Today we’d like to introduce you to Sonya Jacobs.
Hi Sonya, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
I was born and raised in a college town in Alabama. I was a child of divorce; however, at the age of 4, my mother’s remarriage brought me a happy, typical, Gen X childhood. I was raised in a Christian home that was filled with a little brother that I adored, a grandmother living with us, a lot of time riding my bicycle, playing outside, living with one family telephone that was not smart and was attached to the wall! I grew up with encyclopedias instead of Google, watched a space shuttle horrifically explode, saw the Berlin Wall come down, and was entertained by something “new” called MTV. I saw innovation unfold in front of my eyes almost daily. At 20 years of age, I married my best friend, who happened to be my high school sweetheart. We were able to transition from adolescence to adulthood together while our frontal lobes were still developing. It was challenging and difficult and beautiful all at the same time. I wanted to do something in my life that would make a difference, help others, and give me an opportunity to leave my hometown and see more of our great, big, beautiful world! My new, young husband and I signed up to be missionaries, and everything started to blossom. We were assigned positions in Nicaragua, Puerto Rico, Canada, and across the great United States of America. Our eyes were opened to amazing cultures, beautiful souls, and fantastic food, and we never looked back. We were young, adventurous, and had a deep passion for our faith and for loving people.
We all face challenges, but looking back, would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
My life has had beautiful experiences as well as tumultuous hardships. I am grateful for both. Growing up without being in a relationship with my biological father caused me to question my worth that wreaked havoc on my adolescent emotions. Having an adoptive father who loved me unconditionally and introduced me to Jesus was eternally life-giving. All happening somehow at the same time. Watching the supermodel culture of the 80s explode in front of my eyes made me question my beauty as a 5’2″ petite girl with a muscular build and naturally curly hair. I longed to look like the Barbies I played with as a child rather than feeling confident in my own skin. Coming from complicated family histories, my husband and I both walked naively into marriage. We didn’t know what we wanted to be “when we grew up,” yet we were ready to commit our entire lives to one another. We knew that we deeply loved each other; however, we had no idea how to have a healthy marriage. We preferred to avoid conflicts, we had bad boundaries, we were both people pleasers and we were petrified of being fully known. Not to mention we both finished our bachelor’s degrees while married in our 20’s. When we left the mission field to start our “settled down and grown-up careers,” I was lost. I knew I wanted to be a mother and felt uninspired by anything else. We tried to start our family, but it was not happening as quickly as science was telling me it should. That was hard. I felt lost and didn’t know what my purpose was. I floundered aimlessly as a person while my husband found his purpose and settled into a new career. I felt confused and was looking for something to fill the hole in me. I should have started therapy then, but unfortunately, I tried to muscle through my emotions. Within a couple of years of that mess, we did get pregnant, and I was overjoyed to give birth to a perfect little boy. I thought that would fix my emotional needs. I just became codependent on motherhood, lol. Who even knew that could happen?! Eventually, my issues rose to the surface, and our marriage almost fell apart. That was marriage year #10. My husband and I did not want a divorce, but we desperately needed help. We went to a Christian counselor for an entire year, and it changed everything. Within that next year, we were blessed with baby #2, a gorgeous little girl. After an entire year of Christian counseling, we unpacked bad habits, dealt with conflict, found forgiveness, learned how to communicate, and asked God to heal us. Our marriage finally felt safe and loving in a way that I didn’t even know was possible. We moved into a truly beautiful season with meaningful ministry and a deeply enjoyable life. It was not always easy; we went through the process of adoption and gained our 3rd child, another perfect little boy. That caboose was meant to be! We experienced a miscarriage and went through seasons with some depression, anxiety as well as ADHD. A really good life can still have challenges. Those challenges often help us appreciate the goodness.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
I am the Co-Founder of the non-profit Enjoy Your Marriage, as well as a Marriage and Care Pastor in a local church. We believe, and studies show, that healthy marriages create healthy families, and healthy families create healthy communities. We all want to want to have peaceful, enjoyable lives. Most of us need help figuring out how to have a peaceful, fun, and enjoyable marriage. Our organization can come alongside people to help them cultivate marriages filled with safety, laughter, connection, and more. Our organization exists to help couples enjoy their marriages, not endure them.
Our goals and strategies to help create healthy marriages are…
Counseling: Pre-marital–Enrichment-Crisis counseling-
Education: Workshops-Trainings-Conferences
Equipping: Events-Adventures-Getaways
If you are a business owner and you have employees, they are more productive and energetic when their marriages are healthy. If you oversee a church staff, your staff will be healthier in their service if their marriages are happy. The opposite is also true. If people are miserable at home, their productivity and energy will suffer.
We can tailor events to organizations, groups, or individuals. We can also create experiences that are Christian-based or non-religious.
We all have a different way of looking at and defining success. How do you define success?
I define success by trying to live my life one moment at a time, abiding in Christ. When I do that, Christ produces results through me that I get to pour out onto others, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. That makes the world a better place. That is my definition of a successful life.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://enjoyyourmarriage.org
- Instagram: @enjoy_your_marriage
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/warrenandsonya
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonya-jacobs-mabc-191614158/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3zPZ8B5gP0
Image Credits
Christie Gare
