Today we’d like to introduce you to Rosalind “Roz” Alford.
So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I’ve spent a lifetime trying to forget a few moments of my childhood… Violence, abuse, rejection… Molestation started for me at a very early age. I believe I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade. Predators are not always the boggy man! For me, this person was someone I trusted as well as my family. The abuse progressed quickly and began to happen on a daily occurrence.
I remember sometimes thinking I could hide in the middle of the night by slipping into bed with my cousin or sleeping in the closet hoping he wouldn’t find me. This never worked. I endured this abuse for an entire school year. I was experiencing challenges with behavior and grades, but no one ever asked if something was wrong. It was assumed that I was being a lazy student and a child with a bad attitude. While other kids were happy that summer was here I was terrified because I thought summer meant that things would happen more frequently. The 1st week of summer proved to be what I thought and I was so sick of him, his scent and grimy fingernails taking me from my bed at night bed night after night. I decided it was time to get out of there. I ran away from home, praying that someone would rescue me because anything had to be better than staying with this monster of a person.
Of course, I was found because I only knew how to get to and from the school. I was at my elementary school Harrell Budd sitting on a swing crying. Out of all people, the predator was the one to come find me. He threw over his shoulder as he walked me back home and whispered in my ear; you will never get away from me. Thankfully I was sent to stay with family for the summer and I would not have to see this monster again until I was 12. The 1st chance he got he was back at it. This time I was definitely old enough to know right from wrong. The next morning I shared with my mom what occurred. She immediately called the police and took me to the hospital. He served his small sentence and was released a few years later.
Unfortunately, this monster isn’t the only one that has violated my trust, body, and soul. Two additional close family friends would violate me before the most traumatic event happened that changed the course of my life and not for the better. At the age of 14, I was raped by two armed men whom lived within my soul daily for over 25 years. You know why? It’s because each of them violated me. I was functioning in my dysfunction. I now realize that I’m so much more than a rape victim or a victim of sexual assault.
Here is the exert from the Dallas Morning News article after he was sentenced…
Publish Date: November 18, 1994, Word Count: 112 Document ID: 0ED3D518769F13BC Man given two life terms in Red Bird-area robbery Jurors sentenced Dallas resident Harvey Leon Slaughter to two life prison terms Thursday for a robbery last December in which he stole a family’s Christmas presents and raped a 14-year-old girl. Mr. Slaughter, 23, was one of two men who forced their way into the Red Bird-area apartment of X at gunpoint last Dec. 14. The men sexually assaulted the girl, then left with videocassette recorder, several packages from the Christmas tree and $9 in cash. The second man has not been identified. Mr. Slaughter will serve the life sentences simultaneously and must serve at least 30 years before he is eligible for parole.
Yes, you are correct I said, 5 different men/abusers. I refuse to share the story of each one today. You know why? Today I decide to give more power to the journey of triumph vs. the loss of myself to the abuse. What I will tell you is that as a survivor you Need No One to validate your experience! You may hear I don’t believe you; you made him do it. And much more. You will receive lots of judgment, but your voice has to be louder than the crowd! Take your voice back. Learning to give myself permission to heal, use my voice appropriately, and being an advocate for myself and others like myself is what has given me the strength to walk victoriously.
Let me be clear there is truly a misconception that not talking about your experience helps one to move on and to forget. For me not talking about it gave life to the unspoken. Silence allowed the darkness to manifest in many areas of my life. It affected multiple relationships such as with my parents, spouse, children, career and most importantly my relationship with SELF. I realized that it was necessary that I heal mentally and emotionally from the inside out. Not talking about it only gives the inner pain a reason to act out. It’s going to come out one way or another; rather it’s misdirected anger, self-doubt, mistrust, mistakes or some other way. Untreated Sexual assault can manifest in many ways. For me, I saw myself less than who I was. I said to Nikki you aren’t smart enough to go to college, you’re not pretty enough to date him, you aren’t good enough to demand respect. I struggled with looking at myself in the mirror and on some days I still do. From the outside, you couldn’t tell that I was dead. Inside I was a broken mess, wounded by the world. What the world sees as anger, bitter, spitefulness was really self-hate.
We must take time to rediscover ourselves when healing from sexual abuse. Be gentle with yourself.
2016 I realized the little girl that lives in me is still there grieving herself, looking for validation, looking for love, she is sad, vulnerable, uncertain, unworthy, more importantly, she fights herself daily. I grew up faster than some others due to this abuse, in doing so, I had to find strength in allowing the 14-year-old and the now 40 year Roz become one. Last year on the day of the anniversary of the rape I went to the apartment complex and had a balloon release in an effort to celebrate newfound peace and strength in celebrating that I have found grace and purpose in what I survived. Girlz like Roz grow up too fast because life has forced us to in one way or another.
Recovery is a process and it’s different for everyone. Healing has no timeline. Anxiety is a common trait for survivors. Each journey will be different. Others have told me to shut up about it, let it go and it shouldn’t be a problem after all these years. What they all have in common is being blessed to never endure being compromised and abused sexually. YES, these people want the best for me, but having dealt with this first hand sometimes words from others made the pain worst. Remember words can harm also.
To describe these incidents seem so unreal but these circumstances no longer define me as a person. I vow to no longer live dying slowly. My days as a victim or over!! I vow to live as a survivor fighting daily to live thru it. I’m driven by my pain to help other young ladies to live life to their best potential. Surviving isn’t enough my heart for the survivor is to help them thrive.
As I began to truly love myself, I began to change. The things I once desired, things that I thought provided my existence and created my identity I no longer craved. My longing to be loved was no more… I still struggle with my outer appearances, but I no longer look in the mirror and see a foreign object I see a woman who is whole, living, loving, forgiving, knowledgeable, a victor, a groundbreaker, a CEO, a daughter, wife, mother, friend, but most of all I SEE ME.. Flaws and all and I see now I’m enough because I’m worthy of being loved in spite of my imperfections.
Gods WILL, will never take you to a place where he can’t protect you. I now realize that It’s over and done and I no longer have to relive it!
My daily take away is that it’s definitely okay to not be okay, however, it’s not okay to say you’re okay when you aren’t.
Girlz Like Roz was established December 2016 after being Driven By My Pain to finally take the journey of healing from the aftermath of my trauma associated with sexual abuse. The foundation is dedicated to all that are on the journey of healing or those who have loved ones that are suffering and searching for a village of love, support, and compassion. It’s my heart’s desire to provide a safe haven for any survivor that needs a safe place to speak their truth. In sharing my pain, I hope to prevent someone from being in a sunken place for as long as I was. If I can help one person find self-love, confidence, strength and or the courage to survive another day I would have fulfilled my life’s purpose.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
The road isn’t and hasn’t been easy as this isn’t a path that one chooses, This path is often painful, because you encounter young ladies that are in a place of dysfunction and brokenness and most likely will fight you along the way to get to the place where they are mentally and emotionally whole and free. The process to get to freedom is much like grieving as you lose yourself along the way or you just become stagnant in the time or place that the abuse occurs.
I am in the process of becoming nonprofit, however, this is new for me so educating myself as well as connecting with the correct individuals that will share helpful information and or resources can also be a hindrance.
Girlz Like Roz is in the process of looking for ten local teens and young ladies ages of 13-21 to commit to the program for one year beginning May of 2019 to take the journey of self-discovery and healing. This has proven to be the biggest obstacle as no one wants to be connected with something so personal, shameful. It’s hard to get a parents to sign their children up for such programs as they are shamed that this has occurred.
So, as you know, we’re impressed with Girlz Like Roz – tell our readers more, for example, what you’re most proud of as a company and what sets you apart from others.
GLR’s mission is to build a resourceful community of individuals that can come together with integrity, trust, and fulfillment to connect in ways that may otherwise stifle us from healing from our past.
GLR’s mission is to change the future for all who struggle with rape, molestation, incest and abandonment during this time. We will lead the way by empowering victims of child abuse, sexual assault, and human trafficking to move from Crisis to Confidence.
Sexual abuse advocacy, and support from survivors to other survivors.
I’m grateful that I can now look back at where I was failed as a victim and reach within and provide help, awareness, education, and support to young ladies and take the journey from victim to survivor. It is my hope that victims not live 25 years in a place of hopelessness, but in hope and in love.
So, what’s next? Any big plans?
Life experience has been the greatest experience for Roz. She experienced sexual trauma from the young age of 7 to the age of 14. Roz’s transparency and willingness to fully support victims in their journey to healing has proved that the life experience that she has endured cannot be learned or taught as she has turned her pain into purpose. In addition to advocacy for survivors for the last ten years, Roz has served as a Human Resources Business Leader which allows her to provide services and resources for individuals in many capacities.
GLR is working towards the completion of a Teen’s Survivor’s Workbook titled The Transformation of the Butterfly
I would like to get in the schools and mentor so looking to get this implemented for the next school year.
GLR will be hosting an event called The Bag Lady, that will not only be for women that have experienced sexual abuse, but for those that are carrying the weight of life which has held them back from being successful in many areas of life.
An upcoming Women’s Workshop Entitled the Transition of the Butterfly is in the planning stages. This workshop will be for women that are stifled in areas and need clarity from women that can empower, encourage and motivate the path to growth, healing and freedom!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://girlzlikeroz.org
- Phone: 4694019668
- Email: girlzlikeroz@gmail.com
- Instagram: girlzlikeroz_
- Facebook: @girlzlikeroz
Image Credit:
Sherilyn Powell, Tonia Pleasant SnappedbyTP
Getting in touch: VoyageDallas is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.
