We’re looking forward to introducing you to Tova Sido-Schrank. Check out our conversation below.
Tova, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. When have you felt most loved—and did you believe you deserved it?
Oh man do I love this question – mostly because I love the answer! I have had the privilege of loving and being loved by lots of people in my 54 years – but I would have to say I have felt the MOST love in this lifetime from my firstborn son, Charlie. The night I gave birth to Charlie was the greatest night of my life. I have never been more excited – and never felt more love in my life. My precious Charlie was diagnosed at 4 months with a rare disease (mitochondrial disease) and only lived to be 8 months. That is what makes his love so special. We only shared a physical love for 8 months on this earth – over 20 years ago – and it is still the greatest love I have ever experienced. Charlie loved me unconditionally. I know it. The way he smiled at me – the way he stared at me – the way he hung on to me and me to him – I will never forget it. I’m not sure anyone deserves to be loved unconditionally – because we are all so human and flawed……..But I got that from him. It is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given – and I can’t wait to see his beautiful face again one day.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Tova Sido- Schrank. I am a pastor and a counselor. I specialize in individual, couples and pre-marital counseling and I have the greatest privilege of officiating weddings several times a year. I LOVE my job. i love my job because everyday I get to wake up and provide hope for people’s lives, relationships and future. What could be better than that? I have also written 3 books (a memoir and two devotionals), hosted a podcast for 7+ years (called The Remedy) and speak and teach whenever given the opportunity! I am the mother of three children that are 21 (twins) and a 20 year old as well. They are a total blast! And I think I can safely say I have one of the best husbands ever. I truly have a beautiful life.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What breaks the bonds between people—and what restores them?
Sadly….trust. When trust is broken the relationship is gravely compromised – and that is an incredibly difficult road to come back from. When people come seek counseling for how to restore trust – I describe it as a bank. When trust is broken – all the money is gone. Zero. There’s very little to nothing left. And so in order for the account (relationship) to have value – deposits – and ONLY deposits must be made. Again and again and again and again. Not one deposit. Lots of deposits – day after day that restore the account – and make it hole. Only deposits – no withdrawals – indefinitely. It’s the only way to restore what has been broken.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Absolutely. When I was a small child I had one dream, One. To be a mom. And so when I became pregnant for the first time and became a mom – you can imagine how high my spirit was flying! I have never been happier. From 1999 to 2005 I endured unimaginable loss and heartache. I gave birth to a stillborn, had a miscarriage and then gave birth to two children – one in 2003 and another in 2004 that both died (my son Charlie was first and his sister Louisa was my second) at 8 months. It was clear at that point my dreams of becoming a mother were shattered. The grief was overwhelming and consumed my days. I often contemplated suicide because living was so painful. I absolutely lost hope and wanted to give up. It was a long and dark and complicated road out of that “place” – but over time, I made it out of that hole and began to find purpose and meaning to a life I never expected. I began working at a church – found great purpose in my role there -and in 2009 went to work in an orphanage in Africa where I immediately spotted my 3 children. At the time they were 5, 5 and 4 years old. A year later, they were in my home in Dallas, Texas. They are the greatest joys and the thing I am most proud of in my life. I am so incredibly proud to be their momma. And I am so damn glad I didn’t give up.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. Whom do you admire for their character, not their power?
My husband. He is a very successful CEO of a mortgage company – and when he plays golf with people and they ask what he does – he says, “I’m in the mortgage business.” He is the kindest, most steady, loving, family oriented man with the biggest heart. He is so unassuming – a total rock to me and our kids…….and just the best human I have ever known.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
I understand that beautiful lessons that can come from deep deep suffering. Most people look at suffering as something to avoid. I don’t blame them. There was a time I would have chosen ANYTHING but suffering……but through immense suffering my perspective has changed. Through every life lesson – whether it was a loss of a child, parent, career, relationship, body health……I have learned a great great lesson that has made me a much more kind, compassionate, loving, understanding – warm human who tried hard to not judge but rather meet people with love. We never know what people have been through or might be going through……people need love. Every single one of us.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: tovasidoschrank
- Linkedin: Tova Sido
- Youtube: The Remedy
