Today we’d like to introduce you to Brian Allen.
Hi Brian, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
Hi, my name is Brian, I grew up in Arlington, and am now a 43-year-old, gay male. While I may have thought I came out in the early ’90s; I’m coming out again now. However, this time, without any shame. Welcome to my GAYDEMIC.
I recently found myself single and working from home alone with only my thoughts, mid-pandemic. There was nobody else to blame. If it didn’t happen, it was because I didn’t do it. It’s my time to do something about it now. Hence, I came up with my Instagram tag @BRIANSGAYDEMIC.
I am turning to social media to release my shame and further the conversation about mental illness, awareness, and emotional health. As well, I provide an intimate insight into my personal illness and the effects of growing up in a society designed for everyone else. No doubt that other minorities can relate to this as well in their own way – and I hope you do!
As I have dug into social media, I have found that I am not as alone as I thought I was.
I just launched my Instagram page on February 14, 2022, in honor of loving myself and I’m just starting my journey.
Posting has encouraged me to focus on positivity, personal accountability, and to anchor in a healthier lifestyle, and how to make better choices.
My story of healing is literally happening this very moment. Every day is a struggle. having never been very active with social media, I am even struggling with that now. However, I am putting one foot in front of the other in hopes of capturing this in a way that I can both reflect upon and potentially help others too along my way.
I am hoping to be inspired and to inspire others.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Unfortunately, it has been an arduous journey; but one that has led me here.
I am clinically diagnosed with anxiety and depression and have struggled greatly with this illness for the last 10 years. My illness was triggered by a broken heart following a breakup with the man I thought I was to marry, and shortly thereafter, the sudden and unexpected death of my father.
While my illness was triggered in 2012, I struggled without knowing it since coming out at the age of 15. While at times my friends who have accepted me will tell you I was out, loud, and proud; I was a different Brian when around family, co-workers, etc. I was ashamed of being gay and didn’t even recognize it. Perhaps the shame just felt normal to me.
I repressed my feelings instead and replaced them with unhealthy coping mechanisms which caused a lot of trauma. I unknowingly lived my life without truly loving myself.
While in my deepest state of depression, I found myself watching the Netflix limited series, Maid, based on the true story of author Stephanie Land. The exceptional acting skills of Margaret Qualley helped me to see myself slipping into the darkest of places. I felt my feelings for what seemed like the first time. The story and acting propelled me to do something more, like Stephanie did.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
While I am most proud to be doing this 100% for myself, I am willing to share my experience real-time as I am processing and healing, hoping to possibly inspire others who are also healing or are in need of healing as well.
My vision is to create an online community of both support and fun. Not only help those struggling but to also help others understand what it’s like for their loved ones, friends, co-workers, etc. who are suffering and are not speaking up for themselves just yet. I too did not speak up or loud enough for so many years, yet all the signs were there.
I also wish to share my journey to find love for myself and joy for life again.
I grew up ‘not talking about things’ and I refuse to stay silent anymore. I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable now. I am not here to preach, rather to simply share my story with you and I hope that you will share your own stories/wins with me and my viewers too.
Are there any books, apps, podcasts, or blogs that help you do your best?
My family and friends are my true inspiration. Without them, none of this would be possible.
Having grown up before the internet, I have neglected the benefits of social media for fear of the unknown. I have since found several resources that have also inspired me.
I first saw @jacentgems on the NBC morning show. I was inspired by her stories of debt management and thought I could do something similar in my own way with my own content and heal emotionally, along with her help/coaching financially.
Since then, I have discovered @jayshetty who has been extremely inspirational as Author, Coach, Former Monk. I truly appreciate his podcast – ON Purpose. His “purpose is to make wisdom go viral” and I share his purpose.
And then I found @the.holistic.psychologist who created her account back in July 2018 as “an exercise in her own healing journey”. She pathed the way for me to do this. Her journey led her to write her new book, How to Do the Work, which is “emblematic of her own journey and healing” and I will be working with it as I continue with my own posts and healing.
Contact Info:
- Email: brian@briansgaydemic.com
- Instagram: briansgaydemic
- Other: TikTok – briansgaydemic
Image Credits
@boudoirwithmary
