Today we’d like to introduce you to Dr. Trillion Small.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Dr. Small. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
I am a multi hyphenate so I will first tell you the many things I am working on and then jump back to how I got started. So, I currently have a doctorate in Clinical Counseling, I am a licensed mental health clinician, a certified John Maxwell coach, an author of five books, the owner of my own publishing company called They Speak Publishing, a TEDx speaker, the Founder/CEO of Attachment Leadership, LLC and the Founder/CEO of my non-profit called Prepare Academy. I am also the Texas Lead Organizer for Van Jones’ (CNN Political Commentator) national organization called #Cut50. Now, while it sounds like I am doing many things, my common thread remains the same for everything I do and that is my mission to change the hearts and minds of people. It is my mission in life to encourage and help people to shift their perspectives in such a way that it improves their lives and to help them heal from any lingering hurt that the past may have inflicted.
How I got into the mental health field and began writing:
All of this truthfully got started because I failed out of a class in college. Isn’t it funny how closed doors and failures end up pointing you in the right direction? I actually started off as a biology major in college because I was planning on being a pediatrician. I was taking so many science courses and barely passing many of them, one course in which the professor told me I should just take an incomplete and try again next semester. I did try again that following year just to clear the “Incomplete” on my transcript but that failure really made me wonder, “am I really cut out for this?”
I began praying and asking God why I was failing and why I no longer loved the subjects that I use to. I mean I graduated high school ranking in the top 20 of a fairly large class so I knew I was no dummy. His answer was very clear to me. I had a knowing in my heart that said, “you hate it and you are not excelling in this area because it is not your area of passion or purpose.” With that knowledge, I went to my advisor and changed my major to my second favorite subject, which was psychology. From this experience, my first book called Internal Navigator: Basic Steps to Get You From Point A to Point B was birthed (I just published the 2nd edition). I wanted to help people find their purpose and way without wasting time if I could help it.
Now, if I wasn’t going to be an M.D. I knew I still wanted to be a doctor of some sort so I set out to reach the highest degree in my field; and that was a Ph.D.
I chose to counsel because I love studying relationships and I love helping people with their problems. I also enjoy continually increasing my own self-awareness and this field definitely allows me to search my heart and mind for areas of growth.
It wasn’t an easy road, however. At first, I didn’t think I had problems. Really I didn’t. I thought since I was excelling on the outside everything was just fine! But it wasn’t! I just had a really strong façade that was even fooling me. I had answers for everyone else, except myself. I won’t keep you long with all of the details but after a few failed relationships you begin to ask yourself, “what’s really going on?” At least, I did. I knew there had to be a common denominator… and that common denominator was me. I actually really began to realize this in my doctoral program while reading endless articles about past trauma and how it affects adult relationships. As you expect, I was seeing myself in just about every article. I would read symptoms of those who encountered a trauma and I’d think, “wow I do that and that and yep I do that too. Hmm, maybe I do have issues still lingering from my past.” And so the journey of self-exploration began. My second book, “The Caged in Heart: How Your Childhood Wounds are Affecting Your Adult Life” was then birthed.
I could go on and on of how I took my experiences and simply turned them into books but truthfully what I am doing is simply taking my pain points, creating content for them, and allowing other’s to have access to my failures and my ah-ha moments so that they can learn and heal just as I did.
I didn’t just choose what I am doing… it found me by way of pain and I’m loving every moment.
Everything else is an overflow:
All of my other entrepreneurial endeavors are simply an overflow of what I do in the mental health world. With Attachment Leadership, LLC, I help companies increase their Emotional Intelligence (mental health) and I help them create a more cohesive workplace environment (relational health). My non-profit, Prepare Academy also focuses on preparing at-risk youth (we call them at-potential youth) emotionally, mentally, relationally, and professionally to help divert them from the school-to-prison pipeline.
Non-profit world:
I started Prepare Academy because I wanted to help PREPARE youth to be able to regulate their emotions, build healthy relationships, avoid unnecessary pitfalls, and set them up for success in life. I love the quote by Frederick Douglas that states, “it’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” I don’t want us to continue this generational cycle of poverty, abuse, and incarceration. We can help be the change by equipping them while they are young.
