Today we’d like to introduce you to Rachel Hornbuckle.
So, before we jump into specific questions about what you do, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I made the decision to start competing in pageants in 2017, right before I was about to graduate from law school. I can truly say at that moment I had never felt so lost in my entire life. I’d spent three years at The University of Alabama School of Law studying my life away, to reach the end and be so unsure of myself: unsure of who I was or whether I even wanted to practice law. I happened to be telling my mom all of this when she suggested that I “finally” give Miss Texas USA a shot. At first, I thought she was crazy, especially since I’ve never been considered the “girly” type (whatever that means). I’d always been labeled as “the athlete,” a “tomboy,” and I even had been told that I wasn’t “feminine” enough by a friend, which absolutely CRUSHED my self-esteem. On top of that, I dreaded being in the spotlight. Not because I was nervous or anything, which it turned out that I had a little bit of nervousness, but it was mostly due to the fact that I was terrified that someone was going to ask me about my dad. I’m sure reading this a person would ask “what’s the big deal?” Well, my dad is Bishop Terry Hornbuckle.
During the ’90s and early 2000s, my dad was the pastor of a rising megachurch, better known as the Agape Christian Fellowship. Literally our whole lives revolved around our church: all my friends went there, the people I considered family attended, and even a few celebrities. It was almost like a little slice of heaven for me; that’s until it all came crashing down. In 2004, my Dad was arrested and eventually convicted of rape, and our world completely imploded. One day, I was a normal 12-year-old girl, and the next I see my dad being taken away in handcuffs on every news channel, which is how I found out actually (my parents didn’t even get to tell me). For about 2/3 years, we were followed by the media, received hundreds of death threats, and for the first time in my entire life, I saw friends and family completely abandon us. After that, it was like people were watching my family’s every move (me, my mom, and my two brothers), so I decided to keep my head down and stay in the background as much as possible.
If you can imagine, going through such a public scandal really had a toll on how I felt about being the center of attention, especially when I felt I didn’t fit the mold of the perfect beauty queen, with this perfect life. My family was anything but perfect, and I knew that at some point someone would recognize my last name and ask that dreaded questions, “Isn’t your Dad Bishop Terry Hornbuckle?” My stomach literally dropped every time someone asked me that, and they didn’t even have to get the entire sentence out for me to know it was coming. This is something I struggled with throughout the adolescent year, but most of all during my preparation for my first competition. It was so evident that my dad being in prison was such a mental blocker for me, that my coach sat me down and told me that until I lived in my truth I wouldn’t be able to do this; to walk out on that stage with everyone looking at me or to go in front of those judges being confident in who I am. Well, it was no cakewalk, many many tears, therapy session, and many practices later, I competed at Miss Texas USA 2018 and landed in the top 15!
To many people, that may not be anything special, but to me, as a first-time pageant girl competing in one of the HARDEST state pageants, it was HUGE. The best part of it all was that I went out there and owned who I am and was proudly UNASHAMED of what my family has gone through. Shortly after, I wrote an open letter via Facebook about my dad, and about every single hardship my family and I had faced. I didn’t expect anyone to relate to my story, I honestly was scared out of my mind to share my thoughts that almost didn’t post it. I thought I would be faced with ridicule and judgment from people wondering why I was even talking about my dad and what he’d done. But to my surprise, many people were able to sympathize and relate to having a parent who is incarcerated. I honestly was very shocked by the outpour of love and even those who shared their own stories with me, reminding me that I’m not in this alone. At that moment, I realized that sharing my story not only allowed me to begin my personal journey of healing but that I have the opportunity to encourage others to be UNASHAMED of who they are or what they’ve gone through. This is so much bigger than me, and so much bigger than any pageant I could ever compete in. My journey through pageantry gave me my confidence back and taught me how to love myself and my story no matter what anyone thinks or says. Three pageants, three top 15 placements, and three years of amazing growth allowed me to create UNASHAMED, an initiative geared towards raising awareness about the effects of parental incarceration on children and encouraging others to own their stories because they are ours to share with the world.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
