Today we’d like to introduce you to Estelle Hermansen.
Estelle, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
When I was about 9ish-10 something shifted and depression hit. At the time, I didn’t know it was depression and I looked over it. I was on American Horror Story Roanoke and Transparent and that distracted me for a bit. However, when that was over it crept back in me again. In 2016, a couple of my friends had committed suicide and that was a really hard time for not just me but my whole family. In 2017, that was when the body dysmorphia and eating disorders hit. I saw my body in a different way everyone else did. I stopped eating and started overexerting my body. I had depression, eating disorders, dysmorphia, and anxiety which created a poisonous cocktail.
At this point, I was at an all-time low and going through the motions. I have always been very independent and determined, I remember sitting in my mom’s car in a parking lot and breaking down crying and didn’t give specifics and just said: ” I need to go to a therapist!” My mom had no idea what was going on, as I said before I’m an actress so I am very good at putting on a mask to cover up my insecurities which is a blessing and a curse. I went to a therapist who did nothing for me. At this point, my depression was getting horrible and suicidal thoughts kicked in and that is when the self-harm started. The pain in my head was so bad I wanted something else to hurt worse than my mind. I remember I was sitting on the couch and something clicked and I thought if I keep this up I’m going to kill myself one way or another. I came clean to my parents, and I decided to help myself. I found an amazing psychiatrist that got me on an antidepressant and a vitamin, which was a game changer.
From there, recovery started. I started doing affirmations, journaling, meditation, working out and a healthy diet. Hannah Fobare, CEO of HEF Recovery once told me “Recovery is a way of life.” Which I still live by those words. The recovery was a long and hard journey and I still am dealing with it and I have my ups and down. Once, I was better I realized I’m not alone millions of people are dealing with mental illness now more than ever. I needed to do something, that is how Organized Mess Podcast was born, turning my mess into my message. Living in the millennial age with unideal beauty standards, face-tune, social media and having the stigma around mental illness. Well, I am here to say it’s ok not to be ok! I interview ordinary people with extraordinary stories. To let people know they are NOT alone. I have your back, correction we have your back!
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
No, I had all the materialistic things a girl could ask for a sister, parents, roof over my head, food on the table, good education, I was living out my dreams, I was on an award-winning show and yet mental illness still chose me. I am a believer in god, however, in my tough times, I hated him. Because I did everything right, why me? Why me? But, finally I realized why not me?
Please tell us about Organized Mess Podcast.
I have a podcast called Organized Mess because we are all an organized mess. I would not wish mental illness upon anyone however, I am so glad it happened to me. During that time it sucked and I had to grieve my old self and find myself again, which I am still doing. But, I have a whole new perspective on life and now I can help people by letting them know they’re not alone. I believe things happen for a reason and there were two paths and I chose the right one. What makes my podcast different? My podcast is from the P.O.V of a teen living in the 21st century where losing weight is a selling point and we have social media and face-tune where you change your whole appearance. They’re children growing up seeing unideal beauty standards and saying “That’s what I need to look like.” People are abusing social media where we can do so much good with it and reach so many people but we aren’t, which is the first issue.
If you had to go back in time and start over, would you have done anything differently?
Nothing, I believe I had this experience to help other people and to have a new perspective. It was a horrible time and I would not wish it upon my worst enemy; however, I am so blessed that it did happen.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.organizedmesspod.com
- Email: organizedmesspod@gmail.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/organizedmesspod_/
- Other: https://www.instagram.com/estellehermansen/
Image Credit:
Grid Vongpiansuksa
Getting in touch: VoyageDallas is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.
