Today we’d like to introduce you to Destinee Turner.
Destinee, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
In 2014 my family and I relocated to Dallas from my hometown, Texarkana AR. My mother relocated for better opportunities for my autistic brother. I transferred from Texarkana College (TC) to University of Texas at Arlington (UTA) for my junior year of college. Being on my own I found myself having a hard time managing time, bills, grades and ultimately myself. Life began to be a daily struggle. Mid-semester I was diagnosed with bipolar, depression and anxiety disorder. By this time, I had completely isolated myself from my family and friends.
During this tough time, my boyfriend was the only person I shared my time with. He felt like my savior and seem to be the answer to all my questions. It was a cliché love story until I found out he was lying about the lifestyle he was portraying. Unfortunately, I was already mentally and emotionally into him. Our relationship was very toxic both verbally and physically abusive. His infidelities seemed to be his thing and staying with him seemed to be mine. I finally told myself I must get out of this toxic relationship but at the same time wanted him to feel how I have felt not knowing it would change my life forever.
One night I went out partying with my friends with a city girl attitude ready to escape the pain. I remember just wanting to feel numb. I got what I wanted after being introduced to a drug called Zans. It was the worst outer body experience ever. I ended up in a motel room full of drugs and dealers. I just wanted this bad dream to be over and was too scared to call my mom. I called my now ex to come get me. Lucky, he pulled up the same time as the cops. I was able to leave before they arrested individuals involved. My ex took me to his mom’s home to sober me up. As I was blithering about what had happened, we began to fight about my dumb decision.
After he walked out the room, I sat in a dark corner with racing thoughts. I grabbed a box cutter off the dresser and lightly ran it down my arm thinking if I killed myself no one would care. I didn’t feel a thing. It was just a thought but looked down and saw nothing but blood. I stood up and my arm was busted into two pieces. There was nothing but muscle, blood and bone. Before collapsing to the floor, I called my ex. I woke up in a hospital bed and nurse beside me asking me if I tried to kill myself. I lied and said I fell. That was my story and I stuck to it. I laid there wondering how I got to this point and how I was going to explain my scar to the world.
The medication I was taking due to this incident made school harder and my addiction to self-sabotage even worse. I took a leave from school and separated myself from my ex. I was on a mission to find Destinee’; no pun intended. I realized then I had to save myself. I started attending counseling sessions but was referred to medication. Being that still to this day I am subconsciously scared of pills and their side effects I did not want to go that route. I had to find a positive way to express myself rather than self-harm. Instead of using my body, I use a canvas. My art reflects every inch of my emotions. Sharayxpressions was never a business idea. It was my efforts towards redemption.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I don’t know a road that is smooth. We all have bumps and bruises. We are human. I can name countless struggles, I still have struggles till this day. My struggles then was not realizing I victimized myself. I didn’t take responsibility for my actions. I wasn’t patient. I didn’t practice self-care. I wasn’t grateful with the things I had. Those bad habits kept me struggling. I had to go back to my roots, understand what comes with my name. Finding your truth is a struggle, daily. Sometimes you feel like you figured it out and others well, feel like all the rest of the days lol.
Tell us more about your art.
I just started at this art thing last year. I never had art lessons, but this was one way I could reflect my mood in a positive way. My goal was to paint a piece daily reflecting my mood. I must constantly remind myself that I am unique, and I must stay true to myself. My passion out ways my skillset. My art is freehand, vibrant and unpredictable. Art has allowed me to be transparent with my mental illness. My family does not even know my story behind my scar but through art, I can tell it.
In my art I am free. Mistakes don’t exist. I adjust and create magic with it. That has begun to reflect in my everyday life. I think people are beginning to see the change and passion that goes behind my art and that’s what sells. I started posting more of my art on social media. Many people would ask what inspired me and I would literally just talk about my day. Doing so I realize we all are human, even the ones smiling with 10k followers. So far, I have sold a little over 20 pieces. I’m still building my brand. One of my goals is to educate people about mental health and self-love. Throughout my dark moments I know I can help others find light.
Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
I genuinely find joy in making other people smile. I try to give back and show love to all There is so much power in service
I have not seen my best day ever and I will say that until I die. Art was just God’s way of saying he heard my cry. If I wasn’t open and transparent with my journey my art wouldn’t mean much of anything.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.sharayxpressions.com/
- Phone: 2145630881
- Email: dessharaypaints@icloud.com
- Instagram: Instagram.com/desharay_
Image Credit:
Victoria Aleman
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