It has been anything but a smooth road. I started off with no coach, no money, and no earthly idea what I was doing. We were literally living on a prayer! But to be honest, the most challenging part was believing I could do it in the first place. I’m generally a pretty positive person, but when it came to this pageant, I just couldn’t get my heart and my mind to align. I knew this was something I wanted with every fiber of my being, but my heart just couldn’t believe that I could even get close to being Miss Texas USA. Coaches and mentors told me that I had to wake up every day believing that I was Miss Universe (yes, I know quite the jump) because if I walked in there like Miss Texas USA someone else would walk in there as Miss USA or Miss Universe. So, I decided that I was going to manifest the crap out of this thing and give myself the memo that I could win this entire pageant. I started out by writing encouraging words on sticky notes and sticking them on my mirror: “I can I will I must,” “You deserve this! So, go, get it!” “Good morning Miss Texas USA/USA/Universe,” and many other words of encouragement. Then, I found that during my quiet time I would journal this manifestation, and I started focusing on asking God for what I wanted. Soon, my prayers turned from “I want this! So, let do it,” to “Your will be done! Let me get the most out of this experience and let me be a light so that people can see YOU in me and want to know you.” Because of this prayer, my journey went from a bumpy road of what I wanted to a journey of peace, courage, and life lessons I would have missed out on had I not taken the leap of faith to begin in the first place.
I would advise young women to dream big, but to take even bigger leaps of faith. Life isn’t perfect; it sometimes doesn’t goes according to plan; but if you live courageously and get uncomfortable, you’ll be surprised by the blessing and lessons you receive along the way. It may be rough at first, but if you can withstand the growing pains, and remember your why and the end goal, every single struggle will be worth it in the end, and you will be a strong and remarkable person because of it. Sometimes, God takes you on a detour to get out you to your purpose, so we have to be open to that.
What should we know about UNASHAMED? What do you do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
I consider myself a rising philanthropist and public speaker, specifically focusing on Diversity and Inclusion, Domestic Violence, Leadership and Self-Esteem, Anxiety and Depression, and Parental Incarceration. While I’ve studied and experienced issues from the previously mentioned focus areas, I don’t limit myself to those areas alone, and I’m always open to talking about any topic.
I’m really proud of my ability to be transparent because once upon a time it was not so easy for me. By being open and honest with myself and the world around me, I’ve been able to find healing for myself, while also letting others know they are not alone and that they are loved. I know I’m walking in my purpose, while also allowing others to see that my journey is not always perfect, but God’s with me through the high and the lows, and He’s with them too. If I can get that message across to just one person, that’s a blessing for me.
Do you have any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general? What has worked well for you?
Don’t be afraid to ask someone you admire to be your mentor. I’ve literally sent emails, dms, and text to people I knew probably would shoot me down, tell me they were too busy, or not even respond. No matter the result, I always tried, even when I didn’t want to (lol). If I wasn’t able to be a particular person’s mentee, I made sure I offered to meet up with them, even if it was just once over coffee or lunch so I could soak up some wisdom.
Even if you’re not able to meet your dream mentor, you can buy their books, listen to their podcasts, or attend some of their speaking engagements. You don’t actually have to know/sit down with someone for them to be your “mentor.” I personally consider Shonda Rhimes a mentor. Her book “Year of Yes” taught me to be fearless, say yes to the things that scare me, and to saying yes to saying no (hard lesson for me), and many other life lessons I take with me every day.
Not everyone should mentor you. Yes, you may want a certain mentor or just a mentor generally, but make sure it’s a good match. That doesn’t mean that you’ll always agree or think the same way, I personally like mentors who think differently than I do because they give me a different perspective on things. Your mentor should help you grow, not hold you back, or continuously tear you down (this is not the same as constructive criticism). So, make sure it’s a good fit for you.
Contact Info:
- Email: rrhornbuckle@sbcglobl.net
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel_renee92/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rachel.hornbuckle.9
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/buckle_up_texas
Image Credit:
Grant Foto, Select Studios, Texas Rangers
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