Today we’d like to introduce you to Mary Farmer.
Mary, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
I spent fifteen years in an incredibly abusive relationship. We had one child together. In 2002 there was one final assault that resulted in me finally fleeing for good. There was a change in his behavior that night and I was convinced that he was going to kill me, our daughter and himself. I made up in my mind that the next morning that I didn’t want to be another sad story on the 5:00 news. My daughter and I fled into hiding at a shelter and my ex-husband was subsequently arrested for attempted murder for that assault. It was a long, terrifying process to recover from that and to rebuild my life. After the criminal process was completed and our divorce was finalized, my daughter and I relocated to Texas to try to rebuild our lives.
It didn’t take long for me to start feeling an indescribable need to give back in my community and to make sure no one ever goes through what I did without someone there to help them. I began volunteering with a couple of non-profits who provide similar services to what I received and I learned everything I could. I went on to found my own non-profit and I spent about 14 years working as a victim advocate and developing programs to assist victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. I have since left doing full-time crisis work as the stress was starting to wear on me physically and emotionally. I now continue on as a life coach and faith-based counselor. I also continue to share my story through educational seminars, public speaking events and interviews to continue to raise awareness and to help fight the good fight to end domestic violence once and for all in society.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
The journey has NOT been an easy one! First, I had to overcome my own trauma and self-doubt. I had to find the courage to actually speak out and find my own voice before I could ever be a voice for someone else. I had to overcome the fear of retaliation from my ex-husband and his family. We live in a community that had never had a program like this offered so there were stereotypes to overcome, misconceptions, the good ole boy mentality, and simply the politics surrounding the topic. I also found that much of society, if not personally impacted by abuse, had no idea of how prevalent this topic was directly to them. For instance: how it impacts businesses around them from employees missing work, how it affects taxpayers when our tax dollars go to pay for medical care and services for victims, not to mention the silent victims who we know and interact with everyday.
As opportunities started to open for public speaking, I have had the privilege to speak in numerous high schools and speak to literally hundreds of students. It quickly became apparent how truly important it is for us to reach these kids and educate them as the highest risk age group for domestic violence is ages 16-24. Many of these kids have never seen a healthy relationship modeled for them so how can we expect them to go out and recognize healthy verses unhealthy if they’ve never seen it modeled? Domestic violence in 100% learned behavior. That in itself is terrifying! These are just some of the basic struggles.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I have become known as the ‘domestic violence lady’. People come to me privately from all over the country with questions for resources or what to do in a certain situation. As I am not currently doing crisis work, I have taken a different stance and have focused more on inner healing and overcoming the impact of trauma through life coaching individuals. I am also a country Christian recording artist and my music allows me such a vast opportunity to take my message of hope to the world in multiple formats and stages. I think what sets me apart is the overwhelming transformation of my life that brings hope to others who may not be there yet. I am also very real and transparent, which makes me very relatable to others. My heart is to truly see others succeed and see their own dreams come true.
So, what’s next? Any big plans?
I also work for the Inspirational Country Music Association in Nashville, Tennessee. I have such a great opportunity to reach out around the country and touch people’s lives in a positive way through this position. It’s an honor for me to be behind the scenes as well as cheering on amazing artists and ministers around the country. We have some amazing community events in our future plans. I am currently working on launching a podcast and YouTube series for women. My goal is to eventually have a positive, upbeat talk show where we can talk about real-life issues of today and give insight and wisdom from others with expertise in that field. A 2nd book is also in the works about the power of positive thinking and mindsets.
Contact Info:
- Phone: 214-980-8897
- Email: maryfarmerfm@gmail.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryfarmerministries
Image Credit:
Amanda Featherston
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