Today we’d like to introduce you to Contessa Akin.
Contessa, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
“Do you have a plan?” asked the lady on the other end of the phone. Sitting on the couch, my babies were climbing up my legs, smiling, patting me; I was gazing straight ahead, I was so numbed out that I didn’t even realize my husband called a suicide crisis hotline for me. Up to that moment, I had been a victim. I experienced a wide range of abuse in my entire life. At six years old, I was raped by a stranger, a rape that was facilitated by my biological mother and where my half-sister guarded the door. I was betrayed by the very people who were supposed to protect me and hold me dear.
The initial abuse led to the next abuse and the abuse after that. I attached myself to guilt instead of anger, shame instead of resentment, responsibility instead of blame. The world had taught me no one could be trusted, no one could be counted on, and no one would be there for me when I needed them most.
From a young age, I had been in counseling, attended group meetings, read the self-help books, been called to the school’s counselor office, joined the military, moved around the world. None of that made any difference. I was still in pain and super frustrated.
In that instant of hearing that questions, “Do you have a plan?” I had a thought that occurred that wasn’t about just me and my pain. I considered my kids just might get hurt. Killing myself would be betraying them. Just my biological mother betrayed me. I knew the pain that they would have to endure. So, I made a decision. I was going, to be honest with myself. Being honest was me opening the roadmap to a new possibility.
As I started the climb out of the darkness, I discovered a roadmap that took me from survival mode to trusting myself, having confidence and real self-love. The first stop was being honest with myself and recognizing that while I may have been victimized, I didn’t have to live permanently as a victim. What came next was a beautiful process that allowed me to let go peacefully without sinking too far into the heavy emotions that came after being abused.
It was in letting go I felt taller. I thought I rose above and understood what it means to rebel in the best possible way. I now had a voice that was saying, “You don’t own me!” I felt a release, the clarity to start crafting a life I wanted to live in, not one I wanted to escape from.
This has led me to continue to seek out the best training to further improve the road map and tools that prove to be most effective in healing those who have experienced sexual trauma/abuse and client after client who has been through the same continue to experience healing, confidence, joy, peace, and ease, as a result, they get to be the role models for their kids they once thought impossible, they have a voice, share their opinions without fear or hesitation, they trust themselves so completely that they bring safety with them no matter where they are or the circumstances they are in. Once I figured out how to heal I then started teaching other women who’ve experienced abuse how they can do the same.
I watched their confidence soar too! That’s when I knew I was on to something and I made a commitment to using my voice and to dedicate my professional life to helping other survivors use their voice too.
Over the past 14 years, I’ve worked with many private clients to release the burden of shame, guilt, and regret and gain confidence strength and live with peace. I live my dream of raising my babies, being an example for them, helping other survivors heal, experience real self-love and healthy, safe, loving, vibrant relationships.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
I’ve felt like I was broken, triggered by everything around me and it was going to take forever to heal and start enjoying my life. I was frustrated with my lack of results while I watched others fit in, look confident and enjoy their life. I was winging it, trying to piece things together on my own. Feeling at peace was harder than I expected.
I lacked the strength I needed. I struggled with doubting myself. If felt so personal when people said “no.” I felt so alone like I was the only person on the planet experiencing the struggles, the doubt, the revictimization of doing what all the books said with no final destination in sight.
I remember lying in bed, crying, feeling like a failure, like nothing will ever change, thinking it will always be like this, when my baby called out, “Momma, I need help.” I sat up and realized. I too needed help.
We’d love to hear more about your work.
I help survivors have safe, loving, healthy, vibrant relationships by healing childhood wounds. I don’t utilize a traditional approach. I am a Rebel at heart and women who are ready to rise like a Phoenix are who find me, rebels themselves. A traditional approach just doesn’t suit us.
The rebel aspect is what I am known for and being a rebel might not be what you think. It’s not a go out and break the law kind of Rebel. Being a rebel is about taking a stand for yourself, it’s about not buying into the stories we tell ourselves long after the event occurred, it’s about embracing these three rules all for you, by you:
1. Engage your Rebel Spirit
2. Kick-Ass and Take Names Later
3. Fight! Defy! Prevail!
I created a roadmap, aka GPS to help “Rebels Rise” from my life lessons, ten years of education, and 14 years of insights gained from heart-centered coaching. I include fire walking, broken glass walks, somatic sessions, a beautiful blend between concrete methods with a little woo-woo too.
Has luck played a meaningful role in your life and business?
I equate luck to opportunity. Imagine we are face to face and I hold up a $100 bill and tell you if you have a $20 we can exchange it, no strings attached…. Would you be able to take advantage of that opportunity?
For me, I do my best to prepare myself to jump on opportunities that I am not yet aware of. We perceive luck as someone who took that $100 bill but forgot they were ready for the opportunity by having a $20 bill.
Every year I engage with new training, a new way to look at information, healing, trauma, so I am prepared. It just looks lucky when I am the one who serves someone in an unexpected way.
When it comes to the rebels, who come my way, eager for safe, healthy relationships they are prepared up to that point. We do all the work necessary for them to have what they want in life, which prepares them to be in the best position to take advantage of the opportunity when its in front of them. Luckily, the opportunity they are the same thing to me.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.LessonsFromAdversity.com
- Email: coaching@contessaakin.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/rebel.rising.LFA/
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