We’re looking forward to introducing you to Daphney Poyser. Check out our conversation below.
Daphney, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What do you think is misunderstood about your business?
One of the most misunderstood things about our business is that you have to be perfect for someone to want to date and be in a relationship with you. Say for instance, you need to be over 6 foot tall, you need to be fit and thin, you need to not have any past baggage and have worked out all of your relationship issues prior to starting to date again. The idea that no one will want to date you if you are not perfect is so misunderstood.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hi! I’m Daphney, and I am the CEO & Founder of Fern Connections. I am a Certified, and very proud and grateful to say, multi-award winning, Matchmaker and Date & Relationship Coach.
I started Fern Connection because I—in working with other matchmakers in the past—noticed a severe lack of diversity and inclusivity within the world of matchmaking, specifically as it relates to matchmaking services for individuals from marginalized communities, such as LGBTQIA+ individuals & BIWOC. Since then I have made it my mission to cultivate a company and a team of people who are committed to serving these communities and providing resources for people within these marginalized spaces. We do what we do everyday because we love it, and a huge part of that is due to the amazing people we get to call our friends, our community, and our current and future clients.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
The thing that I believe that breaks the bond between people is trust; when you lose trust in someone it’s hard to move forward with who you hoped and expected them to be. However, I believe that if you are willing to spend the time it takes to show up and repeatedly work on acting as your most authentic and trustworthy self, first with yourself and then with the people around you that you could possibly restore what’s lost. In my opinion it takes a lot of time to get the safety of trust back once it’s been lost with someone, and because of that you have to be willing to really commit to making a change and proving that you’ve changed and are willing to do what it takes to try to not make the same decisions that led to that breach of trust in the first place.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
One of the reasons I started my business was because I used to mask myself so much in my marriage and I hated who I was in that relationship. People never knew how unhappy and unhealthy I was until the relationship ended. My goal is to help people so they never have to experience anything like that in their relationships. I want to be able to help as many people as I can find happy and healthy relationships where they are accepted for who they are, and where they can be supported in a way that is beyond their greatest expectations and feel loved in a way that makes you feel strong enough to do anything you could possibly dream of doing in this life.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. Is the public version of you the real you?
It is today and I am more than happy to share my weaknesses and vulnerabilities with the world in order to hopefully help people to see that this is what wholeness looks like. I am so proud of my scars and imperfections and thrive for other people to see that we don’t have to be perfect to be accepted and loved by others—and most importantly by ourselves.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What will you regret not doing?
Nothing because I am intentionally making sure that I am doing everything that I can to balance my life so that I can feel good about both committing myself to doing the work that I love and being an active, and enthusiastic family member to the people that I love, in the best ways I know how. My family is my joy and we try to make sure that we are spending quality time together on a regular basis. However, no one can accomplish that alone, and my partner helps me to stay as balanced as I can by motivating me to be the best person that I can be and supporting me in ways that I had always hoped for in a long term partnership, and for that I’m really grateful.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.fernconnections.com
- Instagram: http://instagram.com/fernconnections
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/fernconnections
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fernconnectionsmatchmaking/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGXfX_lNqhfftFCukwKaAFg
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@fernconnections?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc
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