Today we’d like to introduce you to Tiffany Finley.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Tiffany. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
I’ve been married to my husband, Derek, nine years this October. We conceived our 5-year-old rainbow baby, IVF (Invitro Fertilization) miracle, and feisty, NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) warrior in June 2012. Prior to marrying my best friend, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). PCOS is a hormonal disorder that causes a woman to experience little to no monthly periods, and interferes with a woman’s ovulation, thus making it difficult to conceive. It’s one of the leading causes of infertility among 1 in 10 women.
After my diagnosis in my mid-20’s my husband (then fiancé) and I knew that we’d need help trying to conceive. Our journey to parenthood began in May 2011 with a Fertility Specialist. After confirming my diagnosis, we went on to begin trying to expand our family. We went through four cycles of IUI (Intrauterine Insemination) and two of those four cycles were successful but ended in two ectopic miscarriages six months apart. Following our doctor’s recommendations, we moved forward with pursuing IVF. Derek and I completed our first fresh cycle that was unsuccessful in May 2012.
We then went on to do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in June 2012 that gave us the most wonderful news! We were pregnant with our miracle, and so grateful to God! I was excited but afraid to embrace my new journey of pregnancy due to my experiences with miscarriage. It was as if I was holding my breath waiting for something to happen. I was so consumed with fear that I couldn’t fully enjoy the precious gift that was growing on the inside of me. It just felt too good to be true, yet it was indeed my reality. I got to 23 weeks of pregnancy before I was placed on strict hospital bed rest due to an incompetent cervix and a bulging water bag.
I’ll never forget going into my appointment on that day feeling excited about seeing our little boy and that excitement coming to a screeching halt after being told that I needed to be admitted into the antepartum unit immediately to keep pressure off my cervix and keep my son in utero for as long as possible. However, with all the best rest and doing my very best to keep my son from coming early, Caleb made his debut at 25 weeks gestation. He spent the first 114 days of his life in the NICU. We encountered a lot of challenges, setbacks, and were told several times that our son was “extremely sick.” Doctors didn’t think that he’d survive, but God said differently. He’s our living testament to the power, goodness, and faithfulness of God. He’s our little-predestined one, hence the name of my faith-based organization and ministry, My Predestined One.
Caleb’s the one that God has entrusted to my husband and me to parent, protect, nurture, love, and rear for His glory. It’s because of my arduous journey to him, and his fight for life, that a piece of my life’s purpose and calling was birthed as a founder of this ministry, and as author of my new book that released in August, A Fearless Journey to Motherhood: Fighting Fear with Faith During Infertility and Pregnancy. It’s a 10 day devotional and journal that will aid women through infertility and pregnancy to release the fears surrounding their journey and to embrace the truth of what God’s word says instead, thus enabling their faith in the Lord to be strengthened.
My Predestined One, formerly only known as my personal blog, “Waiting on My Predestined One,” began its conception in 2012. The blog helped me to continue to push forward in my pursuit of motherhood and to trust God’s plan for my journey to motherhood. It provided an outlet for me to transparently share my frustrations and joys about overcoming an infertility diagnosis and my life as a mother of a 25-week micropreemie. I wanted to help and encourage other women walking through infertility and the NICU using the word of God. I wanted them to trust God with their journeys, and trust His plan, and timing. The blog was created solely for that purpose, and to build a community of support for all women fighting alongside their predestined one (baby) in the NICU, or still in the waiting season for their predestined one.
A year or two after Caleb graduated from the NICU, God began speaking to my heart about starting an organization to help other women and couples that are facing fertility challenges, and life in the NICU. So, my blog’s name became the name of my organization. My Predestined One is a faith-based, non-profit organization located in Frisco, TX founded in February 2016. We are dedicated to providing support, resources, education, and faith-based encouragement to families affected by premature birth and loss, and infertility while bringing global awareness to these issues.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
My journey to my son wasn’t smooth at all. In fact, it was bumpy, tiring, and exhausting. It was filled with lots of tears, questions, anger, sadness, bitterness, hurt, feeling alone, and many times my faith in God weakened because I felt like it all was so unfair. I felt like I was being punished by God, and that He didn’t care about me. However, in hindsight, I now see how God was with me the entire journey to my son. He’d never abandoned me, and cared so much for me during that season of my life, as I endured tons of needle pokes, multiple ovulation-inducing medications and hormones that added pounds to my already curvy frame, numerous doctor appointments (sometimes 3-4 a week), two miscarriages, and watching my son fight for every breath for 114 days during his time in the NICU. There were many days that I struggled to trust God, and see the good in all that was happening on my journey to my son, and even during his premature birth.
