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Today we’d like to introduce you to Tiffani Carter.
Hi Tiffani, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
Life really started happening for me in June 2007. That was when my whole world turned upside down. I was an ambitious 22-year-old who was on her way to University life. I’ve always wanted to be a Nurse because I loved helping people. A few months before I was to leave for college, I discovered that I was pregnant. Of course, the moment I received this news was the moment I began to experience what devastation, rejection and loneliness felt like. I always carried minor insecurities (who doesn’t) but being abandoned by my once boyfriend turned child’s Father was not anything I anticipated or expected. My heart hurt in ways I couldn’t describe at the time. Needless to say, I had to withdraw from the University of choice and take classes at a community College in effort to continue pursuing my dreams.
As time went on, I found myself extremely vulnerable and re-connected with an old crush. We began dating, seriously dating, engaged, then married. Of course, me choosing to move this fast didn’t allow time for my heart, mind, or pride to heal. Mistakes were made, trust was broken, and I found myself abandoned. Alone. Again. This time I not only barely had a one-year-old, but I was pregnant again. This was the darkest season in my entire life. I felt like my life was worthless. I felt like I couldn’t offer my son nor unborn daughter anything. I really didn’t see a reason for me to continue living. I honestly felt like death would be better than having to feel the excruciating pain that I was feeling in my heart. I contemplated suicide. I set up the scene for it. But something majestically amazing happened. You see, I was raised in a church, but I really didn’t have a strong relationship with God. I knew scripture, knew when to use it, but rarely did I apply it. It was that night that I made the decision to take my life that I remembered who God was to me.
I began to be reminded about how I am needed in this world and that my current situation was not my ending. If I could just keep living and muster up enough faith to keep believing, then my children and I would be alright. I began attending a local worship service where women gathered around me of all ages and just loved and encouraged me. This made me come back to life and recognize that I had a purpose. I had a reason to keep going. During this process to purpose, I had to ask myself the hard questions and deal with characteristics, toxic traits and unhealthy patterns that I operated in. I had to really look within and acknowledge my issues and truly seek wise and Godly counsel. In doing so, I ended up permanently separating from my ex-husband and focused on God, myself and my children. I realized that prior to me choosing these men who felt like walking away was the answer, I uncovered the truth that I was a little girl in a woman’s body who was broken, hurt and angry. You see, my Father was not as consistent as I would have liked him to be in my life, and it created a huge void that, unfortunately, no man was able to fill. I looked for that in these men. I looked for validation, protection provision; I yearned to be loved.
It wasn’t until I began really loving myself that I was able to authentically love others. My heart began opening wide for young ladies. I desire to be to young ladies what I wish I had during my youth. A mentor. A confidant. A Spiritual guide. We as women, carry so much in our hearts and rarely know how to untangle ourselves from the web of emotions that show up from time to time. I have found that being honest with myself and asking questions along with God has freed me from the need of settling for anything less than God’s best for me. I am currently happily married, going on two years with renewed confidence, self-worth and true love flowing from my soul. My greatest purpose is to lead young ladies to discover who they are, heal from what they’ve experienced, abandon who they are not, and fully embrace every part of their beautiful life. In everything that I went through. I learned that God was birthing a mentoring program through me that circulates the strength, confidence and unity of sisterhood. It is an extension of God’s love through me. We are Identity139.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Not smooth at all. There were more than a fair share of bumps, twists, and turns. It was a real struggle to pull back the layers of my insecurities, my anger, and my low self-esteem. I didn’t want to believe the truth that I was really messed up on the inside. I didn’t want to hear it from others. I didn’t know how to face these issues. I didn’t know what was on the other side of them. Uncertainty was truly my enemy for the longest. I was scared of actually being happy. I didn’t know what that looked like outside of companionship. It was rough the first couple of years of my process.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I currently am a Nationally Registered Certified Medical Assistant for a Surgical Oncologist. I’ve been in the medical field for about 17 years, and I absolutely love it! I am most known for mentoring young ladies of all beliefs, walks of life and ages. I’m also known for being a prayer warrior. What sets me apart is choosing to just be me in everything that I do. Not needing anyone’s approval to walk in my purpose, going the extra mile to lead girls with integrity and truth. Getting my hands dirty to help them really learn themselves. Most people operate in haste and expect immediate results. Not me. We can take as long as needed for you to be healthy and whole.
We’d love to hear about any fond memories you have from when you were growing up?
My favorite childhood memory is being around my friends at church at my nieces and cousins. It was the sisterhood for me. We would laugh and dance and just really enjoy each other’s company. We all had big personalities (all very different), and we clung to the difference we all brought to the circle. It was amazing. My childhood was phenomenal.
Contact Info:
- Email: identity139mentoring@gmail.com
- Instagram: mrstiffanicarter
- Facebook: Tiffani Carter
- Twitter: Tiffani Carter
Image Credits
Cerone Lacey- Cerone Lacey Photography Dillard Gibson- Captured by Dillard