December 19, 2018

Meet Stephanie Hanrahan of Tinkles Her Pants in Dallas

Local Stories

Today we’d like to introduce you to Stephanie Hanrahan.

Stephanie, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
Two years ago, I was just your typical Frisco housewife. I had a husband, two young children—life was tied in a pretty bow, complete with the white picket fence. And after a fairly unpredictable and chaotic life, I felt like this was my time. I could finally coast. Boy, was I wrong.

In the summer of 2016, I found my husband unresponsive on the floor. His heart had stopped, and as it turns out, it is broken beyond repair. Weeks later, my two-year-old daughter began showing signs of autism. My son (a newborn at the time, now two as well), is following the same trajectory.

Up until a few months ago, no one knew any of this. I kept my private life off social media and only posted my prettiest parts. But I finally realized I wasn’t given this super complicated story to sit on it, so I opened a website called Tinkles Her Pants (www.tinklesherpants.com).

Tinkles Her Pants originates from the fact that I live for the moments that make you laugh so hard you leak a little, but that’s not always real life. Real life is hard. Real life can wreck you. Real life deserves to be done with real people. So this site, this space, is a place for me to find those people—the ones who crave authenticity as much as I do.

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
The hardest part was pushing the initial submit button. I had been hiding behind perfectionism for so long, I wasn’t sure what the response would be. I didn’t want my family to be pitied or looked poorly upon for being not of the norm. At the end of the day, I think we all crave acceptance, and prior to Tinkles Her Pants I was willing to conform to get that.

But the response since opening myself up publicly has been overwhelming. In two short months, several of my pieces have been picked up by national publications, and I hear from women daily who have shared in similar experiences as I have.

That connection is what propels me forward when the self-doubt creeps in that I’ve shared too much. I felt alone for so long, but now I’m naked and no longer afraid. To be seen in your entirety and accepted anyhow is a true gift. There’s not enough thanks in the world to cover how appreciative I am.

Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Tinkles Her Pants – what should we know?
Tinkles Her Pants is a site where we discuss all of the hard things—marriage, kids, sex, relationships, mental health, abuse—anything and everything that’s raw and real, and hopefully relatable. I truly believe we may not have the same experiences, but feelings are universal. So if you’ve ever found yourself living an unexpected life, or feeling an unexpected way, I am your person.

The Instagram (@tinklesherpants) associated with the site is a connective piece I’m really proud of. It was actually used as a private journal just for me (I opened it the day my daughter was diagnosed with autism). It holds the moments I am the most proud of and the most ashamed of, and because it was for my eyes only, with never the intent of being viewed publicly, the writing is unfiltered and heartbreakingly raw. Filled with a lot of fear—and maybe a sprinkle of strength.

When I decided to open Tinkles Her Pants, I knew it was important to make that Instagram account public and have it remain unedited. So what you see (especially the earlier posts) are perhaps hard to read, but it’s all real. It’s all my story. One of a woman who often fails—and then tries to find her footing again.

My hope is that the level of authentic exposure will encourage someone else to do the same and break down the barrier of ever feeling alone.

Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
Authenticity. There is nothing I have to offer other than my truth—even if that involves diving into taboo topics and feelings at times.

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