Today we’d like to introduce you to Fabian Rafael Marin.
So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
It’s called humble pie, and over the years it has become a meal I have grown to appreciate more and more. Granted there is an acquired taste attached to it, with nuances, details, context, and situations contributing to how pleasant or unpleasant it can be. But over time, I’ve realized that there is no other meal that supplies as much growth and sustenance, as one that allows you to reevaluate your circumstances and character.
There is also this thing called “personality”, that somewhere along the way I was able to not only develop, but feel comfortable enough to share it with others; more importantly than that, I’ve been gifted and blessed with others feeling comfortable enough to share it with me. I learned that being “likable” doesn’t always translate into being liked and that not being likable doesn’t always translate into not being liked. Now, this isn’t to say that being liked by others is the end-all of this industry, but it sure helps. Rather, more importantly, it means that if you are honest about who you are as a person and work on the things (which I have many to continue to work on) that make you great at what you do and who you are, the rest of what you want to achieve will make itself more present and available to you.
I’ve also learned that embracing the experience, especially as a bartender, and even more so in the craft cocktail field of bartending, gives you the opportunity to develop the most important thing we are here to improve upon and have: the human experience. There is no way that I would be able to develop into who I am and what I enjoy doing behind the bar with all the constraints that are sometimes present in other positions or locations/concepts in the hospitality industry. Now, that isn’t to say that you can be all over the place and just endlessly being an asshole to every Tom, Dick, Regina, and Sally that make their way into the bar; but if their experience at your location would of been exactly the same had you not been there, then go ahead and start installing robots behind the bar. Creating an experience that goes beyond the physical consumption of a cocktail or a meal is the whole point of going out; of REALLY going out. People, in my opinion, are not always in search of the same exact thing they can have and do at home, especially when they walk into a cocktail bar. AND that doesn’t stop with the drinks. It starts with a “howdy” and ends with them saying “we will definitely be back here soon”. A recipe is a recipe, is a recipe. And granted some of them are extra difficult to execute and deliver in a way that is rare to achieve; but I can guarantee that almost every time it is delivered without a human experience and interaction it WILL ALWAYS FALL FLAT. Being able to have real relationships with people and evoking real human responses and experiences is something that actually came more naturally than I expected, but was developed by people and places I wasn’t always expecting it to come from. And THAT is the key.
I remember working for Bryan Voltaggio at RANGE just on the border of Washington, D.C., and being given the most support AND push back on any and every topic imaginable. I was privileged to work directly under his Beverage Director, Dane Nakamura, and his amazing wife Kathryn Nakamura – who has an extensive background as a pastry chef as well as functioning as the bar manager at the time – and learning to apply a very unique “food-on-plate” approach to cocktails and their creation. Kathryn actually poached me from the bar I was working behind when she came in and took a seat and met with a potential private event client. I had just recovered from terminal cancer (yes, I am aware of the oxymoron and contradiction present in that statement, but we can get to that later) and was ready to really dig back into the passion of creating cocktails and not just pumping out a cookie-cutter liquid in a glass.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
I was told once that “the road is as smooth as the work your willing to put into it”. What does that even mean?
Well, it means that there really is no such thing as a smooth road ahead of you. It’s filled with dirt, hills, rivers, ditches, and every other kind of obstacle possible. But, its YOUR responsibility, in YOUR life, whether you see them or not, to accept the difficulties ahead of you and do your part to contribute to clearing that dirt, climbing/flattening those hills, building a bridge over or finding a way to cross those rivers, and to be the person that doesn’t walk by a ditch that could be harmful to others and fill it in properly. That’s a lifelong lesson right there that often isn’t learned or applied quickly enough in 10 lifetimes.
