Today we’d like to introduce you to Carmen Cruz.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Carmen. So, let’s start at the beginning, and we can move on from there.
I am a woman. I am Cuban American. I am gay. I am a psychologist. I am an activist. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I have dedicated my life to helping people express their authentic selves. I love to life voices, particularly marginalized voices. I was raised in Miami by immigrant parents and grandparents. I moved to Texas in 1997 for a job in Denton, a one year position with Texas Woman’s University and here I am 21 years later. I’m married to an amazing woman from NYC, who already had two amazing children and I have been fortunate enough to be a bonus mom to our kids. I like to say I came at halftime and we won the game with each other! The kids were 7 & 11 and are now 21 & 25.
I am currently the Director of Training at TWU Counseling & Psychological Services and love working with my students. I love what TWU stands for and feel incredibly fortunate to work with such a diverse student body, across various identities. I also created a small business as diversity and social justice consultant and private practitioner. We’ve been trained, cross-culturally, to not have tough conversations across divides; yet these conversations are necessary for our cultures. I love being part of helping people engage from a more vulnerable space and face their fears in speaking the truth.
Initially, I felt like there was a lot of discrimination in Texas, and the pervasiveness of discrimination against the LGBTQ community was something that I thought I could make a difference with. I would have friends ask me “why don’t you go somewhere else where you can enjoy it, and it’s easier?” but I ultimately knew I could make a difference here, and I think it is important to stay in places that want change. I knew there was enough substance in the Denton community and I think because it’s a college town, that it invites more critical thinking to a very traditional place. Denton for me is this juxtaposition of old tradition and forward thinking. I have always felt like everywhere I go I end up telling people “we can do something” and not from a critical place but because I want to change. (https://wedentondoit.com/blog/2015/7/28/people-of-denton-carmen-cruz)
A few years ago, I figured out that the last two letters of pride and the first two letters of Denton made Pridenton! So I engaged with some other community groups and decided to form our first Pride in Denton large event in 2017. It was a tremendous success, and the community feedback was inspiring!! We had our 2nd Pridenton in 2018.
So basically, my story is that I had NO idea I would end up being an activist and influential to others. In 2016, I was asked to provide a commencement address at TWU, and it was definitely one of the pinnacles of my career thus far. I felt so proud knowing how many ancestors needed to work and use their voices to lift someone up to the opportunities I was having in my life. Sometimes it takes a while to catch up to how others see us.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
Ha! Indeed it has not been a smooth road. I believe that most humans face some struggle in achieving their successes. And, at the same time, the more multiple marginalized identities one has, the tougher it can be. In life, it’s tougher when an identity you hold is seen as less valuable within our cultures so the ride may be harder. For me personally, being the child of immigrants was something that was difficult given we did not have a lot of money and struggled. I did not have a roadmap as a first-generation college student, who was competing with others who had parents who both attended college plus had the financial resources to help them. Then coming out in my early 20’s in south FL, in the ’90s was tough. We did not have many role models to look up to or get inspiration from, like many of our peers. But you know, after all the struggle and hardship, there is pride and resilience. Those are the prizes for enduring and continuing to live as authentically as possible in a world that tells you that you don’t belong or should be different. #justdoyou
So my advice would be to search for YOUR true self; what you believe, what you like, what you don’t know. Get to know yourself and love that person. You are the best thing you’ve got, and your relationship warrants the attention you may give other relationships in your life. Once you know yourself better, your relationships are better. We thrive in connection as humans and need to have those important relationships in our lives…including with ourselves. Women are mostly taught to nurture others and leave themselves for last. It’s important to do both…love yourself and love others.
Tell us more about your work.
As a psychologist, I specialize as an adult generalist clinical psychologist. I’ve worked in college mental health as well as criminal justice system mental health. I love working with graduate students and socializing them into the profession. Some other professional interests include training/supervision, the psychology of gender, sexual orientation identity issues, multicultural psychology, cultural/spiritual development, existential theory and the impact of the stigma of psychotherapy.
As for my activist/diversity educator side, I am very proud of the work we’ve done in Denton with OUTreach Denton and Pridenton.
You can see more about me here: https://www.drcarmencruz.com/
For a good reason, society often focuses more on the problems rather than the opportunities that exist, because the problems need to be solved. However, we’d probably also benefit from looking for and recognizing the opportunities that women are better positioned to capitalize on. Have you discovered such opportunities?
I feel that women are well positioned to use skills aimed at communicating with more openness and kindness, particularly in business and government. We are missing a kindness to our political world right now, which is much needed. I also believe women can lead with being vulnerable, which men have been socialized to avoid (not their fault/choice).
“Voice is power, and it’s normal to be afraid to use your voice,” Cruz said, “[but] we have to push through that anxiety, and so sometimes it takes us a while to feel and know our power, as women especially.”
(http://www.thedentonite.com/culture/badass-women/femmes-of-denton)
Contact Info:
- Website: www.drcarmencruz.com
- Email: drcruz63@gmail.com
- Twitter: @drcruz32
Image Credit:
Wesley Kirk, Marshall Bewley
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