Today we’d like to introduce you to Author T.L. Adams.
Author T.L., can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I started writing my book Get Rid of Your Stupid List: Seven Reasons You are Successful and Still Single shortly after my divorce. My journey actually began over nine years when my divorce was final and started dating. I found the dating process hard and I found it even harder starting over. I am a single mom of two children: a 12-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. I was married for six years and we were together for seven years. On our 6th year wedding anniversary on a cruise, I asked him was he happy. His response along with many other things was the cause of the marriage to end. He told me he was not happy and he haven’t been happy the past five years and the only reason he stayed married to me this long was because we had kids together. My heart was broke at that moment! Our divorce was final three months later. I realized at that point that I had spent so much time putting my husband and kids first that I lost myself. Soon after my divorce, I began dating immediately!
That was one of my first mistakes I should have waited and given myself time to heal before I started dating and jumping into relationships.
My Stupid List was created not long after I was divorced. I did not want to make the same mistake twice. So I thought if I had someone educated, had a good job, a good looking guy, someone who has his own everything then I would be happy, money wouldn’t be an issue and they would come to the table with the same thing I did. I realized probably five years into my dating life that I kept making the same mistakes over and over again but expecting different results. That is the definition of insanity! I blamed guys as the reason why I was still single. I was trying to figure why was I still single? I am beautiful, successful, educated, but yet and still I was not able to keep a man around for an extended period of time.
It was not until I evaluated myself, evaluated my choices, and realized that I had to make some changes so I could be successful when it comes to relationships. How can I ever get married if I dismiss every guy that comes my way? I can not. My self-evaluation included me taking responsibility of my bad choices and I realized that guys was not the blame for my singleness. I was! The only person I could blame is myself. I had a lot of potential guys try to be with me but I turned them down. So if I would not have been looking for Mr. Perfect that does not exist; then I would have been re-married a long time ago.
I kept choosing guys for the wrong reasons. Also, My Stupid List eliminated a lot of potential men. I would eliminate good guys just because they did not have education. I realized after five years of doing the wrong things that I needed to do something different to get a different result.
About four years ago, I met someone who I was in a relationship with for almost two years. Chapter 1 of my book is dedicated to him. I discussed how I had to Get Rid of My List, Take the Risk on Love and Give This Guy a true chance. That is exactly what I did. My relationship with this guy has been the longest relationship I have had since my divorce. Through my mistakes and bad choices, I have become more successful when it comes to getting and keeping a man. Although that relationship did not work out, I was able to apply my principles that I discussed in my book and find love once again! I realized a long time ago that no matter how many times I get it wrong; there is always time to get it right. I will never not Take the Risk on Love because of what happened in my past.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
The starting over process with dating over the past nine years have not been a smooth road at all. I learned alot about myself. Some of major struggles is realizing that not every guy is for me and I am not for everyone! When it comes to dating, you have to realize that no one is perfect and I thought for years that I was perfect. My thought process was tainted to the point that when I met guys who were not perfect, looked a certain way, dressed a certain way, and their lifestyle was not a certain way I was not interested. For years I equated happiness and being with the perfect man based on material things and looks. I realized that looks fade and so does material things. Within a month of me getting my divorce final, I lost a job and eight months later I lost another job, my health failed and I almost lost everything I worked so hard to acquire. My world was shook and reality kicked in. It was at this moment when I was at my lowest that I realized what is really important when it comes to relationships. Money and material things was at the bottom of my list. When you are sick and at your lowest point in your life, all you really need is someone who loves you, someone who is supportive, and someone who has your best interest at heart. The most important things when it comes to dating and relationships is being with someone who is loyal, faithful, and that love you. When my thought process changed, so did my success when it came to understanding guys better and being in relationships.
Tyinghearts2gether, LLC – what should we know? What do you do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
I am a Relationship Expert/Consultant and I am also an Author of Get Rid of Your Stupid LIst: Seven Reasons You are Successful and Still Single. I am known for being an Author. I am proud of being an Entrepreneur, an Author, a Change Agent, someone who my kids can look up to and admire.
When it comes to being an Author, a lot of things set me apart than other Authors. To name a few: I use my life story to share, educate, and help others make better choices when it comes to dating and relationships. I have made a lot of bad decisions and I am not afraid to speak on those things. When it comes to speaking your truth, a lot of people shy away from exposing anything negative about themselves; I on the other embrace it. If my mistakes can help other women and men make better choices when it comes to choosing someone, then I have served my purpose. My business was built on the concept of helping those forgive, heal, learn from their bad choices and make better choices. Another thing that sets me apart is that no matter what age you are; you are able to relate to my life and the things that I have been through.
What moment in your career do you look back most fondly on?
One of the proudest moments of my career as an Author is when I had my kids help me sell books at my first vendor’s event. Also, when my kids tell me that they want to be an Author just like me!
- Perfect Bound Softcover $11.99
- E-Book $3.99
- Casebound Hardcover $28.95
- Website: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Rid-Your-Stupid-List/dp/1480844713
- Phone: 6824336002
- Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/author_t.l._adams/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authortladams/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/author_adams?lang=en
- Other: https://youtu.be/APhJ8h30-EU