Lucky for me, I’ve been able to beat the life-taking battles and moments and am actively living on what is (at the VERY LEAST) my second life in the same body. September 2015, I admitted myself to the ER after no longer being able to tolerate the pain in my chest, through my shoulder, and all the way down to my fingers. The pain that felt as though someone had been dragging the sharp end of a blade up and down the nerves inside of me; starting at my right shoulder blade through my chest, all the way down to my pinkie, and back again. I got a flash of the pain for nothing more than 15 seconds after leaving the gym late one evening in San Diego, CA.; really thought nothing of it. Figured it was nothing more than a pinched nerve and I just moved my arms around and stretched them out. Just like that, I was under the impression for the next seven months. But, gradually, inconspicuously, it returned for shortly longer stays and greater frequency. The next time was about a month later for maybe 25 seconds, then three weeks later for 45 seconds, then three more later weeks for 2 minutes. Nothing intolerable.
Hell, I thought to myself, guess this is just the reality of me not being an immortal 24 years old that didn’t experience any real aches or pains or twinges, and at least not more than once. Truth is, I was at least half right about both of those things. Not being 24 and NOT being immortal. Haha. Eventually, July and August rolled around but the pain hadn’t rolled out; it was way deeper. I took myself to my GP at the time and got prescribed some pain management pills (Glorified Ibuprofen). Somewhere in all of it, my contact with my GP stopped before I admitted myself. I woke up, as most people do after they sleep, to find myself witness to what came to be an absolutely immeasurable weight, pressure, and discomfort down my entire right side. I called work and informed them I would not be able to make it in that evening. I dragged the entire right side of my body to the car and drove the 5 miles to the hospital. Luckily I informed the front desk that I was experiencing chest pain (which I was) in addition to the pain in my arm and they expedited my treatment through triage.
Time passed, as it does, in the most slowly detailed way in such a hurry. Motions and actions speedily moved in a blur until it was time to have a scan in radiology. That’s where I knew, without a word, without a sound, but with every sound of disappointment that could be made on the face of another human being. You see, there’s a moment when you’re being scanned that you get to have eye contact through a well-polished, crystal clear. sound-proof-window into the office of the individual(s) conducting your scan. And, in that moment, if the scan is as it was for me, you get to hear every heart-wrenching emotion through the sound of silence in the face and eyes of another. I lived that moment right then, right there. I knew this wasn’t going to go away with a simple treatment. My head dropped, my eyes rolled, a smirk made its way across my face, and somehow ego or pride or arrogance, which was probably masking denial, sneakily made its way inside my mind.
CANCER.
“Mr. Marin, it appears that there is a mass occupying the space in-between your heart and lungs approximately 5cm, or that of a lime. We don’t actually know what it is and are going recommend you be seen by an Oncologist. It’s likely that it is pressing against a nerve and causing all your discomfort. I apologize to learn of you going through this, as I am sure that it is all a lot to come to terms with. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Until then, for now, we are going to place you on something more effective in dulling the pain you are experiencing, morphine.”
Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip
Biopsy. Neurontin to dull the signal being sent through your nerves. Choice of immediate surgery to remove the mass or chemotherapy. Chemotherapy it is if only to kill the cancer inside my body as much as possible before opening up my chest plate and carving it out. Biopsy came back: Non-Seminomatous Extra-gonadal Germ Cell tumor located in my anterior mediastinum. (You get well versed in medical terminology and practices when things like this arise, or at least, I got pretty well versed in it.) What does all that medical jibber jabber mean? I had a rare and not well-understood mutation that typically stems from the gonads, but in my rare case it isn’t. Also, it seems to be growing on its own in the frontal portion of chest behind my ribs and inbetween my heart and lungs. Furthermore, because it is non-seminomatous it was birthed incorrectly from cells that were meant to form sex cells in your body.
