Today we’d like to introduce you to Arabia Whitfield.
Hi Arabia, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
I am originally from Monroe, Louisiana, and the fourth child out of five. I moved to Texas with my mom and siblings when I was younger. As an extroverted child, I had this drive to excel in anything I put my mind to. We struggled greatly as a family especially financially, but I didn’t let what we didn’t have, stop me from dreaming of my future including going to college. As a teen, I struggled with depression but couldn’t name the issue until I got older. I struggled with low self-esteem and not knowing who I was which would affect me as an adult. After high school, I enrolled in college but fell in love and left college after a semester. In 2007, my world changed; I welcomed my first child, a son. I loved every moment of being a mom and being with my son’s father. It was not until 2009 my world was quickly shattered by the death of my son’s father. He was unjustly killed by police. Not in a million years did the thought cross my mind that I would deal with police brutality, but here I was trying to figure out this next step for me and my son’s life. I was scared and timid not knowing what was next, but I knew I had to do something as I wait for justice. I enrolled back in college and worked small jobs. I graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice with a minor in psychology. Obtaining my degree was a big deal but I know I needed to continue. I am a Jesus Christ follower and I sense the Lord leading me to Seminary for my Master’s. I did and not too long ago graduated. Currently, I work in ministry at my church and on the side, I have a brand called The Cultured Mom. I am in the midst of revamping my site, but it’s a platform I use to encourage mothers of preteens/teens through blogging. Blogging became a coping mechanism after my late husband’s death to deal with the grief and idleness. Little did I know God would use blogging to birth something greater.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Indeed no. The biggest challenge was the emotional battle of raising a child alone and fighting for justice silently trying to make the truth come out. In my parenting, I was exhausted and felt defeated most days. You’re constantly pouring into your child but at the end of the day, I didn’t have anyone pouring back into me. I didn’t have a partner to run things by or help me make decisions that would affect my son’s future, or take a break when I was frustrated. I had to suck it up and carry on. I felt guilty if I confessed my frustrations as a single mom. I remember days that I would pick up my son from daycare after work and school and moms would be smiling big at their kids. I envied that because I wanted what seem like joy but the truth was, I was tired. Parenting felt like another job and I felt guilty for thinking that. Of course, I didn’t tell my son that but behind my smile felt like work. Financially, I didn’t have the income to do anything extra for my son so I felt bad not being able to afford what his peers had. On the flip side, I was keeping up with the case involving my son’s father. I was discouraged by the progress of the case and how long it was taking. I was scared that these officers would walk free, the police department will get away with another murder, and justice would not be served. It was painfully over the years to hear of black men being killed. It got to the point that I wouldn’t even emotionally get involved. It was the same outcome and the same rhetoric until Botham Jean. The narrative changed. That gave me hope to keep believing we could celebrate a victory as well. It came 12.5 years later.
Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
Yes! My favorite part. I am the founder of The Cultured Mom. To give a little backstory, my son was 12 and I was freaking out he was turning 13. You hear the scary stories that parenting teens are greatly challenging and you might lose them to the world. That scared me and honestly, I just couldn’t possibly see myself parenting at the new stage of life. During one of my anxiety episodes, I felt like the Lord reminded me He was with me before throughout the years and He will be there to guide me if I call on Him. That gave me peace and it calmed me down. Back to the life coach, it was during one of our sessions that she was pulling ideas out of mem we came up with The Cultured Mom (shout out to Casey). The purpose of TCM is to provide content that will glorify God by engaging in wholesome dialogs and discussions, creating healthy boundaries, and maintaining a rock-solid connection with your child while helping them grow into the person they were created to be. This platform serves only as a tool to help build a stronger relationship with my son and help other moms do the same as we enter this new season of life called the teenage stage. It is one method that I am using to keep me and my son connected and accountable while helping other parents and their children build stronger bonds and accountability with one another.
What has been the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?
Don’t compare your journey with someone else’s. I had a bad habit of comparing my current situation to someone else’s journey not knowing how they got there. It was a disservice to myself, to God, and whoever else was rooting for me. It robbed me of time, and an opportunity to grow. I felt like I had to hurry up and get to the next step, but I didn’t. My journey was my journey and “their” journey was “their” journey. Another lesson was, some people will see your value and potential but they will treat you to the degree that you see yourself. See yourself higher and don’t let your current circumstances keep you thinking “it’s going to always be like that”.
Contact Info:
- Email: tcmpodcast365@gmail.com
- Website: https://www.theculturedmom.com/
Image Credits
Stacey Oluchi Photography
Chinsop Chong
