We recently had the chance to connect with Carol Parsons and have shared our conversation below.
Carol, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: Are you walking a path—or wandering?
I’d have to say at this stage of my life I’m wandering. I spent most of my life in pursuit of specific goals (getting married, raising kids, doing mission work, being a pastor’s wife), but now that I’m retired, I get to meander and enjoy the little, often overlooked, things in life. It might be the color of pine needles against a blue sky, or snuggling with one of my grandsons while we read a book or play a video game. There’s a lot to be said for ambling through life. You find a lot of surprising joys along the way.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Carol Parsons, a country girl at heart with a yen for the star. Currently, I’m in my mid-60s and live in Tyler, Texas with my husband of almost 44 years. I’ve been a missionary, small town newspaper editor, middle school and high school teacher, home schooler and pastor’s wife. I read widely, love to travel even if it’s only through books and movies right now due to health issues, and love quiet mornings. Writing is my first love as I’ve been doing it since middle school. Pick up any one of my books and you’ll discover I’m all about faith, family and adventure. I write science fiction, although I dabble in several sub genres: space fantasy, fantasy, gameLit and speculative fiction. I can’t write westerns or romance or historical fiction, so I cobble together bits and pieces from all those in a science fiction setting. A lot of my writing style is drawn from the Golden Age of science fiction, so the stories are character driven.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
I think expectations do more to break the bonds between people, God and man, husband and wife, parent and child, friends, or even employer and employee. Sometimes these are expectations of society or others, but often it’s our own expectations. These are “truths” we believe about ourselves and others or how we expect life to be and treat us. When those expectations aren’t met, we spiral and destroy not only ourselves but those around us and allow false expectations to frame who we are and what we believe about the world around us.
On the other hand, unconditional love restores relationships, whether it’s God’s unconditional love for each of us in spite of who we really are, or the forgiveness we extend others after receiving that same forgiveness for ourselves It’s hard to love someone else when you don’t love or accept yourself as worthy and valuable. The thing about unconditional love is it is very scary and doesn’t come with a safety net. You either love unconditionally or you attach strings and expectations.
For instance, American society is built firmly on the expectation that your value is in what you do, rather than who you are. And we begin this indoctrination in elementary school. By the time we graduate college we firmly believe that we earn our value through what we do. So if we doubt our abilities, well we just aren’t working hard enough. But our gifts and who we are are so much more important than measuring them against someone else’s standard. when we yield expectations and love unconditionally, the possibilities are limitless.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
Five years ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. It came on suddenly. In one month I went from active teacher to bedfast. I couldn’t even turn over in bed without assistance and was in constant pain. One of the greatest lessons I learned on this journey is that it’s okay to need help and to ask for it. I don’t have to do everything myself and I’m not worth less if I have to ask for help. Success never teaches you that it’s okay to fail, to not be able to do something, that you still matter even if your entire world crumbles around you.
There are still some things I can’t do, some range of motion I will never recover and my energy levels have to be carefully husbanded. But you know, that’s okay. If I don’t get a chapter written this week, well I’ll eventually get it written. I’ve realized traditional publishing isn’t for me. That constant rigid pressure to perform on a deadline isn’t worth it. And encouraging one student to follow their dream in spite of handicaps or obstacles or even naysayers is so much more rewarding than being on the best seller list. Because success fades, but transformed lives are forever.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
Yes, unfortunately, the public version of me is the real you. I don’t back down from my beliefs and convictions even though they aren’t culturally, socially or politically correct. However, I don’t go around flaunting those beliefs. More than once I’ve told someone, “don’t ask my opinion unless you really want to know because you won’t like it.” And more than once some smart alec has asked anyway and then been offended or taken aback by my answer. Which is when I remind them with a smile I warned them ahead of time.
My husband often tells people he didn’t ask me what I thought about his sermons because I’d tell him. What you see is what you get with me. I came from humble beginnings and I don’t pretend to be something I’m not. Do I know the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork? Sure. But when I set my own table, I’ll just use one fork.
I don’t apologize for liking the things I like and not liking other things. I might not agree with you, but I will defend your right to say and believe those things. I’ve lived in a lot of different places and cultures, so I know there’s something beautiful and worthy in every culture, even if I don’t agree with it. But you don’t have to be rude when disagreeing or insist that others hold to one’s viewpoint.
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I’d hope that people would see the light of Jesus Christ in every story I’ve written, every friendship I’ve had, every life I’ve touched, everything I’ve ever done. I’d hope they say, “she loved Jesus with all her heart, soul, and mind.” You can’t ask for a greater legacy than that.
Contact Info:
- Website: cjparsons@wordpress.com
- Other: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Carol-Parsons/author/B0034Q3GVM?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=74fafadc-8ac0-4295-86d5-560e4f1cd03b