Decided to go with Cisplatin instead of Bleomycin because of the complications that can occur with your pulmonary sytem (lungs), and if I end up having open chest surgery, there is a rumor going around that I may need those to be as fully functional as possible. But that’s not to say there still isn’t risk with the Cisplatin route. Other common side effects include anaphylaxis, cytopenias (including leukopenia and neutropenia, thrombocytopenia, and anaemia), hepatotoxicity, ototoxicity, cardiotoxicity, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, mucositis, stomatitis, pain, alopecia, anorexia, cachexia, and asthenia… just to name a few. So it began, Chemotherapy 24 hours a day, six days a week, every two weeks for five months. The line through my arm to my heart failed to deliver and a port had to be installed in my chest for the Chemotherapy to be pumped through my body through my heart, as interestingly enough on a metaphorical level, your heart is the only muscle strong enough to take the treatment without immediately deteriorating.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip
Five months, 65lbs later, and lots of fun side effects and discomforts occur, one of which is rather famous. Hair loss. Head, brows, and ALL. But I’ll tell ya what, my skin was smoother than freshly newborn baby’s bottom. So, that was a perk? A word of advice: MILK. You are going to have everything inside of you make it’s way back up, and when it isn’t traveling up and out it is fiercely burning inside you reminding you that it’s there. The ability for milk to act as a base and cooling agent for the tremendous amount of acid reflux you will experience (or at least I did) is nothing short of having the power of converting you to Hinduism! Man was I ever thankful for the cattle and cold pasteurized milk. Thank you Louis Pasteur! But, I have to say there was no relief for the absolute shell of a body you can feel yourself occupying, the emotional toll it takes on your loved ones, the fatigue and sensitivities your senses develop. I knew if someone down the hall was having a visitor that had on perfume/cologne, the body wash they used (or didn’t), the shampoo you washed your hair with, the aroma of hand sanitizer was repulsive, and please don’t be within 50ft of me if you are on your period. Then, there was all those aromas and tastes that got pumped into me: the Saline Flush. In order to keep the line clean for chemo treatment, it had to be injected and flushed with saline. Ever able to taste what a needle being injected into you tastes like? No? Good.
Georgetown Medical Hospital 6AM
I had previously spoken with my surgeon regarding options for removal of what was now a necrotic 7cm mass inside of my chest that didn’t include me having a sternotomy, and in fact there was. VATS. Visually Assisted Theroscopic Surgery. I was actually a perfect match and about to be the first person in history to have the procedure performed for my illness. Three incisions on the right side of rib cage for a camera, a grappling tool, and a cauterizer. Go in, grab the now dead germ cell cancer tissue inside of me, burn/carve it off of my lungs and out of my chest, drop it in a plastic bag, then pull the bag out and sow me back up. But first, anesthesia.
Drip. Drip. Drip…. 12:30 PM, awake. 7 PM, walking out of the hospital and on my way home. Thank you to my entire medical team, with special thanks to my oncologist Dr. Kashif Firozvi and surgeon Dr. Blair Marshall. Your commitment to excellence and not only maintaining but improving the health and quality of the living human experience goes without a sufficient amount of words. Needless to say, the after effects of having your insides cauterized have some, well, let’s just call it less than pleasant feelings when you have what is essentially scabs inside of you peeling off from the inside of your chest plate and heart and lung area. But the pain was only a reminder of how far I had come. And it was time for me to get full force back into the passion I had been fighting for quite a while. Cocktails.
Enter Kathryn Nakamura as a hidden messenger for the world of cocktails across me from the corporate cookie-cutter bar top I was working. Patience has become something I’ve grown to love and hate on so many levels, especially with myself. Chemo brain lingered for another year or so, and being able to maintain and absorb information, let alone remember conversations, became a very real obstacle. All of those obstacles and support of me through those obstacles were presented to me when I was given the opportunity to bartend for Michellin Star Chef Ryan Ratino at his restaurant “Bresca” in Washington DC, and then again as the Bar Manager at The Lincoln on Vermont Ave.
We’d love to hear more about your business.
Fast forward to summer 2018, Fort Worth, Texas. I landed in the Stockyards and got to meet an absolutely incredible person who is now the brand ambassador for Woodford Reserve. He was the acting manager and beverage director at Niles City Hall Saloon, where I have now embraced and attempted to share with the entire DFW Metroplex. I am now the Beverage Director and have had the privilege of working with and for individuals who seek the opportunity to make an impact on the beverage experience here in the Stockyards.