I got into this work with Van Jones’ organization out of my love for youth and my desire to see the betterment of our communities; especially our browns and blacks.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
As I mentioned earlier, the road has not been easy. I would say the hardest part was getting real with myself and my issues. For the longest time, I didn’t realize I had “daddy issues” and me being oblivious to this fact was actually harming me even though I was unaware of it. It would affect my ability to trust people (personal and professional) and it especially hindered my ability to see myself the way God does. I use to tease myself by saying, “ I need to call the police on you for assaulting me every day.” I was my greatest enemy mentally. While on the outside, I looked like I had it all together, on the inside I was just as fragile as they come.
It wasn’t until my wall of defense began crumbling down (against my desires) that I realized I must deal with all of my past pain or it will eventually deal with me regardless! I use to think that I and everything I did had to be perfect. Now, there is nothing wrong with striving for excellence but my drive for perfection was actually rooted in the fear that I was not good enough. And that is an unhealthy striving!
While I thought I could separate my emotional health from my business health, I couldn’t. The health of our professional life really depends on the health of our personal life. So, my advice to any woman regardless of what path they are on and what level they are on is this, allow yourself the space to sit still long enough so that you can look back at your story and access whether there are any lingering issues that need to be addressed. I even talk about overcoming the fears that debilitate us in my TEDx called “Overcoming the Fear of Love.”
I’d also say to this woman that you do not have to be superwoman and it is okay to say that you are not okay. Many times we don’t ask for help because we naturally are the ones lending the help. But eventually, we may find ourselves burnt out if we don’t self-care.
Finally, my two words of advice I’d give is “forgive” and “surrender.” Forgive those who have hurt you, forgive the person for doing what they did and forgive them for not doing what you needed them to do. When we hold on to unforgiveness, we are metaphorically speaking putting bricks on our wings. And those bricks prohibit us from soaring high like the eagles of strength that we are. And surrender… surrender what you had in mind, surrender to the process, and surrender trying to be in control. Live in the moment and the most important moment is NOW. Worrying about tomorrow won’t change tomorrow by one millisecond.
As I have learned to surrender, I have found so much more peace and joy in my life. And to be honest, opportunities come to me much easier with minimum effort on my end. I am simply learning to flow as life comes and I am truly reaping the benefits and I truly desire that for all the men and women reading this too.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I am a mental health clinician with a private practice in North Texas. My area of expertise is trauma. I am also an author, leadership trainer, and speaker. I enjoy writing and speaking about mental health topics such as stress, mental illness (i.e. anxiety, depression, & PTSD), and overall self-leadership. The most rewarding parts of what I do, that makes me the proudest, is simply hearing people share how something I said or wrote helped them to see their life from a different perspective and how it has helped them to heal in a certain area. When I encounter people it is truly my goal to make sure they leave my presence with a change of heart and/or a change of mind for the better. That’s what I call success.
I practice what I preach when it comes to leading from the heart and I truly do try my best to be sure that I am meeting the needs of my clients and customers. I believe what sets me apart from others is that I truly do care for those that I come in contact with. That may sound simple but I have learned that love goes a long way and people appreciate the care and genuineness.
Which women have inspired you in your life?
I have drawn inspiration from many women personally or from the books they have written. One of the main women that I’d like to highlight is my mom. She demonstrates unconditional love like no other. She is my biggest cheerleader and supporter. We talk every day and sometimes just hold the phone while doing house choirs. We don’t live in the same state so I enjoy those random hold the phone moments with her. She has inspired me to see no limits. She has taught me to ask for what I want and to be assertive about it. She is even an amazing stylist so much of my style has been inspired by her; such a fashionista. She’s the best thing since sliced bread, so I nominate her as the most inspiring woman.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.trillionsmall.com
- Email: info@trillionsmall.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drtrillionsmall/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TrillionSmall/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/trillionsmall
- Other: https://www.theyspeakpublishing.com
Image Credit:
Kauwane Burton
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