We recently had the chance to connect with Josh Hickman and have shared our conversation below.
Good morning Josh, it’s such a great way to kick off the day – I think our readers will love hearing your stories, experiences and about how you think about life and work. Let’s jump right in? Have you ever been glad you didn’t act fast?
Yes. Several times. I had thought of writing my new book Forgetting immediately following the death of my mother. I had been her solo caregiver for three years and three months as she succumbed to dementia. We had had a deeply troubled relationship for decades. But I wisely thought myself too emotional, angry, and grief stricken to write the story of our final years together. I waited almost a year and a half to put pen to paper. I’m glad I did. I think the resulting book is far more balanced and reasoned than I could have been. For that I am grateful.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am an author of both fiction and non-fiction, an artist (painter), and a journalist based in Dallas, TX. My background includes education at the Booker T. Washington High School for Performing and Visual Arts and the University of Texas at Austin. My seventh book was recently released, my first work of non-fiction. My colorful background includes working as a muralist, musician, bartender, handyman, and private investigator. I still write regularly for local the newspapers Park Cities People and Preston Hollow People.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
My mother and I had a very difficult relationship. She was an exceedingly difficult person, but I always maintained contact with her, difficult as that could be. A totally unexpected series of life changes and disasters brought us closer together, as I needed her help, and she needed mine. Both of our lives had totally fallen apart. I had lost my father, my job, and the woman I thought was the love of my life. And I had a decades-long, thinly veiled drinking problem. My mother had no friends, no relatives, she had lost her husband and was starting to show signs of cognitive decline. As I proceeded to take care of her for over three years as she disintegrated, I watched her personality totally change. She became this sweet old lady—a total stranger. I relearned to have compassion, affection, and even pity for her. We reconciled as best we could, my perspective on her changed, and I am grateful for that.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
There were many times during my period of caregiving when I almost gave up. The stress, isolation, loneliness, and boredom were excruciating and soul-killing. Early on, when I was experiencing alcohol withdrawal and my mother’s behavior was at its worst, I seriously considered suicide for about a week. But I persevered and was successful in giving up drinking. I was surprised to find I was stronger than I knew.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
I was very committed to writing and finishing my latest book Forgetting. I knew I wanted to write it, even if it was never published. I thought writing might be a sort of catharsis, which it was. The writing just poured out, but the editing was difficult and tedious. When I read over the finished product, I committed to getting published, because I thought it might indeed help those suffering through similar situations and circumstances. It was the book I wished I had to read when I was going through the caregiving journey.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: If you knew you had 10 years left, what would you stop doing immediately?
Worrying. I worry way too much, especially about things that don’t really matter. I’ve always been a worrier. As a kid I was a worrier, but this really increased during my time caregiving for my mother. Would she have a fall? Would she wind up in a skilled nursing facility? Would we go broke? The worries were endless. It’s a bad, counterproductive habit I am still working to break.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://joshwhickman.com
- Instagram: @therealjoshhickman
- Facebook: @therealjoshhickman
Image Credits
Josh Hickman
