Malaisia Stokes shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Malaisia , it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: What are you being called to do now, that you may have been afraid of before?
In this moment I’m being called to act rather than ponder. I’ve been in my own bubble for awhile now, between finishing school, working full time, and being an entrepreneur.. the days are blending into one another. I’m being called to act on my goals, to plan and dedicate myself to a routine that continues to lead and bless my path of passion and pursuit to purpose. I have a feeling that the saying “I’m just getting started” is my life currently lol. Slowly but surely. I’ve been afraid to apply myself 100% because burn out is real and has been real. But I’m finding my pace.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Lai (Malaisia) and I am, and do, many things. I consider myself an overall creative who dibble dabbles in most things artsy, holistic, entertaining and expressive. I spent a few years in the modeling and acting scene. I’ve spent some years working with non-profit organizations doing content creation and marketing, as well as years of youth mentorship within schools to help heal and guide underserved youth through music, songwriting, engineering and more. I’ve been an entrepreneurship for 5 years owning a handcrafted jewelry business called Lai’s Body Galore where my primary focus is healing through adornment with waistbeads and belly chains. I also have a flagship program called ‘Whine2Heal’ which is my online waist-whining and healing course for women seeking a deeper connection to the art form of whining, and healing inward. It’s been a long and hard journey navigating my needs for creative involvement- collaborating and also doing most things solo, while trying to stay afloat of orders, content creation, finishing school as a full time student to then working full time. I guess I shouldn’t leave that out since I did that. I graduated this spring 2025 with my Bachelors degree in Psychology. That’s right.. your girl is educated! My passion for understanding the human psyche and our emotions, along with mental disorders and more is what made me interested after getting my associates degree at 19. I knew I wanted to further my education as a true humanitarian who is involved in many different spaces where I experience different kinds of people daily- it felt like a necessary degree as it holds so much transferable knowledge for any career you branch into. With all of the pursuits I’ve listed, I’ve added on a true passion for behavioral therapy with children on the Autism spectrum. I work full time assisting in early intervention with children from the ages of 2-8 navigating life with autism. It’s a challenging job but rewarding to know that I get to directly impact young lives every day, in such a beautiful way. So, with all that said.. what’s next for me? I’m still figuring that out! But a promise I made to myself this year after graduating was that I will get back into the studio and resume my music. And I will take my online presence more seriously. I used to have this big dream of getting signed young and performing my music day in and day out. But now, at 25.. I crave slowness and peace. The desire for sharing my music in this next chapter of my life isn’t for fame or attention anymore, but rather to connect inward and allow myself to express and get out all that’s been stagnant and stuck within me. As I continue pursuing all that I am, I’d like to delve into that essence of my creativity. I don’t care to perform every weekend and “prove” i’m an artist to be taken seriously. I simply already am an artist in all ways of my existence.. the only permission I need is my own. And it costs nothing for me to begin slowly. By writing and finishing all the unfinished songs and poems stored in my journals, notes app, and voice memo. And I will be sharing my creations for those in need of that sweet reflection and gentle reminder. You can do, and create, anything you want. Period. As for content creation, I’ve noticed i’m good at growing my social media accounts. I want to see what more I can do in that area. Brand deals? Food reviews? I know there’s a bag in that field for me too lol.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who taught you the most about work?
I have to say all the women in my life growing up gave me the most insight on work. To work and to have the work ethic to work.. and work well. I’ve seen and been around women entrepreneurs since I was young, and also lived with women on Section 8 and barely getting by. I’ve seen women find a way in every sense. I think the pressure of working and being a woman of softness is hard for me to navigate, but it’s rewarding to know that I am fully capable of working. Whether working for someone else or for myself.. and as for now both. It’s draining most days but somehow rewarding and addicting at the same time. The women I’ve witnessed in my life who worked for not only themselves, but their children and families overall is what taught me the most. I hardly saw a man work until I was adopted at 15 and experienced a 2 parent household for the first time in my life. I believe watching my dad take care of all of us shifted my views on work. It made me a little lazy in areas i’m working on now- staying consistent and driven when the motivation is gone. But, I admire the deep desire to maintain our family well being and access to our basic needs. As much as I work now, I definitely dream to work less and make 100x more than I do now haha. #manifesting.
What’s something you changed your mind about after failing hard?
I recently changed my mind about not moving out of my hometown. Months before graduating with my bachelors degree I had a deep desire to relocate from all I’ve known in Kansas City, Missouri, to Dallas Texas. I got a job offer and just needed to secure housing. Due to hiccups with credit I grew discouraged of apartment denials and not having the security of a home for the move. I had everything planned in April, and by the end of the month I got a denial for an apartment I felt was the only right option for me. I gave up and succumbed to being underpaid at the job I had at the time, while feeling stuck that a lot of things wouldn’t change for me. I had a few weeks of depression until I remembered who I am. I’m one of the most tenacious people i’ve met, so I tapped into that energy and applied myself again. By mid-June I had secured housing for myself in Texas and had an official start date for my new job set for July. Just like that. I felt I had failed and wanted to give in. But after reassessing my life and what I outgrew, I knew the desire to move was the Most High/God planting that in me again. It was then that I realized what I want aligns with what I need, whenever I keep God and my ancestors at the center of my plans. This move to Dallas has been so healing. Not just for me, but for the women before me who’ve passed on so that I can experience the life I have. I’m walking with my people! I feel they’re proud of me as I come from a strong bloodline of women who have suffered in ways I can’t imagine. I never knew I was capable until I did it.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What’s a belief or project you’re committed to, no matter how long it takes?
Myself. I am the biggest project I will ever work on continuously, and I believe that the work I do to honor my spirit and purpose is what will lead me and others in my bloodline, and strangers even, to their truths and purpose too. I know that the ways I want to heal inward do not and cannot rely on a timeline the way I once thought it would. At 20, I assumed I’d have it all figured out by 25 and triggers wouldn’t ever touch me. Now at 25, I see all the ways I’ve grown. And man, I’m so thankful for it. But it’s a journey to uncovering the layers of our own truth, let alone discovering your true expression and purpose in this world. I have an idea of what the next 5 years leading me into my 30’s will look like. But I’m smart enough to know I know nothing at all. I will continue to tend to this self project of mine for life.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. If you laid down your name, role, and possessions—what would remain?
Great question. What would remain is a little girl hoping to be loved and seen. I don’t like to admit that but I grew up and was exposed to great trauma for majority of my upbringing. I just wanted to feel safe and loved and to not be misjudged all the time. What remains is a human girl in a big mean world with a heart of gold. A light. I often reflect on who she was, and how she still exists today. The desire for slow mornings and kisses. Cuddles and conversation. I’m literally just a girl!! I’ve had to learn how to add titles to my name. “Lai Goddess” the entrepreneur, the creative. But Malaisia exists too. I’ve been delving into my existence and trying to find comfort in just existing without the titles, roles and possessions. It’s peaceful and feels safe.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.patreon.com/c/u82859688?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goddessxlai?igsh=MWlnMDhkdGR3cnhyYQ==
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@laigoddess?si=ruNdC7K5Vb38OjQS
- Soundcloud: https://on.soundcloud.com/uNBz41uJVH23vKhb5t
- Other: Whine2Heal – TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whine2heal?_t=ZP-8ywCa6Y3yG6&_r=1
