Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa Rock.
Hi Melissa, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
I have always liked to prove to myself and to others that I could do what they thought I could not. Growing up as a Latina in the south there are stereotypes that people always associate with you because of how you look or where you are from. I was the first in my family to get a Master’s Degree and that was not enough for me and decided that I could do more and be more. I was married to my husband and he was stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, serving in the Army. He loved his job and spoke with great pride about everything he did. I decided that I would become an Officer in the Army because I wanted to serve my country and saw it as an opportunity to learn valuable career skills and further educate myself.
My husband and I always had a running joke that he would have to salute me every time he saw me because I would outrank him. He has always been supportive of my dreams, career, and education goals. We were both raised in families who had served. His parents and my dad served and I saw it as an honorable and noble profession. I joined when my son was one years old and although it was exciting, it was difficult to leave for training. Throughout my career in the Army, I struggled with stereotypes of being a Latina, a woman, and not being accepted for either one of those labels. I thought that in this world, it would be different since everything was based on performance and rank, but I was mistaken. I also saw that many women struggled being mothers and having families in the military. There was not the same sisterhood for women in the military as there was a brotherhood for men. I served ten years in the military before I decided to leave so that I could take care of my family. I decided to start a blog showcasing women’s experiences in the military. These women are brave sharing their personal stories some good, some bad and some are just ugly, but they are their own unique experiences.
Through sharing their experiences, they are giving advice and tips to women in the military or women interested in serving. These women come from all cultural backgrounds, all branches of the military, and are all different ages. It is interesting to see how the military has changed in some aspects and how it has stayed the same in other areas over the years. I am also working on a fictional book about a Latina character and her female friends’ struggles and successes in the military. It is like Clueless meets GI Jane. They are all learning how to navigate the military from their various perspectives because they are from different cultures and have vastly varying backgrounds. I think it is important to showcase women in the military in a true and honest light.
There are a lot of military memoirs and fictional stories about men, but there is not much for the women. When they do show women in the military it is through the lens of books and shows such as “Army Wives,” which showcases the spouses and not the women in uniform. Unfortunately, I feel like the only time we see military women spotlighted it is because of terrible events such as sexual assaults or other heinous crimes. Those crimes and that behavior needs to stop, and it is important to showcase that information so that there can be positive change for women in the military, but there are also women in the military achieving great things and I think that needs to be celebrated and shared. This blog and this book is about women supporting women because there is enough to go around for all of us to be successful. I truly do not believe in the scarcity mindset, and imagine how positively affected our family, our communities, our businesses, and our elected officials would be if we believed and supported one another.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
There have been many struggles along the way. I think that some women are afraid to share their stories or report events because of fear of how they will be viewed or how their careers will be affected. I know I had a hard time in the military because I would say something when I thought something was wrong even when it was not popular, and it cost me. I wrote up an investigation of a higher enlisted soldier having inappropriate relationships with lower enlisted soldiers and presented my findings based on the testimonies of the lower enlisted in the inappropriate relationships proving the accusations to be correct. I was told to change my findings to not get this good solider in trouble by my superior officers. I did not; they overruled my findings and sent me to another unit.
I also struggled trying to find balance with my career and family because soldiers work long hours when they are state side and they also have to deal with deployments. This work environment is stressful to families and marriages and was an issue my family had to deal with. That was part of the reason I decided to leave the military as well. I wanted a career, but I also wanted to balance my family life along with that. I felt like I had to choose. Be a great mom and a terrible solider or be a great solider and a terrible mom. Men in the military and other careers can do both with no judgement be great fathers and have an amazing career so why can’t women have it all too! That is a stereotype women I think in general deal with constantly being judged for their family and career choices. If you want to stay at home with your children great, if you want to work and have a family that is awesome too. I do not think any mothers in these situations should be judged when they are doing what is best for their family. The battle of the working mom versus the stay-at-home mom needs to stop and women just need to support each other and their decisions or just keep your negative comments to yourself.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I have recently finished my PhD in Criminal Justice and I currently work creatively on my book and blog. I specialize in showcasing military women and sharing their stories and providing tips and resources for women in the military or women who are interested in joining the military. There are not as many mentorship programs to help women join the services and I hope that this blog will show them that they are not alone and women before them have done it and they can too. These women not only share their stories and advice, but are open to answer questions from women who want to join the services.
I think what sets me apart is focusing on multicultural women’s experiences in the military. I have not seen another website, blog or book series with a similar platform. I also do not filter any of the women’s experiences, they are allowed to share as much or as little as they want to share. I am most proud of sharing these experiences and novel because it is hard to put yourself and your story out there for other people to judge and criticize. These women are brave for sharing their stories and I think the more we talk about this the better it will get for women. If we do not talk about and say what the problem is and then share solutions as to how we think it can get better, than it will never get any better for the women serving now or after them. Not only are true stories shared, but also we provide tips and solutions on how we think we can make it better. I am grateful that these women allowed me to capture their stories and share with anyone who is willing to listen.
Is there any advice you’d like to share with our readers who might just be starting out?
My advice would be to be authentically yourself and do not listen to all the static telling you can’t do something or who are you to try to do this. The business idea or goal you have may have other competitors on the market, but they are not you and cannot make a product or deliver a service like you can because you have different experiences and viewpoints that make you unique. Therefore, your business idea, service, or product is equally unique. Just try, and never see anything as a failure see it as a learning experience or that there will be a better opportunity out there for you. We see everything as succeed or fail and I think it needs to be seen as learning, growing and experimenting. One of my favorite quotes is “There are no failures – just experiences and your reactions to them.” – Tom Krause.
Contact Info:
- Email: melissa@mjrockauthor.com
- Website: https://www.mjrockauthor.com/
- Instagram: mjrockauthor
- Facebook: @MJRockAuthor
Image Credits
Special thanks to Giovanna Camacho and Melanie Woodruff.
