Today we’d like to introduce you to Ashanti Johnson.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Ashanti. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
Writing this is a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I grew up in church. My grandmother was a Sunday school teacher, my mother was a choir director and she’s always been a worship leader. So, church wasn’t an option for me, lol. I loved everything about the church, to the point where I baptized myself by jumping in the baptism pool one Sunday after service. Let’s just say the rod wasn’t spared that day. Me and my brother would play church in my grandmother’s den and, of course, I always wanted to be the teacher.
When I was nine, I joined church on my own and made my mother follow suit. I’ve known since I was nine that I was different but I always tried to force myself to fit in. 1817 Pilot way, Garland TX was where my journey started, 2601 B Duke circle, Rowlett, TX was where my foundation was laid. 2010, I denounced God because I was a freshman in college and I was so burned out on a structured church. I saw so much and experienced so much church hurt growing up, I just put God in the closet and tried to live my best life. I wasn’t successful. I heard God the entire time, I would always be put in places to mentor, to pray, to guide and, etc. I became a pageant coordinator in 2013 which required me to look in the mirror and ask myself who I was and who did I want to be. My biggest goal was to give my girls confidence, and God.
Now, a person who wants nothing to do with God opens and closes practices with prayer and guidance. Funny right?! In 2014, I lost my protector, the biggest thorn in my side, my oldest brother. I found myself on my face daily trying to understand and remain strong enough for my mother. 2016, I started my own women’s support group/ small group called Ruth’s Corner. I created a space for young adults to be open about their current spiritual and emotional struggles. It was more of a safe space for me.
In 2017, I finally went through it. Seven months full-blown walking depression. I had to walk away from toxic things that I didn’t view as toxic or destructive at the time. In that place, I saw the light! LMBO! God isolated me because my need for others approval started to override my need for his presence. In those seven months, I saw who I was, and who I created. A fraudulent version of myself I no longer wanted to Identify with. So, here I am today, struggling, lol, struggling to walk this thing out and be stretched past the point of comfort. Forcing trust to control the wheel and doubt to walk. Focusing on the transparency aspect of my ministry is really what I’m all about. My ultimate goal in my now is to be as transparent as possible in my videos, and in any conversation, I am having. My generation is leaving the church due to being tired of the same thing over and over. We hear a lot of hollering and shouting, but who is really teaching?
My biggest pet peeve that kick-started all of this was not being able to say things like “today, I don’t feel like God is good.” It’s was as if my brain had to accept that where I’m at is still supposed to feel “good” in a sense but once I started reading and seeking understanding I realized I could be honest and say this doesn’t feel good. Job pleaded with God several times, Jeremiah cried so much, the woman at the well was empty and searching to be filled. Yes, it was something they had to endure but they didn’t have to put up this facade that everything was always OK. For me, walking in transparency and allowing people to see my mistakes and my struggles means I’m showing them who I really am, but it’s also showing them that God can use you wherever you are, and there really is no right or wrong way to be in his presence. Millennials are looking for people who will just be honest and vulnerable about their experiences and why they still choose to follow God even when it looks like God is more like an enemy than a friend. Currently, that’s who I’m trying to be, a ratchet Millennial who loves God freely.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
It definitely has NOT been a smooth road. The biggest challenge I would say was accepting who I am. I struggled hard trying to force myself to fit into a group, I didn’t want to be placed in this box, we normally put church people in, so I stayed lukewarm and inconsistent. Being myself, my ratchet and righteous self-meant, I would potentially lose people who didn’t understand where I was or why I chose to serve God. That wasn’t a risk I wanted to take. I mean let’s face it, the church girl gets left out of all the fun things, no one wants you around because they feel like you’re judging them or they can’t be themselves due to their own personal convictions when you’re in the room. Now, I honestly don’t care. I had to realize if I continued to live my life striving to be accepted by people who fail daily I would never reach my full potential. Bible says put not your trust in man, and once I understood just how confused and lukewarm we are I realized, I was living for all the wrong reasons. I looked for other people to tell me who I was, what I could be, what I could wear, how I should talk, and all of it left me empty and unaware of who I really was. Daily, I struggle with how far do I want to go with this social media thing. When everyone has the same thing on 12 different sites, you start to question is yours really enough to help someone. Renewing my mind and being myself is the only key to my current platform, because just when you’ve mastered one task God sends 15 more, lol.
So, as you know, we’re impressed with Saved and Unbothered – tell our readers more, for example, what you’re most proud of and what sets you apart from others.
I am what some call a social media influencer. I, however, feel like I’m more of a mentor/big sister that you call when you need someone to pour into you. I am known for my one-minute videos on my Instagram. I make videos about God and everything he’s teaching me. On a personal level, I’m known for being righteous and ratchet. Which means I love trap music and Jesus! I am not afraid to be in worship, and I will lay out before the Lord, but if you turn on any Chris Brown or Lil Boosie song I rap every line as if I’m the rapper himself. What sets me apart is my transparency. I’m not afraid to be broken on camera, I’m not afraid, to be honest, and say when I’m doubting, and I just open myself for the world to see.
I think it’s important for my generation to see what it’s like to really walk with God. It’s hard, and it’s not this pain-free process, so I kind of feel like it’s my job to showcase what real surrendering and trust look like in your twenties. I say all the time I’m still trying to figure out why God chose me because I DID NOT ask for this, lol. I struggle daily, I backslide and I doubt myself a lot because of let’s face it, the internet is not always a nice place, but I constantly have to remind myself that “you have been chosen for such a time as this.” And what God is doing through me can’t be duplicated. It’s something he designed for me so the only thing I can do is continue to be stretched and separate myself by being nothing other than who God wants me to be. The thing I am most proud of would be my consistency. I’ve given up on myself many times before but for the last year, I’ve really hit the ground running and even when I want to give up, I keep pushing.
So, what’s next? Any big plans?
My plans for the future is to take it day by day. I’ll start to get ahead of myself and try to force things or I’ll try to make something out of nothing to speed up the process, and doing that I tend to put myself in a worse position than I was before. Taking it day by day means I expect nothing but what that day has to offer. I’m currently working on an online clothing store called “The Threshing Floor.” My goal is to launch in February of 2019. Of course, I’ll continue to post videos and do speaking engagements, but the only thing I really want to accomplish is creating a culture that allows millennials to be free in expression via the gospel and who they are.
Contact Info:
- Email: Ashanti.Dene@gmail.com
- Instagram: savedandunbothered
- Facebook: Denay Denn
- Other: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncSz7mep6es
Image Credit:
@sistashutterphotography
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