Today we’d like to introduce you to Lisa Daly.
Hi Lisa, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
This journey started 18 years ago when our son told us he was gay. He had just graduated from high school and was on his way to college in California. My husband and I knew we needed more information and support, so we decided to attend a Fort Worth PFLAG meeting. PFLAG is a national organization, Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays, which has local chapters. We met other parents of gays and lesbians, and within months joined the board, which we’re still on. Since then, we’ve marched in dozens of pride parades, spoken to high school and college classes, helped businesses and non-profits with diversity training, and attended local, state, and national conferences. We’ve participated in Lobby Days in Austin when the Texas Legislature was meeting. But the most important aspect for me has been the personal contact and support of parents, usually, moms, of LGBTQ kids, providing a shoulder to cry on, information, sympathy, and hope. These parents can be devastated by the thought of a gay child, confused as to what gender-fluid means, or overwhelmed by the challenges of having a transgender child. PFLAG helps them help their children.
One of the outreach efforts we do is the Supper Club for the residents of Samaritan House in Fort Worth. These are people with addiction issues, living with HIV, or other serious challenges. Once a month, we provide dinner for them and serve it, getting to know them and their stories. PFLAG has been doing Supper Club for more than 20 years. Soon after moving back to North Texas about six years ago, our daughter took over the organizing of Supper Club. The support for Samaritan House took from there: she helped purchase backpacks for the school-age kids living with Samaritan House facilities, volunteered to supply Christmas stockings for residents and arranged for individual tutoring to those studying for their GEDs. As a math tutor, I’ve been helping some of these people for a couple of years now. Their dedication to bettering themselves is inspiring. Learning algebra in your 50s isn’t easy! Last year I was invited to join the Board of Directors of Samaritan House, so now I’m learning more about affordable housing for those in need in Fort Worth.
Three years ago, my church hosted a community discussion focused on LGBTQ issues. Afterwards, three parishioners thought we should offer a support group for transgender people in the mid-cities. Since I had contacts in that community, I started this group, meeting on the last Sunday of every month at our church. We’ve had a surprising turnout! More and more kids and young adults are coming out as transgender. What I’ve found is that many young people go through life feeling misunderstood and that they were born into the wrong body. They and their families need a place to talk, listen, cry, and help each other as they come into their true selves.
In the age of COVID, we are meeting through Zoom, which allows us to connect with the adult trans children of some of these Texas parents. Recently we’ve started having speakers from New York, Canada, Austin, etc. We’re reaching out to trans people and their families on the internet now since we can meet and share from long distances! In a way, the pandemic has caused us to branch out beyond our initial plans.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
My husband likes to say, “for every two steps forward. We take one backward” when talking about progress towards equality for the LGBTQ community. The LGBTQ movement is just that: a movement and that can go in both directions. Being in Texas makes it doubly hard. Just when we finished celebrating marriage equality after Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015, we faced the unnecessary “Bathroom Bill” here in Texas. We are now seeing even crueler attacks against transgender children in the current Legislative Session. There are so many people who judge and condemn LGBTQ people, especially trans folks, based on fear, misinformation, or for no reason at all. I’m afraid this will be a battle long after I’m gone, but I am committed to advocating for the community while I am still here.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
Giving transgender people a safe space in what is, for many, not an affirming area. Resources for trans people are relatively rare in DFW and even rarer within communities of faith. Our trans support group is hosted by St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church in Hurst and supported by Fort Worth PFLAG. The combination appeals to people of faith, or not, and we welcome those who are seeking affirmation.
What I offer most is my willingness to meet one-on-one with people who need someone to talk to. I am not a counselor, therapist, nor am I a social worker. But when a mom calls crying because her son or daughter just came out to her, I arrange to meet if they are willing.
Once, about 13 years ago, I met a distraught mother for lunch at Cheddar’s. Her son had come out to her as gay, and she was crying, the grieving type of crying that went on non-stop for the two hours we spent together. I listened, gave her some materials, and then talked for about ten minutes about my story with my son. She is now the co-president of Fort Worth PFLAG, and her gorgeous son is engaged to a wonderful man! Just a couple of weeks ago, another mom called me and cried on the phone for 25 minutes. The next evening we had a Zoom meeting with both of these moms! Being able to connect these parents who feel alone to a community of support is what I love about what I do.
So maybe we end on discussing what matters most to you and why?
My family matters most to me. I’ve watched my children grow into amazing adults, doing what they can to help others around them. My grandsons are loving, empathetic boys who will, I hope, grow into loving, giving adults. I’ve tried to instill the values of acceptance and compassion for other, especially the LGBTQ community.
Contact Info:
- Email: info@pflagfortworth.org
- Website: http://www.pflagfortworth.org/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pflagfortworth/
