Today we’d like to introduce you to Valerie Hope.
Hi Valerie, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
I spent 14 years working in human resources for an important and well-respected corporation as a regional director of learning.
In 2017, my department was eliminated from the organization. I was shocked and discouraged when the only options I had were to either interview for another position or leave the organization.
I thought to myself, “This can’t be happening. Everything was going so well for me and now it’s just gone. If this role disappears, what am I supposed to do?”
In this role I had traveled the world, stayed in beautiful hotels, worked with an amazing team and did fulfilling, purpose-driven work with incredible leaders. This wasn’t just about a job, it was about a career that was an integral part of my identity, my lifestyle…everything.
I remember thinking…
“Who am I without this position?”
Deep down, I understood that spiritually I would be taken care of. I had been laid off once before and had survived. Nevertheless, I was terrified of starting over. Not just the job, but losing access to people I respected, work I was proud of, and the life I had built around it.
I recalled that a long time ago, I committed to only doing work that made me feel alive. Since I could see nothing else in the organization inspired that sense of aliveness, I took the severance package.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Shortly after my last day in the company, I was invited to speak at a leadership development conference. I thought to myself, “this is my golden opportunity to network my way into a new job!”
During the three-day conference, each time I was introduced to someone new they would ask, “Who do you work for?” or “What do you do?” Each time I cringed inside. I was ashamed to just say I had been laid off. I was still processing it. So, I tried saying things like: “I’m in transition”, or “I’m a freelancer.”
On the final day of the conference, while listening to yet another speaker share their organization’s challenges, their solutions, and their philosophy to leadership development, I began feeling impatient and irritated.
Most of the speakers I heard were saying and doing the same things in leadership development that I had been hearing about for nearly 20 years that I’ve been in the industry. It was unoriginal, there was no apparent urgency to shake up the status quo. No one was challenging us to think differently about how to evolve learning in order to develop leaders as quickly and effectively as technology had been evolving.
Sitting there I had this visceral reaction… like I wanted to stand up and say out loud, ‘This approach doesn’t work!’
Not because the tools were wrong, but because I sensed something deeper was missing.
Why were we still focused on external measures of performance, engagement, and business results without looking at the internal state and conditions of the people doing the work?
In my experience working with leaders, I knew that meaningful and impactful work wasn’t reflected in the scorecard. It’s all about helping them acknowledge and understand how they feel and what they need while they’re playing the game. This data is priceless!
At that moment, something else became clear to me. There was no way I was going to limit myself. I had spent years finding ways to make my work come alive, to grow, to stretch, to deepen it…and I couldn’t go back to doing work that felt flat. I needed a challenge, depth, and the autonomy to explore and address what I could see was missing.
In that moment, at that conference, I realized that finding a job in another corporation was not the answer.
Unfortunately, although I had felt the fire in my belly…I was still afraid to do something I didn’t understand quite how to do.
A month later, while I attending a personal development workshop, my insecurities were challenged when the workshop facilitator told me ‘Valerie, do something that scares you. You should be running your own company’. and I made up some excuse to practically run out of the room.
Soon after a colleague ‘accidentally’ introduced me as a business owner. I literally poked him in the ribs whispering loudly, ‘Don’t say that. It’s not true.’
But the moment everything cracked open was when a coach I had just met asked me, if I did decide to start a business what I would name it.
I braced myself. I could feel it. She was challenging something in me I wasn’t ready to see. I played along and brainstormed a few names.
She then pulled out her phone and said, ‘Let’s see if that domain name is available.’
I remember thinking, ‘Who does this woman think she is? Why is she doing this?’
When she showed me the price of the name… $22.75 per year, everything stopped.
That’s all it cost to have a website? That’s what I’ve been so afraid of?
In that moment, I realized, my fear wasn’t about starting a business.
My fears were about the stories I had created in my head about how difficult, expensive, and complicated it would be. But I never researched it.
I was scared of something I didn’t even understand. My lack of understanding blocked me from moving towards my own fulfillment.
And before I could talk myself out of it…I said, ‘I’ll buy that domain name.’” In that instant, I stopped focusing on all the things I feared and started to think about what I needed to learn. Learning and experimenting with new things has always been a strength for me. In my fear haze, I had forgotten to tap into my own superpowers.
That moment taught me something I now see in leaders all the time.
They’ve outsourced their innate value to their titles, salaries, to how direct reports they have, or if they get the promotion or not.
But what happens when those things get taken away? They also lose sense of who they are.
That’s where the fear comes from. Not just the loss of a job, but the loss of identity.
And then we make it worse. We tell ourselves we must figure it all out on our own. That we need more time, more knowledge, more certainty before we make a move.
But what I’ve learned is this: Fear grows when we isolate ourselves, worrying about the worst-case scenarios. When we shift from fear to curiosity we can tap into our inner strengths and have access to more external resources.
As the bestselling author and spiritual teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Once I released the fear kept in place by my ego, I stopped wasting energy blocking the perspectives and ideas others had been offering me all along.
I then started reaching out to my network for guidance. My friend, Sammy, a CPA, showed me how to set up an LLC and the financial systems I needed. Bob and Jane, a retired speaker/author duo from my church, recommended which resources would be best for me. I signed up for business courses to learn how to run and promote a business.
All of this was possible because I tapped into my strength of community and connection by reaching out to the right people for guidance and support.
Time and time again, I am reminded that neither life nor leadership are do-it-yourself projects. The way to handle fear wasn’t more thinking; it was by connecting with the right people. They provided me with the clarity I needed to move forward.
I decided to name my company, Connect to Joy, LLC, as a reminder to always tap into that sense of aliveness I committed to long ago. Joy gives me a deep sense of fulfillment, of purpose, of inspiration.
Even when the structures we have relied on begin to crumble all around us. We must start by doing what Mr. Rogers taught us: “look for the helpers.” Look for those in your circle who can hold you emotionally, so you don’t have to carry it alone. Those who challenge you to think beyond yourself so you can take new actions. Those who model for you what is possible.
Because the truth is, the clarity you’re looking for isn’t something to figure out. It’s something you discover while tapping into the right people.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about Connect to Joy, LLC?
I work with leaders who have achieved success on the outside but don’t always feel clarity or fulfillment on the inside. Through individual coaching and group facilitation, I help leaders reconnect to who they are beyond their titles, especially during times of change, uncertainty, or growth.
What sets my work apart is my O.M.G. framework: Own, Master, and Give. Leaders Own their experiences, limitations, and talents. They Master their response by moving through fear and uncertainty with curiosity, learning, and aligned action. Then they Give by intentionally connecting with the best people to challenge, support, and expand their
thinking. I’m most proud of helping leaders see themselves differently, because real change doesn’t come from more effort; it comes from deep self-awareness and meaningful relationships.
So, before we go, how can our readers or others connect or collaborate with you? How can they support you?
Check out www.ValerieHope.com for additional information. Tune into my podcasts on my YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/@ConnecttoJoy) or on your favorite podcasting platform.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.valeriehope.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valeriehope/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valeriehope/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ConnecttoJoy
