Conversations with the Inspiring Mindy Arendt

Today we’d like to introduce you to Mindy Arendt.

Thanks for sharing your story with us Mindy. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
After graduating college from Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogdoches at 21 years old, I moved to Denton where I later met the love of my life and found a way to love my life. The community in Denton has become family over the last 12 years, and I couldn’t image being anywhere else. We have the pleasure of being around artistic, free-minded thinkers who work hard at their craft and share it with the community. Denton is made up of people who care about each other and their community.

Before being part of an official non-profit, I would throw drives at local bars to collect things charities needed such as bottled water for Our Daily Bread (local soup kitchen) and Band-Aids for children’s hospitals.

After getting involved in Best Little Brewfest in Texas (happening this year on Oct. 20 in Lewisville), being a lover of craft beer and fun charity work, a few friends and I got the charity thirst and decided to start a non-profit called Friends with Benefits. We throw fun events raising funds and awareness for North Texas non-profits, giving the community an affordable and entertaining way to give back. We are in our fifth year and we’ve grown from a four-person team to a five-person board and over 20 committee members making a difference year-round in North Texas. The team has grown into our own little family. We help each other when our personal lives need support, we are each others’ shoulders, cheerleaders, support system, and, most importantly, friends. This group is comprised of an amazing, hard-working, and caring people, and it makes me proud to see how far it’s come from its humble beginnings.

Our annual events include We Denton Drag It (we’ve raised over $16,000 for LGBTQIA+ in North Texas in the last two years with headliners Sharon Needles and Violet Chachki from RuPaul’s Drag Race,) Fry Street (now West Hickory Street) Oktoberfest 5k (coming up Sept. 29), Keep Denton Warm (starting Oct. 13), and our year-round Cumberland Children’s Birthday Sponsorship Program giving kids in the local orphanage supplies and gifts for a great birthday. We also do one-off events each year, depending on the need in the community. We’ve been able to give over $50,000 since 2013 to local non-profits such as Habitat for Humanity in Hood County, Denton Humane Society, Mazie’s Mission, The Russ Martin Show Listeners’ Foundation, Michael’s Memories, Giving Hope, GOAL, Denton Community Food Center, Our Daily Bread, The Promise House, Big Brothers & Big Sisters, Friends of the Family, OUTReach Denton, and 4 The One Foundation. In the last two years, we’ve given out four music scholarships to Texas music students and four Band Dolla$ grants to local musicians to help them financially with their musical goals.

The community involvement led me to also become part of other festivals such as Thin Line Fest, which I currently hold a Vice President position, and 35 Denton, which is no longer being held. Through this volunteering, I’ve had the pleasure of working with many diligent, creative individuals in Denton and got to meet amazing well-known artists, such as Biz Markie, Eliot Sumner, Phil Heath, Charles Bradley, Dezi 5, Fat Tony, The Shredders, The Zombies, and many more.

I like to stay busy, to say the least. When residing in a community like Denton, where there is always something going on, getting invovled seemed like the only way to really live here.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Nothing worth it in the end is a smooth road. If you’re pushing hard enough, you will get pushed back.

For non-profits and volunteering, in general, working with many different types of personalities is a learning experience. Being able to pick up on the alphas, the go-getters, the natural leaders, the followers, the direction followers, the all-talkers versus the action-takers – learning what each person can best bring to the table, and enjoy what they are doing, takes time and patience.

Patience is also something that has to be learned, and that learning curve might hurt some people’s feelings along the way. I think the greatest lesson I’ve learned so far is that while it should never be intentional to hurt someone, but when it happens, because it will, to own up to it and talk with them about it. I have a rule with FWB: if volutneers are upset with each other, I sit them down face-to-face, I tell them why we are meeting, I instruct them to take deep breaths – their feelings will get hurt, no yelling, to listen to each other, and to be honest. I buy them a shot of whiskey, and they talk about why they are upset and why there is tension. I only get involved if the above rules aren’t being followed. Nine times out of 10 it is a misunderstanding or miscommunication and they resolve it before it’s time for another round of drinks. When working with passionate people, there will be times when that passion is focused in the wrong direction and stirring the passion back to the mission at hand is important for them and the organization. Negativity is a cancer to a group and can spread quickly.

When asking people to do things for free, or get sponsorships for an event, repeatedly getting turned down can take its toll on you. Pushing through to the yeses makes them even more rewarding.

