Today we’d like to introduce you to Saint Johnson.
Hi Saint , we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
I was born in Dallas, TX. Had a somewhat normal life. I grew up with my mother, grandparents, uncles and cousins. My mom was young when she had me around 22, still trying to figure things out and figure out herself. I went through sexual abuse at a young age from about 4 and up all from other older kids. I grew up super confused about my identity. I thought I was a boy in the wrong body of a girl. Had my Dad in my life a little bit, but not enough for him to influence me. I still wanted to be very much like him though. Everyone loved my dad, he’s like the life of the party. As I got older I started to question what was wrong with me because my father wasn’t in my life. I thought maybe I wasn’t good enough. So I tried to make myself good enough by lying to people, manipulating people, catfishing people. Just really trying to figure out who I was. I turned into someone I didn’t even trust. Didn’t really have friends ‘cause how can you trust someone when you don’t even trust yourself. I had people tell me that I should stop pretending I was straight. I was consistently telling them I wasn’t gay. Eventually I got tired of it and tried it. To be honest, that was the beginning of hell for me. Dating women way older than me I was like 14 talking to 24, 26 year old women. I did lie about my age I’d tell them I was 17. But the truth was I was lowkey repulsed by thinking of even kissing a girl, but I was so good at talking to them. I always wanted to make people feel good. So I’d date women they most would call ugly and just make them feel special. But I was a cheater so it brought me heartbreak and them too. Soon it was time for me to go to college. That’s when all hell broke loose. I was free to be whatever I had been hiding from my mom. What I was afraid to be in front of my classmates. I didn’t care about my life I was very suicidal with multiple attempts behind me. I was just a broken person. Nobody knew though, because I put on a really good face. Even fooled myself at times. I met a girl we started dating my family found out and they weren’t happy at all. I stopped hearing from them and it broke me. I tried to kill myself again but a classmate stopped me. The girl I was dating at the time cheated on me and I just turned into the villain. I dated whoever wanted to date me I told everybody about everybody. Tried to at least be honest about it but I just didn’t care anymore. I ended up getting into a fight and got evicted out of my dorm and expelled from college. Came home and was tired of living with my parents and I just wanted something else. I wanted to be grown foreal. I was about 18! 18 is not grown so much more to learn. I called one of my sisters to go stay with her and she told me that I’d have to go to church if I came and stayed with her. I didn’t care about going to church as long as I could leave my mom house. And I went to stay in Corsicana with my sister. That was when I had my first encounter with the Lord. I felt him hug me. I wasn’t really raised in church I’d been to church but I didn’t go to church every Sunday. So I didn’t really know if he was real or not. I used to worry about that. Like dang if he real and I don’t believe this is gonna be bad. But in the moment when he hugged me it’s like all the hurt and pain I felt was covered by love. I made a vow to myself and to the Lord in that moment like whatever I gotta do to keep this love going I’m doing it. At the time I was gay, dressing like a stud. So some of the members didn’t accept me. But I really wanted God! I ended up leaving the church and telling myself “I know God is real so I’m find him for myself since they don’t want to teach me.” That’s what I did. I read the whole Bible from Genesis to Revelation. I seen how much God loves us. I seen how dirty I was. How wrong I was living even in little things like envy and jealousy. You know people say they jealous all the time like it’s nothing but the word says those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. I was like man I wish more people could feel what I’m feeling, because all that pain I had he started to replace it with joy and peace that I couldn’t even understand. I started testing certain things in the Bible to see if it was real. For example, Jesus went 40 days and nights no food or water. I’m like no way! So I said ima not eat or drink for 3 whole days and see what happens. So I only read the Bible watched Christian things no worldly music only gospel. When I’d get a hunger headache and I’d read the Bible it’d go away. Then if my stomach would gargle and I’d read my word it’d stop. That’s when I knew his word is like living and true. He said taste and see that the Lord is good! I tasted and I seen. I ended up getting delivered from Lesbianism. I didn’t even pray the gay away I just kept praying anything not like you that’s in me take it out. And as I was talking to a girl, still seeking the Lord he took the desire and even started giving me back a desire for men. That was something I was scared of. But it happened and a month later I ended up reading about the filling of the Holy Spirit I prayed everyday for a week then got filled in the parking lot of a Chicken Express. After that the Lord started showing me visions and when I’d read the word he would break it down to me I could hear him. Not loud but in your heart I can’t really explain it but you know it’s not you. lol. In 2020 the Holy Spirit sent me to go minister to the homeless, I was scared but he used me. People stopped doing drugs threw away weed and liquor, some were healed. I was like wow God if I didn’t know before I know now. And I been living and teaching the Word of God ever since.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
A lot of my struggles stemmed from having to be renewed in my mind. The world teaches us how to deal with our problems. If someone treat you bad you treat them bad. But Jesus says the opposite he says to pray for those who curse you bless them, and even help them. So a lot of it was that. Also people still thinking I was the old me when I was now a new creation. Having to let go of friends and sometimes even family. It’s been a road for sure but I wouldn’t take it back. Holy Spirit is the comforter and teacher, so when I would go through these situations he’d calm me and teach me how to handle it next time. It’s a process everyday. Staying in the word is a huge help and reminder.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I’m know for a couple things. I do Christian music. I also have a non-profit called Refining Fire Teachings Inc. we teach the word of God and help others especially the youth with mentorship. I’m most proud of helping the people i have through the help of the Holy Spirit develop or even continue in their walk of faith. Walking with the Lord is not easy but it’s so rewarding and worth it and one day we’ll all know how worth it it really is. I’m most proud of even giving my life to Christ that’s my greatest accomplishment. I’ll keep saying that even if I accomplish a bunch of things because I wouldn’t have the mindset I have the heart I have if God didn’t come in and for 1 save me but also recreate me. I’d say what sets me apart from others firstly in music would be I more so like to make music for the unbeliever and my music is more message based and not really to turn up even though the beats go crazy! And I make music about praising the Lord. In my personal life I’d say what sets me apart is my motives. My reasons why. I mess up here and there, sometimes I for sure miss the mark but all in all I just want to be pleasing to God I realized and am cool with just being pleasing to God. I think a lot of people seek approval from man, but man seeks perfection but we are all a work in progress so I can’t please people so I don’t try to. But I know I can please God, so I’d say that’s what sets me apart from others.
Do you have recommendations for books, apps, blogs, etc?
Honestly the Bible and my sisters in Christ. We sharpen each other in the word. The word is my biggest helper everything I go through is in there so I always have some direction straight from the source.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://refiningfireteaching.wixsite.com/refiningfire
- Instagram: @canipreachtv_
