to be doing right now. It allows me to devote the amount of time I wish to raise my child, while also giving me a creative, intellectual, and social outlet.

Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about From City to Suburbia – what should we know?
I used to be known as a litigator specializing in high-stakes class action defense. I spent years developing expertise in that field, and you’ll still find some of my published legal articles online. But now, I’m very proud to be known as a writer, blogger, and mother!

From City to Suburbia is about so many things, but mostly about the idea of transition. I discuss — extremely openly and honestly — my evolving views on parenthood, professional challenges, identity shifts, and other topics that most people (not just moms) can relate to.

Some of my recent posts discuss why I decided to become a stay-at-home mom, what I miss about my life as a corporate lawyer and things to consider if you’re ambivalent about having kids. There are also more light-hearted essays about things like strategies for managing stress and making new friends as an adult.

Overall, I’ve tried to create a community where people can explore alternative views of success. I write the things that most people are afraid to. It’s a very vulnerable space, and one that I wish existed a few years ago when I was trying to figure out my own life.

Even though my blog is still pretty new, I feel so lucky that it’s given me the opportunity to connect with others. The last decade of my life has been full of challenges and choices that have forced me to take a hard look at who I am and who I wish to become. What I’ve gone through has also helped me develop a great deal of compassion and empathy for people facing difficult situations in their personal and professional lives. From City to Suburbia has given me a platform to reflect on that personal growth and turn it into meaningful connections.

What I’m proudest of is the fact that I’ve been getting long, personal messages from strangers telling me that my essays have hit a nerve with them and have offered them clarity and comfort while navigating some tricky transitions. It’s the best feeling!

Do you recommend any apps, books or podcasts that have been helpful to you?
I’m a huge fan of podcasts and listen to them every day when I’m driving and running errands. My favorite right now is NPR’s Hidden Brain. It keeps me sharp. I’m also inspired by Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations. Many of her guests share really wise ways to reframe your thinking on hardship and difficulties.

But I get the most inspiration from my friends! They come from diverse backgrounds and offer varying perspectives on the same situations. They challenge my thinking, help me see my blind spots, and often inspire my blog posts. I don’t know where I’d be without them!

Contact Info:

• Website: fromcitytosuburbia.com
• Email: fromcitytosuburbia@gmail.com
• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/fromcitytosuburbia/
• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fromcitytosuburbia/

Image Credit:
Megan Weaver Photography, A Sea of Love Photography, Tenth & Grace Photography

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