There will be people out there that will not take you or your organization seriously. They will call you a failure. They will try to put you down. They will be the mean girls in middle school who try to make themselves feel better by putting you and your accomplishments down. I treat it like a sport, which feeds my competitive nature. I put on a face that I’m ignoring their negativity and work harder to prove them wrong. No matter what you’re doing, if you are succeeding, there will ALWAYS be someone who is going to try to tarnish your happiness. It’s just the way some people are, and cutting them out of your life and ignoring the haters is the only way to keep your head up and continue climbing.

What should we know about Friends with Benefits & Thin Line Fest? What do you guys do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
Work is such a funny word when we’re talking about things you don’t get paid to do, ha ha. I’m very lucky to hold a position at a local ad agency, Something Shiny, where I can balance my career and the many organizations I work with.

I’m proud of the work I do with Thin Line Fest, it being the largest documentary-only film festival in Texas that also has a competitive photography festival and nightly music that showcases local, and nationally known, artists. We bring filmmakers from all over the world to Denton to show their work; in 2017 we had makers from over 17 different countries in town. Getting to meet those filmmakers and show them our town is probably the best part. This past April, I had many of them tell me they could totally see themselves living here, which makes me proud of the collective culture atmosphere we had in place. Thin Line is a special festival run by a volunteer, un-paid board of around 10 and a few committee members. To pull off a five-day, three-component festival with a ton of amazing volunteers, and a small governing, planning, working board is something to be proud of.

I, of course, am very proud of Friends with Benefits, if you couldn’t tell. 🙂 I still remember designing the logo and getting excited about the possibilities it could bring and the good work it could do. Those “angel-lips” make me beam with pride every time I see a stranger wearing a shirt, or someone sporting a sticker, or overhearing someone talking about the organization or event coming up. I cannot thank my board and committee enough, and I thank them every chance I get, for letting me lead them, growing with me, and making the organization what it is now. I look forward to many years of our FWB family giving back to North Texas and throwing wildly entertaining events for our friends and neighbors.

The best part, the moment that makes all the stress of organizing, getting told “no,” is the check presentations. Seeing the look on the non-profit members’ faces when they find out how much we are giving them, and them telling us how much of a difference it will make, is the best. I’m not a crier, but almost every check presentation their gratitude, and telling us how the money will be used, has brought me to tears – happy, proud tears that we were able to do that for them.

What sets FWB apart from others? My team. We seriously have THE BEST group of volunteers. Other groups and businesses say that every time we have an event. They show up, get straight to work, have a smile on their face, a pep in their step, and are ready to work hard and have a great time doing it. And they WORK. Most of our big events are 16-18 hour days for us from set up to tear down – and at the end of the long day, we sigh, reflect on the event, and say we can’t wait to do it again.

What do you feel are the biggest barriers today to female leadership, in your industry or generally?
Being female is only a struggle in pissing contests, tennis, and golf; all you have to do is adjust your swing.

Being female is not a crutch.

Being female is not a hurdle.

Being female is not a handicap.

Being female means you are a natural-born leader, in your own way, on your own terms. Biologically, we’re made that way – to continue the human race.

Saying you are a “female leader” is repetitive.

You should NOT have to define your gender identification when describing your position within an organization or company, or how you lead your life. Leaders are leaders – period.

I’m a firm believer that every human has barriers – race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, size, etc – but the gender they identify as shouldn’t be one of them. Are there people who will look or treat you differently because of your gender – absolutely – it is up to you to view it as a barrier or a challenge.

Being confident in who you are, working hard for what you believe in, being formally or self-educated, having the willingness to always learn more, being humble enough to know you don’t know everything, being stubborn, yet willing to listen to others’ points of view – those are qualities of a leader, no matter if you check “M” or “F” or fill in the “Other” line to fully let someone know who you are.

The only real barrier in life is yourself.

Contact Info:

• Website: fwbdenton.com
• Email: mindy@fwbdenton.com
• Instagram: fwbdenton
• Facebook: fwbdenton
• Twitter: fwbdenton
• Other: www.thinline.us

Image Credit:
Personal photo – Lungs & Co. Photography, Check Presentation and Oktoberfest Photo – Ed Steele Photography, Red Skirt – Kiara Hunter

Getting in touch: VoyageDallas is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.