We specialize in pre-through-post prohibition cocktails with an emphasis on embracing authentically American and local Texas craft beers that are owned by Americans and employed by Americans. Creating an atmosphere that embodies the vision and hospitality of a Western Saloon from a snapshot view of your minds eye. We have been given kind praise for the creation of our Old Fashioned cocktail and our Seasonal Cocktail menu.
I think when it comes to the items, I am most proud of in being given the helm of directing the bar program, is really, all of the things that were actually already here before I arrived. The building was constructed in 1911, functioned as the FIRST Gambling Hall and Saloon in the state of Texas, and was an ACTUAL Speak-Easy through prohibition. Our downstairs is absolute throwback to an energy and lifestyle that can not be constructed in a “Speak-Easy” concept built-in 2004. And that, that reality, the history is just beautiful. From the hidden doors in the chimney stacks, the hidden stairwell that leads out to the main road, and the hidden alleyway that lets you escape out to the Stockyards River Walk (that no one even knows exists!) that takes you all the way down to the Trinity River. This place was absolutely alive then; its the reason why Fort Worth was considered “The Vegas” before Vegas. And our goal, MY GOAL, is to share that experience with all who make their way into Niles City Hall Saloon.
I really want to bring back that experience of people being able to know their bartender by name, the musician who comes in and plays live on the microphone or on our piano every Friday and Saturday night, but most of all: To bring people together in an escape from the same exact thing they have in their refrigerator. To watch the cocktails being transformed from liquid and cut fruit to art and memory for them to consume and share with those around them. Every single cocktail created here is special and unique not just because it has something in it that cant be used again but because it is being made FOR YOU. And being able to engage guests and get to know people and develop that relationship is the entire Spirit of crafting and consuming Spirits.
What were you like growing up?
I’m sure this opinion can vary. I was raised in a single family home by a mother who was amazing and hardworking and blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. But it’s true. My mother, whom I love beyond measure, is the driving force for me having the tenacity and desire to achieve the items I set myself to. I was taught early about self-reliance and being the kind of person that didn’t accept other’s opinions of my path as my actual path. And not only was I blessed to be born as a first-generation Chilean-American, I was blessed by having people in my and my mother’s life that genuinely cared for our well being, especially mine. My aunt, Marija Temo, lived with us up until High School. She was, and is, probably the greatest Flamenco and Classical guitar player to ever walk this earth. My appreciation for the arts, creativity, the obscure, and the “downtrodden” has everything to do with their involvement.
Growing up can be tough. Because after a while, if you don’t realize that it is a lifelong process, then you stop. And when that happens, all sorts of difficult begins to present itself as part of your character traits. That took me quite a few years to acknowledge, and every know and then I’m given a swift reminder in one form or another. My mother sent me to a Catholic Private school, for which I am forever grateful. I may have my qualms about a substantial amount of the belief structures and “moral” ideologies, but the structure and push to be self-reliant and accept responsibility for your actions and knowledge is and was second to none. But, being a non-white kid that lives with a single mom who didn’t bring him into this world through virgin birth attending a Catholic school definitely had its unique pinning.
I was rambunctious and defiant at times, probably more than I needed to be. Loved to play sports, read, watch 80’s and 90’s cartoons, and just entertain myself. Being an only child, you can quickly learn how to be comfortable with yourself and being alone. Just diving into your own mind and thoughts. But I think one of the things I’m most thankful for is that my mother didn’t have any interest in really speaking to or teaching me English until kindergarten came around. Result: I’m rather fluent in Spanish and have a noticeable Chilean accent when I speak.
Contact Info:
- Address: Niles City Hall Saloon
112 E EXCHANGE
Fort Worth Texas 76164 - Website: nilescityhall.com
- Phone: 817-624-2222
- Email: ProperBartender@gmail.com
- Instagram: Proper_Bartender & nilescityhall
- Facebook: Niles City Hall Saloon
- Yelp: Niles City Hall Saloon
Image Credit:
Painting by Jason Rodriguez insta @ art87jr Painter out of New Orleans, LA.; Black & white by insta @brooksburrisphotography
Suggest a story: VoyageDallas is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