Not only had I struggled and had to fight those 14 months to conceive him, but now I was fighting a different battle. I was fighting alongside him for his life. Caleb’s lungs and other organs were so undeveloped. He was intubated and on a ventilator for most of his stay in the NICU. It wasn’t until a little under a month before his discharge from NICU that he transitioned from intubation to a nasal cannula. Even then, there were many challenges with him learning to suck, swallow, and breathe during his feedings, and he also had to pass a car seat test before he could be discharged home. Once home, he still needed a little oxygen support and had to be monitored closely and we still had a plethora of doctor’s appointments with a specialist that he needed to see on a regular basis. But, we overcame and did it all!
My advice to any woman on their journey to motherhood whose been diagnosed with infertility is to find a doctor that will listen to you and take your questions and concerns regarding your fertility seriously. Do your own research and be your own advocate. No one knows more about your body and what it’s doing than you. Also, don’t isolate yourself during this time. Find and get connected to the community – others who are also walking the long, hard road of infertility, or the NICU. You are not alone. I know it feels that way, but you truly aren’t. There are many women out there, 1 in 8 to be precise, who gets infertility. Or, 1 in 10 who gets and understands what premature birth is, and how it affects you. There are so many local support groups for women and couples who are dealing with infertility, premature birth, and loss.
My Predestined One has an online fertility support group, as well as a preemie parent support group. We’ll be launching our local, peer-led, in-person support group in the next few weeks. If you’re not quite comfortable with joining a support group just yet, identify one or two individuals that you trust and can confide in. Allow these individuals to be there for you, and to support you during those mountaintop and valley moments. Additionally, meditate on what God’s word says about you becoming a mother, healing, comfort, peace, and strength. Meditating on the word, praying it over your specific situation, and applying it to your life will make all the difference in your journey, and relationship with the Father. The enemy’s lies can’t and won’t be able to grow stronger or louder than the voice of God’s truth when you’re feeding your spirit. Lastly, you are not your diagnosis. Your baby is not their diagnosis. You are so much more, and your baby is so much more.
Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about My Predestined One – what should we know?
With a Bachelors in Psychology and Masters in Social Work, it’s no surprise that I am passionate about helping and empowering others to overcome life’s challenges. It’s just a plus that I get to do this very thing through my own faith-based nonprofit organization, My Predestined One where I serve as founder and president. For me, it’s not work, but a ministry. Through this ministry, I get to renew the hope and strengthen the faith of women and couples around the world who are feeling hopeless, alone, and weak in faith. We get to help them overcome their fears surrounding trying to conceive, infertility, and premature birth of a baby and walk-in fearless faith while trusting God.
We are known for our quarterly Believing for The Promise Prayer Summits that consists of pure worship, hope & encouragement, and prayer & intercession over journeys. During each Prayer Summit, we have Hope Speakers who have walked the road of infertility, and are now on the other side of it, and have conceived their predestined miracles to share their story and testimony, while also sharing faith-based encouragement to renew the hope and strengthen the faith of other women and couples in attendance. There are intercessors to cover the women and couples in prayer as well. In addition, we also have our Monthly Worship & Prayer Gathering prayer calls every first Monday to cover in prayer the needs of those women and couples struggling to conceive due to an infertility diagnosis, and those affected by premature birth. Then, there’s our online Fertility and Preemie Parent Support groups, and our annual Making You Aware Event in recognition of PCOS & NICU Awareness Month this month that’ll be taking place on Saturday, September 15, 2018, from 3 – 5 PM at the Frisco Public Library.
What I’m most proud of, and what sets My Predestined One apart is our desire to not just provide support, resources, and awareness surrounding infertility and the NICU, but give women and couples Jesus. We desire to direct and push them closer to God. Not only has this set us apart, but the Believing for The promise Prayer Summits are so impactful and powerful. The feedback that we receive from women and couples being restored spiritually, and receiving exactly what they needed from God in their current season is the fuel behind why we host them.
What’s the most important piece of advice you could give to a young woman just starting her career?
The most important piece of advice I could give to a young woman just starting their career is to know your why. Whatever your why is, keep that at the forefront of your mind, and allow it to be your motivation and ambition because that’s what’s going to fuel you on those days when you feel like giving up or quitting. Also, don’t wait until every star aligns, and all of your ducks are in a row before you decide to walk in your purpose. Go after that dream, or start that career. The time is now. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect for you to walk in your purpose and calling, or achieve your goals and dreams. God has already given you all that you need, and whatever’s missing he’ll add that along the way too. Lastly, don’t let your fears stop you. Be courageous and do it afraid. Fear is deceptive.
Pricing:
- Believing for The Promise Prayer Summit early bird tickets are $17 and can be purchased at www.mypredestinedone.org/event. Registration includes a Hope Bag and T-shirt.
- Purchase A Fearless Journey to Motherhood Book for $16.99, or Ebook for $9.99 at www.tiffanyfinley.com.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.mypredestinedone.org, www.tiffanyfinley.com
- Email: contact@mypredestinedone.org, contact@tiffanyfinley.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mypredestinedone/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyPredestinedOne/
- Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MyPredestined1
Image Credit:
Laveta Rochelle Photography
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