Today we’d like to introduce you to Ashley Caballero.
Ashley, we’d love to hear your story and how you got to where you are today both personally and as an artist.
My entire life I have taken on a “caregiver” role and if I am being honest I never knew anything different. I was an active and awkward kid like the rest of us with a heart for people and stray dogs (nothing has changed). For as long as I can remember one of my parents was always sick and we were always at the hospital. From a kidney transplant, to dialysis, to chemo treatments, to my Dad going sepsis and getting MRSA which then led to bilateral amputation of his legs…all by the age of 16. Through High School I felt mostly normal and I really did believe that I was because I had some really wonderful normal friends.
I was involved in just about everything but I had always carried this darkness around with me. When I was 14 I started self-harming, in the beginning it was just to see what the fuss was about and then it quickly turned into my only coping mechanism. “Why would your self-harm?”, you are probably wondering. At 14 and even into adulthood I didn’t know what taking care of myself looked like, I didn’t know what it meant to “put myself first” and even today I still struggle with that. I went away to college without an idea of who I was or what I wanted and I epically failed. I had just been diagnosed with ADD and my prescription was too high. Instead of being focused on class and getting things done, I was focused on sleeping and self-medicating with Nyquil every single night.
QUE the depression. Something to know, I have the best family in the world. Of course, no one is perfect but I’m incredibly lucky to have such supportive individuals in my corner. Up until I was 22 my Father struggled with his own demons as did I. He was in so much pain from his life altering circumstance and nothing was really helping towards the end. In February of 2015 my Father took his life and I fell into a storm not even I could recognize. I moved out of my parent’s house and I ran from every problem I ever had. I fell into a job that I hated and I fell in with people that could have cared less about my well-being.
It was in September of 2015 that I woke up from a fog and I really realized that I wouldn’t let what happened to my family happen to someone else’s family, without putting up a fight. I recorded a 15-minute video of myself telling the story of my family and my Father. I watched it over and over and over again until I finally found the courage to post it on Facebook one night. The next morning, I woke to an unbelievable number of messages that showed such an encouraging and positive response. It wasn’t until I received one message from a Facebook friend that I had only met once at a Relay for Life event who told me the reason she didn’t take her life was because she saw my video. After that conversation, I created Sparkle Mental Health Connection, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that was created to provide a platform for individuals to share their mental health experiences on, as well as raise awareness for mental health within our community.
I threw myself into Sparkle and everything I wanted it to be, it became my passion project and to this day it still is! When I catapulted myself into encouraging others to ‘Spark a Conversation’ I lost complete control of myself. I stopped taking care of myself, the self-harm started up again, I woke up every morning and cried because I didn’t have the energy to get through the day and I couldn’t figure out why. On August 21st, 2017 I attempted suicide. I ended up in a behavioral center for 8 days; there I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Let’s be real, that was a lot for 22-year-old me to digest but I was incredibly thankful to have had a diagnosis for what was going on in my head. I genuinely believed that I was the only one that dealt with something as extreme as the kind of thoughts I was having. I now realized that was the furthest thing from the truth. When I got out of the hospital I went to outpatient treatment for what felt like an eternity, that was really only 6 weeks.
I stabilized on medication and I took everything I’ve learned about this huge life changing experience I had and I took it to Sparkle to build something even better than we were building before. Fast forward to today, I am now 25 years old. I am healthy and I am happy (most of the time). I am running an organization that I really believe is going to help people. I love my job as personal assistant. I am in the midst of writing my first book, and I am getting ready to climb a mountain here very soon! Are things perfect? Of course, they aren’t, I am just out here trying to find a little peace in every single day. I live with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Does it make things challenging? Most of the time yes, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
We’d love to hear more about your art. What do you do you do and why and what do you hope others will take away from your work?
I believe in storytelling — I think that is the best way to sum up what my “art” is. I run a non-profit organization called ‘Sparkle Mental Health Connection’. Sparkle is a 501(c)(3) that was created to provide a platform for individuals to share their stories and experiences with mental health with our community. Creating awareness isn’t just self-help books and fundraisers; although that is all very important. Creating awareness is discussing the hard, dark, and honest stuff. The stuff that makes people a little uncomfortable because some of us are not in a place to accept the truth and that’s okay.
Sparkle is for story tellers, listeners, and people who are ready to help “spark a conversation” about mental health. Sparkle all started in a place with me feeling led to tell my story. I was a kid when I fell in love with writing and creating and now I am on the path to writing a book that I can’t believe I have found the courage to finally write. Along with Sparkle and writing, I have also fallen in love with public speaking and sharing my story to encourage others. At the end of the day the only thing I can hope and pray people take away from my “art” is that it is okay to be honest with the world. I want to encourage and inspire others to share their story and let them know that there is power in their voice.
Artists face many challenges, but what do you feel is the most pressing among them?
When I first started Sparkle and even when I first started writing, I thought it was really important for me to create something that was different and “cool”. As an artist and an adult, I have now come to realize it’s more important to be honest in your work than to be cool. I believe a big challenge we as artists face today would be choosing a type of art and feeling obligated and loyal to that one form of expression. The creative world is full of possibilities. I don’t think it ever matters what kind of art you are passionate about, being vulnerable in your art and sharing that with the world is a massive challenge.
Do you have any events or exhibitions coming up? Where would one go to see more of your work? How can people support you and your artwork?
You can check out Sparkle Mental Health Connection at www.sparkaconversation.org. I think people assume that when I say “non-profit organization” I will immediately expect for them to donate something to our cause, but that just isn’t the case. As much as donations allow us to operate and put on events in our community, we encourage sharing and supporting the cause by sparking a conversation about mental health within your OWN community. While I am taking this time to work on my book, I will continue to sharing my stories on Instagram and Facebook.
Contact Info:
- Email: ashley@sparkaconversation.org
- Instagram: @theadventureofash
- Facebook: facebook.com/theadventureofash
- Other: www.sparkaconversation.org
Image Credit:
Lyberty Zimmerman
Averie Claire Photos + Concepts
Mary Beth Grotheer
Ashley Caballero
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